To think this is probably the worst mistake ever

[Justbreakingnow]

I know, it’s not forever, but does anyone enjoy this? Memories become hazy over the years and it’s easy to remember the baby days as this lovely simple time. Mine just cries and cries relentlessly. Won’t feed and won’t really interact with anything.

So I’ve just lost it. I’ve screamed and screamed and put the baby somewhere I can’t hear and I don’t care. It feels a bit like -
well, I’ve tried all day to comfort and got nowhere so is there actually any point? I’m miserable and I can’t see forwards.

Is she putting on weight normally? Arching back and screaming can often mean hungry but you’ve said she’s not really feeding much. Could there be a problem? Have you started weaning yet?

good luck

My daughter was a throughly miserable baby…. and cried pretty much non stop. I found putting her in a sling at home massively helped and she liked her swinging chair too. It’s also hard when the weather is crap and you don’t feel like going out but I would put her in her buggy after lunch / a feed and go for a long walk and she would eventually fall asleep. It seemed relentless but it will pass! I used to be desperate for my DH to come from work.

I hated the early days. Was both boring but relentless at the same time.
I get what you mean about having no-one to call. When I had DD (my first and only) EVERYONE I knew worked. It was pre-covid so actually at work. Was lonely.
Found the local children's centre a life-saver.
Found DD had more personality from about 8 months.
She's a teenager now and much more fun to be around.

I also went back to work when he was 3 months old because I couldn’t take any more. It worked out fine … just a suggestion.
Massive guilt but the professionals did it better than me and allowed me to parent him how I and he benefitted from.

I realise everyone’s different though.

@HarrietTheFireStarter I get that. Just mean sometimes just taking five min to yourself will help you calm down.

I had one of these. She had reflux and screamed for 18 hours a day for months. She never slept for much more than 45 mins at a time - also for months. I ended up in hospital with a quinsy caused by being so utterly run down.

The ONLY things that helped were driving in the car (obviously not always an option and certainly not for 18 hours a day) and White Noise to a degree. When desperate, I used to shut her in the room with a horrendous recording of White Noise blasting and she would stop for a bit.

If you have ascertained that there is nothing wrong, I would suggest AirPods on Noise Cancelling mode and a sling. And then in a room with white noise when you need a break.

IT WILL END. I PROMISE. But utmost sympathy in the meantime.

Oh and DD was a 'snacker' too. 30mls at a time but often. At 6 months went onto the odd bit of baby rice and then we did mixture of baby led weaning and purees.

I've just read OP's posts only and my heart goes out to her. Now before I start let me explain that I am not a mum. I am an auntie to five and I was the person each of their parents gave screaming child to when I'd visit. I was clueless!

Out in the car, silence, out for a walk, silence, back home scream, scream, scream. No one could figure it out. No reflux, not anything medical, all checked so it was hard on the parents but I was OK because I could hand them back.

I discovered (maybe has already been said) that putting baby in pram and leaving it beside the washing machine while it was on worked. Sleeeep! I got a CD (yes it was a long time ago) of white noise for the parents, and it worked more than it didn't IYSWIM, but was not foolproof either.

I am in awe of parents of constantly crying babies. I don't know what I'd do. Bear in mind that looking after the N+Ns was a finite thing. I could go home, but I suppose it did give the parents a little break now and then. I understand the point about OP not having anyone nearby. So sorry for your exhaustion and frustration. All the best.

Wanted to say the same thing, how old is your baby @Justbreakingnow could it be colic/reflux?

Sending you lots of love! I've been there too, it's so tough 🩷

Oh god, I was there. He's a very happy 5 year old now, but he cried all the time as a baby, day in day out and it was torture. I only felt better when he went to nursery and I went back to work. Noise cancelling earphones?

Sounds like GF has FOMO. I had so many of those thoughts and feeling during the first year and remember that feeling of I have nothing to give. Sometimes when there was no one to hand to give me a break I’d put the TV on and a cartoon and bubba would be mesmerised and quiet (I was told it’s a terrible idea but hey I had to do what I had to do).

Oh and my GP was useless. I hope yours is more helpful!

