Does a mother's jewelry traditionally pass to daughters or daughters & DILs?

[DeathNote11]

Looking for opinions & experiences please.

What's the etiquette/norm when no instructions are left due to the death being sudden? Does jewellery usually go to the daughters only, or an equal split between daughters and DILs? No high value items. I'm expected to make a decision on distribution, I always thought it went to daughters but the 2 DILs are up in arms. The 2 daughters are too distraught to give an opinion. DILs both have mothers of their own & there was no special relationship between them & my friend.

YABU - Daughters & DILs is the norm
YANBU - Daughters is the norm

My mum's went between daughters, 1 piece to granddaughters, 1 piece to her sisters and 1 piece to DIL. No instructions left, we decided as sisters. DIL would have been close to DM though.

Is there a will? If it states that the estate is to be shared equally between the chikdren that applies to everything afaik, so jewellery too. What happened with the father's watches etc is irrelevant, he had to foresight to specifically dictate what he wanted to happen, shame the mother didn't think to do the same.

My Nana's came to me and her other granddaughter, I picked a couple of rings and left what was left for my cousin.

My mum was quite put out because she, "might have wanted to give some to my granddaughters" but it was her MIL not her mother so my aunt bypassed her.

But as I have no children they will get it eventually.

My brother got my grandad's war medals and I have no idea what my male cousins got.

Then even more so, definitely tell the dil to fuck right off.

Forgive the impertinent question, @DeathNote11 but how much is it worth? There's a tremendous difference regarding distribution between jewellery worth £2k and jewellery worth £20k or more. If high values are involved there will be an IHT impact which will be charged to the estate overall.

I voted YANBU, although I actually inherited a lot from my own MIL, (no daughters, and I am the mother of all the granddaughters).

My ex was very keen to get it all back when we separated, apparently for safe keeping: but actually not.

Daughters get first dibs especially as the brothers got jewellery from their dad

I would like my DD to have most of my jewellery, but my DIL to have a few of the pieces as I love her like my own DD.

We are all family and it's about my relationship with them and theirs with me, rather than 'who's entitled'

I think daughter’s and granddaughters personally over DIL’s. I think it’s awful of them to be ‘up in arms’ when the daughters are grieving. It’s to the executor to distribute and I don’t get why they’d be kicking off when this lady had daughters whom I’m sure she would want her jewellery to go to.

The DILs also have to pipe down.

When my grandma (paternal) passed; my mother kept her valuable jewellery… she gave me an item and kept the Rest! I felt it was unfair and even wrote a post about it…
I have resigned myself to knowing one day it will likely come my way. But it did sting.. especially as my mother never really liked her either and they weren’t very close. My gut instinct is that it should pass to daughters (she didn’t have any) or granddaughters, (of which I am the only one!).

I was the only daughter and the mother of the only grandchildren. My mum left her jewellery to me. SIL was put out until I pointed out that DB had inherited all of the household contents and 50% of the sale of the house. The other 50% went into trust for my kids and the value of the jewellery was neither sentimental or financial. It was mostly junk, with a couple of hideous 80’s style pieces worth maybe $200 AUD in total. (Less than a Pandora bracelet is worth with charms)

Daughters. I’d be raging if my mum’s jewellery were given to my sil, even though I really like her. She has her own mum from whom she’ll inherit.

My mum’s (low value) jewellery will go to me and my sister. If my brother wants to give his partner a piece then he can but it wouldn’t go directly to her, only via my brother.

The OP said no written instruction due to death being sudden
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So the son has already inherited via the deceased father and the daughter got nothing of his. Then the mother's jewellery should go to the daughter(s) and the DILs should butt out. It's nothing to do with them.

Why on earth should DILs get anything? DH did get one bracelet of his mother's but that's his (he will eventually pass it on to our daughter). I would never expect to use it as it has sentimental value to him but none to me (I never met his mother).

Daughters and granddaughters definitely.

Just say to the DILs...."fine, looking forward to one of your mums rings or bracelets when she's gone"

How dare they. Ignore them!

My mother's jewellery was split between her daughters and a piece each for granddaughters.

I would have said DILs.

DILs are ‘up in arms’? Classy.

Traditionally they get nothing. So give them nothing, especially in light of their grasping behaviour after a woman’s death.

It passes through the female line unless there are specific bequests. This keeps it in the family.

Daughters. As PP said, D'iL's will inherit from their own mothers.

I’ve inherited jewellery from both grandmas. I think it’s really grabby of the DILs!! It’s not something they should be ‘up in arms’ about, how bloody rude!
I think my MIL will possibly leave any jewellery to her only granddaughter - neither of us DILs are expecting jewellery, and I for one am very very close to her - she’s like my own mum.

I’ll make sure to specify in my own will now for the avoidance of any doubt.

People who are up in arms get fuck all. That's awful. If their husbands got watches from their father, that's the end of the matter.