To not want to be sat near loud cackling women

[Ferretmad2]

What is it with groups of loud, cackling women these days? Third time I’ve eaten out recently and next to a table full of shouty, cackling women who seem to be in a contest of who can cackle the loudest. Doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s a posh place or not. I’m fed up of having to be sat near them whilst waiting for my food. Can’t move as we are in a table of 7. My three autistic children are completely silent! Feel like following my eldest child’s example and getting noise cancelling AirPods.

Other people have different types of laughs.

@RampantIvy I haven't missed any point at all. You are making a completely made up distinction between joyful laughter and shrieking laughter.

Maybe you haven't been around enough joyful laughter to tell the difference.

Exactly, but you said

I think some posters have forgotten what it's like to belly laugh and find something hilarious. Maybe you haven't cracked more than a smile in 10 years with your DH or whoever you go out with. I hope you gain /regain the ability some day.

You can find something hilarious without shrieking and cackling.

They do, and in some instances said laugh can be very loud, over the top and irritating to others nearby.

Ok I'm off the thread, I've made my points enough times.

If you want to police how women laugh, entirely up to you. I will carry on laughing fully and loudly when I am out, as that is what is natural for me. You carry on doing...whatever it is you do.

No - the loudness FFS

And you seem to be willfully missing the points several others have made in your quest to be offended. Some folk, both men and women, are naturally incredibly loud and have zero self awareness in recognising this fact. Sitting near to said loud people in a pub, restaurant, train carriage, office etc can be distracting at best or very irritating at worse. It is no 'policing' to point this fact out.

Why are you comparing grown adults who should know better to children who are often still learning manners and how loud they can/should be in public places?

Op I know what you mean. I go to these lunches with the cackling woman and pray they get a sore throat and shut up. Some people are just overly loud for no reason. It's rude having zero consideration for others around you. I find it embarrassing.

@Iwasafool
'OK you don't understand so let's try again. We have been repeatedly called miserable if we object to listening to other people enjoying themselves..'

How is it possible to be THAT patronising and that wrong at the same time. A drunk man swearing on a train and being disgusting about his sexual escapades if OFFENSIVE behaviour and actually a chargeable offence. So of course anyone would be justified in finding this behaviour abhorrent, whether he was 'enjoying' himself or not. This is utterly socially unacceptable.
Women laughing too loudly for the likes of an individual is NOT offensive behaviour (perhaps unintentionally inconsiderate) and not a chargeable offence. NOT utterly socially unacceptable behaviour.
So we have a potentially criminal daytime public transport perv Vs loud evening socialising friends.

If you honestly can't distinguish the enormous difference between the two actions and what are reasonable reactions to them, perhaps it is you who should try to 'understand.'

I'm 100% with you OP. Call it what everybody likes (I use the same word because it reflects exactly the sound), but it's a very very unpleasant noise. It makes my adrenaline levels raise every time and I come out more stressed than a full day with a full class of kids.

No doubt I am especially sensitive to it, as indeed, some people are more sensitive to things than others, but Gosh does it affect my enjoyment of the evening.

Copen
Full horror' 'indefensible'. You know we are just talking about women laughing, right?

No, Copen - I really do think you're on a wind-up now!

You know very well NO-ONE here is objecting to women laughing.

Cackling, screaming, shrieking, yelling are what people are objecting to. Are you really suggesting anyone minds someone chatting and laughing near them? Of course you're not. Let's at least be honest here.

It's not just normal conversational sound levels - it's out-of-control sound levels, and actually can be physically painful to others (I know!!). Totally OTT. - and actually, performative. 'We're wild women, and we know how to party!'

There's a tactic being used here by PPs opposing the OP's point. It's trying to suggest that women who behave like this are being judged morally, or summat. Actually, I could not care less what other women choose to do in the way of having fun...I just care that they're not disturbing me, hurting my eardrums, stopping me hearing my group's conversation and generally creating a stressful atmosphere around me.

If people want to behave like this, go ahead - in your own homes, or somewhere where you won't impact others. Simples.

You are SO right. Women should be quiet (unless answering a man’s questions) and pliant, and demure. If they MUST leave the house they should go to a cafe with a friend and quietly sip tea, and rather than talk just muse and sigh sweetly in one another’s company

People are just noisy. You can't even get any peace in a coffee shop or a quiet train carriage, without someone nearby bellowing into a mobile phone.

Also why are people pretending this isn’t massively sexist and that it’s just about being loud. That’s BS. Only women were mentioned in the OP.

I go out often and have never heard a group of women cackle. I’d love to hear it though as long as it’s a proper old school Shakespearean cackle.

As an aside I’m sure the concept of women being friends and having a good time with one another outside of their relationships with men, is explored in the Handmaids Tale as being highly suspicious and sinful. Threads like this make me think of that - that people have a serious problem with women gathering together and enjoying themselves

Your experience is simply your experience. Just as my experience is my experience. One doesn't supersede the other. I have seen rowdy men and women being removed by staff on multiple occasions, for fear of loosing customers or escalating behaviour.

Another one completely missing the point.

Do you not think some people might simply find it annoying to listen to the loud hooting laughter of strangers in an enclosed space? I did have a think about why the OP immediately resonates with me... Is it because I'm miserable, is it because I'm sexist? Actually, I think it's because the places I go tend not to be frequented by groups of men, so the loud annoying groups are women. And I have a pretty low sensory tolerance for noisy groups - it sets my nerves on edge. Life would be easier if I didn't notice, but I do.

I like to have a good time as much as anyone but would be mortified if I were in a group making that much noise indoors while other people try to eat. I don't think the answer is that people like me should stay at home flagellating ourselves with copies of The Handmaid's Tale while noisy people merrily rampage.

Why is it horrible, I'm sure the op would have had a gripe if it was a load of men hurting her eardrums, but because it was women it's horrible? How dare she criticise women and use that word "cackling" Talk about double standards.🤔

I was in an otherwise quietish cafe the other day. Just two other customers sitting upstairs, who were yelling a conversation at each other.

Bloke: SOMETHING OR OTHER ABOUT SOME OTHER BLOKE DOING SPORT

Woman: YEAHYEAHYEAHYESHYEAH!!
MORE STUFF ABOUT SAID BLOKE

Bloke: YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH!!
MORE OF THE SAME

Woman: YEAHYEAHYEAH!!
…

Went on like this for the half hour I was there. At one point they moved on and the woman was talking about being in contact with work when you’re not in the office. Took all my self control not to suggest she could probably just shout to her colleagues.

Just bore off and buy your airpods already.

Also, I find it inherently sexist to suggest (as some PPs do) that women aren't somehow allowed to criticise women. What???

Now that is bonkers. But I guess the main reason for the deflection and pretending not to understand OP's point is that here we have the very people who spoil social occasions (restaurants, theatre, shows) for other people having a go at justifying themselves because 'women shouldn't criticise women'.

OK...

Yes but it is a restaurant, not a nightclub or a bar.