Friend of mine had a baby that never stopped screaming and it turned out that the baby had some kind of dietary intolerance. May be worth getting screened.

i feel for you, OP. Must be awful to listen to

My dd was a awful baby, cried almost all the time but sadly didn’t like the car or the pram so I had no way of really shutting her up, she hated anyone looking at her, touching her or breathing near her. She’s now 19 and we laugh about what a horrible baby she was. Dd was diagnosed high functioning autistic at the age of 4, she was always very bright and I think around the 6 month mark she was at her worst because she wanted to be doing more then a 6 month old is capable of, being a baby and not being able to move around is frustrating. We bought a door bouncer and it was a game changer, I could managed to wash up and do the house work whilst she was in it.

The first year was just awful with her but now it seems like nothing. I soon forgot and had another dc…….who was the total opposite of her sister, totally chilled out and rarely made a sound.

It can be tough when you have a baby that cries a lot. I used to put my eldest in the cot and sit outside where I couldn’t hear her - she was so vocal! She is 32 now and has lived to tell the tale.
Also it’s important to get out- is there a mother and baby group you can go to. Check with your local library they should have details.

@Makeitmakesensetoday

Hire a nanny 🙄 how very mumsnet

I literally thought the same as you!

My 2.7 year old is like this. He has a speech assessment tomorrow as I've just gave birth to my third and the midwife referred him as she witnessed the extent of the screaming

My first was like that too.. grew out of it by 4.

My third is a complete different baby, and I get guilty because I enjoy him so much where as I feel dead when looking after the other two since they was born due to the relentless screaming :(

I realise it’s less common but DS had severe reflux start at 6 months. Is she sick at all? He was an absolute nightmare.

Hello, thoughts with you, I nearly had a breakdown with mine! You mention she likes motion/to be in a moving pram - you could try a rockit, you attach it to the pram and it sort of pulses/vibrates the pram and that worked (for periods) with mine, if he was settled in the pram walking I'd turn it on while walking then bring pram in the house and leave him in it with it on while I had a break, before that he would wake/be restless the second the pram stopped moving which would drive me stir crazy!

Is she still having plenty of wet nappies, OP?

Ive had a baby just like like yours! It’s so, so hard. I have no advice because I know that you’d have tried everything and nothing works. My daughter is now 18 months so a year older than yours and I also remember a golden period of 3-5 months!

In my experience, I’ve found that she goes through phases of being so awfully difficult. I’ve had to leave her in her cot to scream and cry into my pillow so many times. It’s relentless. BUT, she does have periods of being a lovely, happy, smiley girl. The older she gets the more often she’s happy, but she definitely still has her awful phases. I’m just hoping this trend will continue!

Also to add that I also have an older child who was just a dream! So they’re definitely not all like it. If she’s your first, please don’t allow people to offer you the most basic advice that you’ve tried a million times and make you feel like a failure when it doesn’t work. Some babies respond to their advice. Our babies don’t. Just give it time and you’ll get there. It’s hard, so hard. But you can do it!

I would immediately make an appointment with the GP regarding reflux. It can just start, it's irrelevant it's not been constant (you describe the inconsolable periods as intermittent, which rings even more reflux bells). The arching of the back is a massive red flag for pain,.as is only settling when on the move. Good luck!

Sorry not helpful but I’d have been seriously tempted to go back to work early if mine were that bad. And my middle child cried a lot, some days I did the same and just left him in a safe place. He was finally diagnosed age 2 with cows milk protein allergy, which explained a lot. He’s been an ideal child ever since, he’s 19 now at Uni and he’s honestly never given me a days concern since he hit 2. I know that doesn’t help right now but like you said earlier, nothing I’d forever

Op I really feel for you babies are hard work and tiring at the best of times never mind relentless crying which is a unique form of torture. You definitely did the right thing by putting her somewhere safe and giving yourself a break to try and clear your head.

It's quite rare for babies to be lactose intolerant but mines is and this was how I felt she would even manage to scream while drinking who knew that was possible.

The only recommendation I have is adjustable noise cancelling head phones and popping her somewhere safe like you have already done when you need a break.

Have you tried white noise? Mine used to shush when I switched the hairdryer on. Just something to try. Sending a LOT of positive vibes - remember it well. I have a perfectly lovely fifteen year old now if that helps.