Page 9 | To think this is probably the worst mistake ever

Justbreakingnow · 2024-01-30T14:47:26+00:00

I know, it’s not forever, but does anyone enjoy this? Memories become hazy over the years and it’s easy to remember the baby days as this lovely simple time. Mine just cries and cries relentlessly. Won’t feed and won’t really interact with anything. So I’ve just lost it. I’ve screamed and screamed and put the baby somewhere I can’t hear and I don’t care. It feels a bit like - well, I’ve tried all day to comfort and got nowhere so is there actually any point? I’m miserable and I can’t see forwards.

FTMbg · 30/01/2024 19:15

Justbreakingnow · 30/01/2024 16:43

It’s just one of those wait it out things. Some people have PMd thinking she has reflux and I don’t think so, unless reflux suddenly comes on at this age which is unlikely. She wants to be on the move and she is very irritable and frustrated. A typical. Shift at home will be home her for two minutes, she starts arching her back and squirming and crying then put her on her play mat, another two minutes then crying, repeat all day.

She doesn’t feed much and she doesn’t nap much. So breaks are very few and far between. And I know it’s not forever. I’m not going back to work just yet and I don’t want to wish this time away but days with just us are somewhat miserable just at the moment.

Our cmpa baby was a screamer from the word go but eczema only started on weaning, so I guess it's possible an allergy could be showing up now? Ours also wanted to crawl but was miserable lying down at that age and wanted me always there but hated the sling. I walked miles with pram but also invested in certain toys to keep her happier sitting up, these were the most successful: www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/toys/wooden-toys-and-puzzles/traditional-wooden-toys/baby-einstein-upbeat-tunes-magic-touch-drum/p/197320 the noise gets repetitive but is better than screaming.

I know lovely people of older generations who were left in prams in the garden to cry as babies and were perfectly content well balanced adults so please don't feel bad when you need a break. Hope you get some help soon and some peace and quiet to relax.

ArabellaScott · 30/01/2024 19:20

Justbreakingnow · 30/01/2024 18:06

No I don’t want her near me tbh. Let’s just let the thread die. None of these suggestions work and I don’t want to waste peoples time. We just have to wait.

It's not wasting anyones time, OP. Lots of us have been through it with a gurny baby and are happy to help.

Do you go out to baby groups?

TrixieFatell · 30/01/2024 19:32

I agree with some of the posters above. We recommend cry-sis which are a support.group.for babies that cry excessively

Helpline 0800 448 0737

https://www.cry-sis.org.uk/

Support For Crying And Sleepless Babies | Cry-sis

Cry-sis, the only UK charity offering help and support to parents with babies who cry excessively or have sleeping problems. Call the helpline now...

https://www.cry-sis.org.uk

AngeloMysterioso · 30/01/2024 21:20

Justbreakingnow · 30/01/2024 18:14

I really don’t think it’s PND. I think anyone would be fed up!

Absolutely. People suggested PND when DS2 was putting us through this hell (my mum died when he was 9 weeks old which didn’t help) and I just wanted to scream “I’m not depressed, my life is just fucking awful!!”

surreygirl1987 · 30/01/2024 21:23

Absolutely. People suggested PND when DS2 was putting us through this hell (my mum died when he was 9 weeks old which didn’t help) and I just wanted to scream “I’m not depressed, my life is just fucking awful!!”

Yes, same. Except I think I did become depressed BECAUSE of the constant crying.

Ladolcevita233 · 30/01/2024 21:39

Could it be teething?

In which case she could have plenty of (appropriately timed) Calpol and neurofen.

Feelingdisappointed2024 · 30/01/2024 22:34

It sounds like she's fed up of being at home - my babies were like this. Get out to a baby group etc. in the morning, then to the library/park in the afternoon.

Original poster

Justbreakingnow · 30/01/2024 23:29

I nearly posted a really sarky response to that but that’s unfair.

Baby groups are fine but they generally last an hour max.

DD can’t quite sit up independently yet, so what’s she supposed to do at the park?

We do get out of the house a lot. But you know, we do sometimes have to get stuff done. Laundry, cooking, some clearing up so we’re not living in chaos.

Today has been utterly miserable, I can’t lie. Twisting, writhing, squirming, arching all day and without even naps to break it up. And she squirms and twists just as frantically at baby groups as she does at home, by the way. I’m sure it is a phase and I hope a short lived one but it’s still a miserable one and is getting me down.

OP posts:

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 30/01/2024 23:58

Does she like a carrier? Is she formula or breast fed? Has she started solids?

Feelingdisappointed2024 · 31/01/2024 00:01

Justbreakingnow · 30/01/2024 23:29

I nearly posted a really sarky response to that but that’s unfair.

Baby groups are fine but they generally last an hour max.

DD can’t quite sit up independently yet, so what’s she supposed to do at the park?

We do get out of the house a lot. But you know, we do sometimes have to get stuff done. Laundry, cooking, some clearing up so we’re not living in chaos.

Today has been utterly miserable, I can’t lie. Twisting, writhing, squirming, arching all day and without even naps to break it up. And she squirms and twists just as frantically at baby groups as she does at home, by the way. I’m sure it is a phase and I hope a short lived one but it’s still a miserable one and is getting me down.

This sounds like something medical - what does your GP say? I got the impression from your previous posts that she was only happy when on the move. But twisting, arching and generally being uncomfortable isn't normal.

