To think this is an unfair bill split?

[Willow39]

Hi all.
I am a full time student who is also working full time. I earn £1200pm after tax. I'm a trainee teacher and have to work as a TA full time during my course so I'm stuck for options work wise.

My partner and I have just moved into an apartment with rent of £1300pm. Bills are circa £400pm so £1700 all in to run it. The flat is nothing special and price is because we are in London.

I contribute £800 which is just under 50% of everything, leaving me £75 a week disposable income after my personal bills.

However, my partner earns significantly more than me at circa £3000pm

I'm in a sticky situation where I agreed to this bill share when we moved in and now I'm really left in the shit. I can just about pay for fuel and food for the week if I'm careful.

I have tried to bring this up to him and he just gets angry saying that I'm going back on everything and that it's my fault that I chose to go to university and take my career path. He told me I should get a second job to support myself but I can't manage even more hours on top of one full time job and full time university...

Any advice on how to handle it with him?

She can want to change the situation, but it’s fine if he doesn’t want to-they can end the living arrangements.

It doesn’t seem like the OP wants to end the living arrangements though, it sounds like she just wants her boyfriend to agree to pay more so she has more spending money.

When you are newly living together-these are the times to iron out any problems or decide that actually, ‘not living together’ is a better decision.

@Shinyandnew1 oh yeah definitely. I just think that’s what she’s trying to do.

Should be 50/50. Why should someone else pay for you? Could your parents lend you money or get a loan. He's not your husband. He's a boyfriend. I'd feel guilty to take money from a bf.

Move out ASAP and don't tell him, just pack your bags while he is out of the house and go. Explain to your parents what is going on, I am sure they will understand and let you move back in with them, that is what parents are for.

Honestly so many men out there are not looking for a partner, but a flatmate to share their expenses with and have regular sex with. Disgusting.

Move out ASAP and don't tell him, just pack your bags while he is out of the house and go.

The OP has already said she doesn’t want to. She hadn’t been back to the thread for some time.

Hi all sorry for the silence!
We have sorted it out. We had a big sit down chat about everything and looked at our finances together. Unfortunately, his disposable income is much less than I thought it was. He has a lot of debt which I wasn't aware of, mainly business loans that he's working through. At this rate they'll be paid off within 6 months it seems. I've picked myself up another job for a few hours a week instead. I'll get about £300pm extra income which will take the pressure off a huge amount. Thanks all. Just needed some communication.

So HE couldn't afford to actually live in this flat and conned his girlfriend into living with him whilst HE pays off his debts and YOU have a full time job full time Uni AND now a 2nd job ?!!!

Oh well at least you can afford to have your nails done...

Oh wow. It wasn't your fault for going back to university.

It was because he hadn't been upfront about his debts and needed you to subsidise the new place.

I wonder what else he hasn't told you about.

So what will happen in 6 months when his debt is paid off?

How convenient that he has a debt that he didn't mention previously. Hmm. Either way the guy is a tit and OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon nailed it saying he only wanted to move in with you because he can't afford the rent on his own. Good luck op. Don't be suprised when in 6 months some "unexpected" expense pops up that means you still have to keep working 2 jobs.

Absolutely! You should get out now whilst it's still relatively easy Op.

Totally agree! You have been warned!

“Just needed some communication.”

Well yes, if my communication you mean a chance for him to bullshit you 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m actually one of the minority posters here who think he has no obligation to subsidise you, and he didn’t expect any more money from you than you - a grown adult - agreed to.

But what on earth are you doing, moving out from your parents when you’re a student, to pay out more to subsidise his loan repayments?

He is using the common boil the frog method, telling you it will only be 6 months until he has paid off debts, which makes you think it's not that bad because you only have to work 2 jobs for 6 months, but than there will be another expense, another debt he didn't mention etc. Kind of like when the goverment told us we are only locking down for 2 weeks.

It would certainly be interesting to know if this “communication” led to even a fake agreement that the bills will be split differently in 6 months time.

My tenner says not.

Yes sorry @Willow39 I'm afraid I agree with this. You don't really have security with this man - he will just spin you another line when the six months is up. He's already been shady with you about what was up with his finances - it wasn't a case of him just not communicating properly, but actively leaving you in the dark and reacting negatively when you tried to speak to him about not managing. Taking up even more work commitment yourself on top of studying and a job hardly sounds fair - what's he doing to help pay his debt quicker, apart from you there?

Also, you're not in the tenancy so what's to stop him telling you to leave when his finances are in better order and he doesn't need you to financially prop him up any more? The fact the landlord knows you're living there means little as far as your security is concerned. 🌹