To be pissed off the cake was cut before DE saw it?

[Ruinedcake]

DSrecently turned 3, and I had a party for him. I’m not very good at baking so paid for a local cake maker to bake a cake which tied in with his favourite colours and interests. As you can imagine, it wasn’t cheap.

The actual party went well but as the children were sitting eating DH and FIL started flapping around saying that they needed to cut the cake. I was trying to stop them but both are very difficult to distract when they get an idea in their heads, and I was also contending with various other things. So to cut a long story short they both cut it before DS has a chance to look at it.

I know it doesn’t ’matter’ really but I am annoyed.

Make a mental note not to ask for FIL’s help next year.
Your h is a wally for cutting up the cake before his son saw it. He’s also a wally for flapping -why??

Personally I cut up a cheaper cake for party bags and take the expensive cake home. That way if you’re too busy to cut at the party then it’s not a big deal.

It is sad that he didn’t get to blow out candles. Did you at least do it at home ?

Aww so sorry for your little boy. Did you get any photos of it before they destroyed it?

This (sorry).

The reason everybody is getting so weird on this thread is that it blows the idea somebody has 'a DH problem, not a MIL/FIL problem' out of the water.

Actually, it took the two of them to tango, and this presents a slightly more complex dynamic than that usually presumed on this thread.

OP, is this the first time that either your DH, FIL (or other member of his family) have created an odd, unecessary disruption, or prevented your plans from being executed, or stopped you getting what you wanted? Did those events also have plausible deniability, as it was a trivial point or something they could claim they 'didn't know', or 'didn't understand'? You should reflect on that rather than ask MN for an opinion over a single incident with ILs, which is going to get derailed by some very odd projection I'm afraid.

This is a classic case of weaponised incompetence imo.

The question is:

Does it matter to your son?

If not, no bother! All is well!

Or one no.3 candle, even less of a fire risk.

Next year you get a Large Colin the Caterpillar cake, stick the candles in and let DS blow spit all over it, that gets kept for family later. The arty children get the Colin caterpillar mini rolls in their party bag, no mess no fuss, no cutting and no arguing over who gets the head or feet.

Did you at least take a picture of the cake before it was cut?

This. Why the heck would you spend a lot on a 3 year old’s party? They don’t remember it, it’s more for the adults. It’s not a milestone birthday is it?

Well, I sometimes do nice things for them they won’t remember because they enjoy it then

Did you at least take a picture of the cake before it was cut?

Ok so a similar thing happened to me some years ago. I booked a soft play party for my DD’s 5th birthday party. All the kiddies were sat eating the buffet and the manager called me over to say that there was a problem and the cake had already been cut before we had sang happy birthday!!!. The cake was a three tier Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory. It cost a lot of money but they agreed that they were in the wrong and refunded me the whole cake price. You’re deffo not being unreasonable

BTW, my 6 yo absolutely remembers his 3rd birthday party and the cake, and would occassionally become tearful for a year afterwards remembering all his friends singing Happy Birthday to him, when his cake was brought out. He has based his requests for all future birthdays on this structure.

I struggle to believe that he won't remember any of it it in a few years tbh.

Out of interest, what was your response to them cutting the cake that you went to the trouble to order and sort out after you told them to wait? I’m asking because rightly or wrongly the very thought of my response would stop my DH in his tracks.

This is an incredibly helpful example that exemplifies how much weird back-bending is done on these threads once a misbehaving IL is mentioned.

A business didn't even quibble that it was a cock-up.

😀

What would your response be?

Honest question, because many people here have never had their DH ignore them and seem to know exactly what to say in any and all situations, but the OP clearly hasn't womaned hard enough (in some way) over this matter. What should she have said and done in this situation?

Well, as long as all the 3-yr olds passed their cake safety exams, that's what matters.

Were they cutting it for party bags? Trick is to have 2 cakes, one cheap one to serve to children/ party bags. Expensive one for photos and eating at home

That really isn’t the question. The question is “does it matter to the person who went to the trouble of ordering a cake from a local baker?” I bet you DH and DFIL had fuck all to do with the cake until it came to the cake cutting but still decided to forge ahead because their wants are clearly more important than OP’s.

I think you are all a bit odd.

My two kids had the appropriate number of candles on their cake every year from being 1. As adults you have one person carrying the cake, one right next to the birthday child ensuring all is well. It is VERY overly cautious. I hope that you aren't cautious generally around/about him.

That aside, your DH and his dad were even more odd. Didn't your DH want his son to have the joy of seeing his own cake? Why didn't he get that and what did he say afterwards when I presume you got angry/upset?

Nothing that can be done this time, but I would tell both of them that if they ever do that again, you will be using the cake knife to cut off their balls!!!

Dickheads!!

I agreed her husband was an idiot. And you were judging her relationship, glad we’ve cleared that up too.

I’ve got the message I’m odd 👍🏻

Its hurtful but do keep saying it as I haven’t quite got the message yet.

I was trying to stop them but both are very difficult to distract when they get an idea in their heads

This sounds weird. How does it normally look?

Also what is going on? It doesn’t matter what threads are about at the moment, posters are falling all over themselves to be twats to every OP going. Is everyone unhappy and skint because January?