ArabellaScott · 31/01/2024 07:00

Feelingdisappointed2024 · 31/01/2024 00:01

This sounds like something medical - what does your GP say? I got the impression from your previous posts that she was only happy when on the move. But twisting, arching and generally being uncomfortable isn't normal.

Show quote history

Agree. I'd ring health visitor or doc.

LeopardPJS · 31/01/2024 09:52

My baby was also like this and it was silent reflux. She was just uncomfortable all the time. I had to have her upright all the time. It was exhausting and awful but it didn't last for ever. In the end - I acknowledge the NHS says its unsafe - but I slept her on her front. She slept through the night and I got my sanity back. I did it with an under-mattress movement monitor. I'm not advocating this to anyone simply saying what worked for us and stopped me from going totally insane.

peachgreen · 31/01/2024 11:13

Twisting, writhing, squirming, arching all day and without even naps to break it up. And she squirms and twists just as frantically at baby groups as she does at home, by the way. I’m sure it is a phase and I hope a short lived one but it’s still a miserable one and is getting me down.

These are all pain indicators. She's in pain. See your GP. I know how insurmountable it all feels when you're tired and miserable and it's awful that you have to be the one to push it, but it's the only avenue left right now.

Merryoldgoat · 31/01/2024 11:24

My son was like this and it was hell. He had a lactose intolerance which I was constantly fobbed off about.

We went through it all on and off for nearly a year until I decided to try lactose free milk and he was cured over night.

I was enraged and elated in equal measure.

It is an unbelievable horror when they’re like that. Sorry you’re going through this @Justbreakingnow

Mulhollandmagoo · 31/01/2024 13:19

Justbreakingnow · 30/01/2024 23:29

I nearly posted a really sarky response to that but that’s unfair.

Baby groups are fine but they generally last an hour max.

DD can’t quite sit up independently yet, so what’s she supposed to do at the park?

We do get out of the house a lot. But you know, we do sometimes have to get stuff done. Laundry, cooking, some clearing up so we’re not living in chaos.

Today has been utterly miserable, I can’t lie. Twisting, writhing, squirming, arching all day and without even naps to break it up. And she squirms and twists just as frantically at baby groups as she does at home, by the way. I’m sure it is a phase and I hope a short lived one but it’s still a miserable one and is getting me down.

Reading this, I think you need to get her checked out OP, it sounds like she's in pain/uncomfortable in some way.

BurbageBrook · 31/01/2024 14:24

Agree with PPs. If she's squirming constantly even at baby groups and can't be distracted she honestly sounds like she's in pain. You need a referral to a paediatrician.

BurbageBrook · 31/01/2024 14:27

I really do feel for you OP but I also think you do need to get her checked out medically with those pain indicators, and try cutting things out of diet etc as it really isn't normal.

tinyangel · 31/01/2024 16:20

Like others have suggested, I would pop a dummy in and get some white noise going. Stick the hoover on and check her reaction. My son was a nightmare like this too, wouldn't stop crying until he had a dummy or the car moved again. He's now 14 and sleeps so well. His sleeping changed overnight when his little sister arrived when he was 3. It's bloody tough, you aren't alone. Please try the white noise and dummy, for your sanity. Either that or it's hunger/teething.

Abbyant · 31/01/2024 16:23

have you tried wearing them as I’ve seen you mention they like being in the pram or a rocking chair something to simulate the movement, I know what it’s like hitting your breaking point we’re nothing seems to work and you’ve spent all day rocking them. It will pass eventually you’ll find something that will stop the crying I learned with dd that she had colic and doing the bicycle motion eased her pain and then with ds he was always hungry so I switched him to hungry baby formula to fill him up more.

Crunchymum · 31/01/2024 16:26

Are you weaning yet?

What milk does she have?

Have you spoken to HV?

Sorry's it's probably already been asked (I did search the OP and couldn't see answers though)

seasaltbarbie · 31/01/2024 16:26

We all feel horrendous after losing the plot, don’t beat yourself up everyone does it. You’ve done your best and putting them down so you can have a meltdown is needed, you need to release your emotions too. It’s so hard, I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old and these days are just a battle from start to finish, not that there’s any finish because your up in the night with them too. I’m just hoping for better days to come myself. And I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one that feels this way. It’s just hard nothing about it is easy. Hope you manage to get a break soon, lots of love to you, your doing your best and you can’t do more than that you’re a human who has needs too, and at this stage our needs are just not met because we are constantly preoccupied with kids. It’s so frustrating sometimes. I hear you.

BuntyMcHooves · 31/01/2024 16:27

Please get help - it’s not normal for a baby to cry relentlessly. I am a cranial osteopath, I promise you can get help from this. If you search on the General Osteopathic Council website for an osteopath near you. Check websites for someone who treats a lot of babies. Baby reflexology is also very good. And I would suggest seeing a lactation consultant - they are the only people actually qualified to diagnose feeding issues such as tongue tie.
In the meantime, have you tried baby probiotics or anything like infacol? They might help.

Ulysees · 31/01/2024 16:40

@BuntyMcHooves I recommended this on this thread. It's amazing.

ArabellaScott · 31/01/2024 16:42

yep, cranial osteopath really helped my LO. The difference was incredible.

Ulysees · 31/01/2024 16:53

My youngest (now adult) went through a toddler stage of screaming. He was speech delayed. After 1 session with a cranial osteopath I noticed a difference. After 3 it was astounding. Pre school asked if he was medicated 🤣 They even jotted it down to recommend to others. They couldn't believe the difference. He's a strapping young working man now.