Should I tell her he's been sleeping with me

[Damaged27]

Changed name for this as its really outing. My ex and I have been sleeping together since we broke up kind of a fwb situation. Where not together and free to do whatever with whoever. However iv just found out, not from him that he has been in a relationship with another woman for almost a year and she is a minimum of 12 weeks pregnant with his child. He has not said a word to me about this. Aibu to tell her or should I just walk away and let them have their little family.
Yabu. Don't tell her
Yanbu. Tell her what a cheating asshole she is with.

It has absolutely not taken the responsibility off you

No. And stop sleeping with him.

Because they are a bunch of unreflective misogynists who are completely clouded by their deeply prejudiced and anti-woman views.

You’ve done nothing wrong and been put in a horrible position. Take care OP.

Yes I would tell. Women colluding with men so the men can get away with this behaviour doesn't do any of us any favours.

I would, because I've been her and needed to go for STI checks, because I had no idea what dirty hole he'd been sticking his dick in so for my own physical health I wish people had told me.

All a bit icky...

@OP I would concentrate my energies on removing myself from this ridiculous relationship and stop sleeping with him. Block all contact from him -email, social media etc. Then work on your bruised self esteem and put it down to a lesson learnt.
Let's be honest the welfare of the other woman is the least of your worries although you may convince yourself that you are concerned for her health, wellbeing etc This woman is nothing to you. It's adrenaline from the shock of finding out you've been deceived & anger that is speaking but your actions sound more palatable if you dress it as being done out of concern.

He's a liar and cheat and she'll find out in her own time. Take care of yourself.

Unless the other women lied to him about contraception I hardly see how she 'trapped him'. What an utter tosser he is, you have to tell her

I don't understand hiw pps can advise to not let the poor woman know, that's so cold

Respectfully, that's a cop out. Whilst I agree that single people can sleep with whoever they like, so doing can make life very messy and cause heartbreak, which it has done/will do here.

Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should!

He sounds a real peach. Why and how are you going to tell her, you don't know her, you only know her by stalking her on fb, were you going to fb message her? I would dump him, forget about them all, he wasn't trapped idiot.

I think she has a right to know. I'd want to in her position.

Cut him off, move on, have some STI checks as you've both been having unprotected sex with multiple other people.

Not your place to tell her.

The other woman is none of OP's business they are strangers. Unless I've missed something & they already know each other or are friends then it is pure spite. I'm sure I don't need to explain why sharing information about cheating plus a possible STI to the woman who has got the man (Prince charming!) would be suspect. OP is too compromised for any information she gives to be seen as coming from a good place.
Most women do not believe it because it's coming from a stranger who is /was romantically involved with their partner and has just found out they've been deceived. Op needs to stay out of the man and his woman's lives and concentrate on hers.

If he is really saying that about the mother of his child imagine what he's saying about all the other fwb he has. You are probably not the other woman, more just another woman. If anyone had any sense they'd all tell him to bore off .

@Damaged27 It goes without saying that you should block him on everything of course and never speak to him again.

You've got this all wrong. She needs to know because of health and just health as her emotional decision whether to leave or not is not your business.

Yeah, I bet if he is breaking up with her, he forgets to let her know.
He is showing off scan pictures of the baby. Hardly sounds like someone who was conned into a baby to 'trap him'.
The only scam artist in the scenario is him.

I'd just tell her. Perhaps her breaking up with him will really rock his giant ego, the prick.
I bet you he isn't planning on breaking up with her at all. He will be desperate trying to look like the 'good guy', doing the right thing. Dumping his pregnant GF is something an egotistical twat just wouldn't do. He wouldn't be able to bear to be seen as 'the bad guy'.

Plus, he has had a year to let you know about their relationship, before any baby was on the scene! And he kept that to himself. What makes you think he actually deserves a chance here? What chance, what choice for that matter, did he give either of you? Her had you both believing you were in the relationship/FWB situation that you choose and he sure as hell wasn't going to rock that little boat by actually telling the truth, was he?
He is a cake eater. I'd be shoving that cake down his throat and watching him choke on it.

It is her choice but she should be given a choice based on all the info.

Exactly. Which is why she deserves to know her boyfriend is sleeping with at least one other person.

@Damaged27 I only found out yesterday and we haven't had sex in over a week as iv been recovering from an abortion (not his baby) so no not still shagging him

THIS is why she needs to know. You have been having sex with multiple men and thereby she has been exposed to potential STI and she's now pregnant.

Please tell her and stop shagging men in relationships

Why would the OP care. She doesn't care that a pregnant woman doesn't know that she has been exposed to potential sti

You're not a FWB, you're the affair partner

I'd tell her. He's been shagging you - who else has he been diddling? She has a right to know that he's a sleaze and could've given her something more than a baby

Get yourself down the GUM clinic too