Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

[ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees]

Hi, I don't know if neighbour is weird or if I'm just being silly?

I also don't have any children or huge experience with them. I asked a mom friend and think she is still laughing at me!!!

I don't know my neighbours well other than to wave and say hello in passing. I don't even know their names or they mine. I suspect they don't have family nearby.

This evening I get knock on the door. Male neighbour and his little girl. It's clear little girl (5/6) is a little upset. Mum is pregnant and due in 2 weeks and has been taken to hospital for observation. Don't have full story but iron & blood pressure issues.

The man has asked if I can do his daughter's hair every morning for school as he can't plait it. Little girl has gorgeous long hair she always wears in a plait. He can't plait it.

In awkwardness, I tried to show him how. I think he has bigger things on his mind as he didn't really want to learn, just wants me to do it. Anyway I have agreed to plait it every morning while mum is in hospital once his daughter is here at a certain time. What else could I say?

Is this normal and ok? Will the mum be ok with it? Should kids that age not be able to do it themselves? Could he not just put it in a ponytail?

Please tell me it's normal and I'm just overthinking it. I'm not usually awkward but this has thrown me for some reason. I don't know these people.

Why is it different? Are you assuming single mothers live in some kind of magic fairy land with no worries or problems at all? Where we do not experience a massive gender pay gap, institutional sexism, societal judgement, parental guilt and impossible competing demands on our time - and we have personal genies who turn up to take care of it whenever we encounter something that we don’t know how to do?

Tbh, I was more offended by the posts referring to me as "the nearest vagina" than anything the dad did or said.

Yeh, that’s really weird and offensive.

I think it’s something that men find more difficult - there’s a bit in the Rio Ferdinand documentary ‘Being Mum and Dad’ where you see him struggling to do his daughter’s hair.

Good news that the baby’s here safely.

@DorsetCafes no the genies won't turn up.......... so ask a friendly neighbour?

Just you know, an idea?

What the hell are you even on about? Can only assume you’re high or something?? You’ve gone off on a massive tangent with no reasoning to what I actually said. Someone helping a neighbour out and doing a nice thing as a dad (or whoever else) has been but in a stressful situation worrying about their wife and unborn child has turned into a bloody women’s rights march 🤦‍♀️

Exactly! Not that much of an issue surely is it! Glad someone can see

What a charming way to meet and befriend your neighbors!

@Noglitterallowed

I am happy to explain this for you.

This is a feminist issue because male helplessness when it comes to tasks they consider women’s work/beneath them is one of the tools used to maintain the patriarchy. Why waste time learning how to cook or sew on name tapes or plait hair when one could be off doing something more interesting and profitable?

And in this particular situation, “being worried about his wife” is no excuse. He’s had six years of his daughter’s life to learn how to do this, and has chosen not to. And now, with no wife around to do it, he’s choosing to offload it onto a stranger - with her own worries and responsibilities - just because she happens to be the same sex as his wife.

I don’t see anything “charming” about this at all, just as I don’t see anything charming about the common perception that a man’s time is more valuable than a woman’s.

I think it’s lovely. It’s like what a community used to look like years ago - neighbours helping and small gestures of kindness 💕

I imagine he has panicked and thought she is a women and she can help! I don’t think it’s weird just one of those funny stories.
I was recently in hospital and my partner took my daughter to nursery with a hair pack and a note saying could someone please help 😂

I meant to update this earlier but couldn't find the thread.

I actually became friends with this family and they are lovely. We were invited around to theirs a few times briefly and got to know each other properly.

They moved out at the weekend to their forever home but me & partner are invited to the housewarming BBQ when the weather improves.

Just to answer some questions that I can now answer.

• Mum had no clue initially
• Dad was going to ask a friend's mum to help but daughter suggested me because I apparently told her once I used to have plaits in my hair when I was her age (don't remember but very possible)
• Dad knew it was odd but just wanted daughter calm & thought I would help or just say I wasn't able
• Mum didn't care - said she likes the fact her husband finds solutions and looks after them all

Incidentally, they know about the thread because my partner doesn't always think before talking. When the mum said "you probably thought what is this strange man doing?" My partner just came out with "yes she did so she asked mothers on the Internet and they told her to help!" Thankfully they found the humour in it.

So she told me to thank you all so THANK YOU from my neighbour/new friend!

Awwww :)

Ohhhh love this update! Thank you!

What a lovely outcome!

Lovely update. Thank you for coming back and telling us all.

How lovely! Thank you for coming back with an update!

And to all the naysayers and miserable folk - do you see? This is what community looks like! The world be a better place with more of this going on!

Lovely story, glad you made a good friend. To all the negative posts hope you will never need a helping hand.

Awww so pleased to hear it all worked out and you made friends from it OP!

What a lovely update ❤️

Loved all your posts, what a lovely story :)