To be pissed off the cake was cut before DE saw it?

[Ruinedcake]

DSrecently turned 3, and I had a party for him. I’m not very good at baking so paid for a local cake maker to bake a cake which tied in with his favourite colours and interests. As you can imagine, it wasn’t cheap.

The actual party went well but as the children were sitting eating DH and FIL started flapping around saying that they needed to cut the cake. I was trying to stop them but both are very difficult to distract when they get an idea in their heads, and I was also contending with various other things. So to cut a long story short they both cut it before DS has a chance to look at it.

I know it doesn’t ’matter’ really but I am annoyed.

OP, we don’t do candles, not because I think there’s a risk but because my dc do 🤣, both are autistic and both for some reason are petrified of fire. They are now teens and can just about tolerate it.

I would be pissed off about the cake though, we always take a photo of the child with the cake before cutting. Anyway, I hope it tasted amazing.

You are right to be annoyed.
they were thinking of themselves and not the 3 year old who might have liked to see his cake.

I think I would have been so enraged that I would have shouted at both of them mid party and asked WHAT THE F*CK WERE THEY DOING. Even if children were there or not.

I would get dh a birthday cake on his birthday. Tell him you have got him one and serve it to dc and yourself before he gets home and serve him the crumbs

I would want to know why they thought the cake needed cutting before Happy Birthday was sang or ds had seen it

That's OTT bonkers

Well it won’t happen next year will it????

They all sound like complete idiots. You are going to have to be in charge from now on.

They wouldn't have cut the cake if candles had been on it. You should be able to cope with the risk of burning candles - and only three candles at that.

The candle issue is irrelevant.

The child should have been able to look at his cake before it was cut up, the OP had ordered a cake especially because it would delight him.

Cost also irrelevant: had the OP bought Colin the child should also have been able to see it and enjoy it and have HB sung before it was cut!

HP should have been sung before the cake was cut - irrespective of candle issue.

And your DH and FIL had no business cutting it when you had said 'not yet'.

I would be really annoyed.

I think the bigger issue here is that your DH and his dad seem to have no respect for you.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be "needlessly rude". I was being light hearted as I thought it was a light hearted thread.

For the cakes safety stick candles in it and they’ll know not to cut it

Two adults flapping about cutting a cake?

That's odd!

Since there were no candles though they perhaps thought it was just as easy to cut it & bring the slices in for the kids to have whilst they were eating thee other food?

Odd to be so hell bent on it that they wouldn't/couldn't stop!

I think it’s weird of them, and they had better stop because ds will know it’s weird in a few short years. Next bday party tell Dh fil isn’t invited because it’s enough work for you to stop him cutting the cake early and you can’t stop both of them. And make him run around doing other things so he isn’t allowed near the cake.

To be honest this is a conversation you need to have with your husband.

Tell them it was not their party or cake but were more childish than the 3 year olds!
AND that they spoiled the day for you who no doubt did all the work - it was YOUR place to cut cake!
They should have mind their own business!

I’d be annoyed too. Two fools who have no idea, barging in and carrying on regardless even though they’ve been asked not to. A friend’s partner did similar. The cake was waiting on the side, all ready to be carried in to the Birthday Child as Happy Birthday was being sung, and when the friend went to put the candles on she found the dimwit had cut it all into chunks and basically destroyed it.

Next time hide the knives and give your DH and FIL jobs that keep them away from it.

I would have been beyond fuming about this and would very likely have spoiled the party for everyone by being unable to hide it. Although if I knew they get ideas into their heads would have been totally clear in a way that could not be misunderstood that they must NOT cut the cake before DS and everyone else had seen it.

Why don't your Husband and his father listen to you?

I'm a bit mystified by two adults who don't know that the birthday person has their cake presented to them.
How were they flapping about a cake?
All sounds a bit odd

OP ignore the posters who are clearly so Miss Trunchbull like no one would ever defy them.

I'm so picturing you managing the party and wrangling the kids while DH and FIL just stood in the corner doing sweet FA except eyeing up the cake

Are you going to say something to him?

Maybe show him some videos of birthday parties with children blowing out candles on WHOLE cakes in time for next year.

Yeah because women who have husbands who listen to them must be horrible and scary. It can’t possibly be that they are in a healthy relationship with mutual respect can it? 🙄

@Codlingmoths

No good trying to give them other jobs when they are fixated on cutting cake! Unless they are extremely 'helpful Henrys' they will be fussy in what jobs to do! The lady will just have to stand guard next time!

You don’t no that OPs relationship isn’t healthy and lacks respect because a guy got overwhelmed at a 3 year olds party and didn’t listen to his wife on one thing. He was an idiot but he clearly thought he’d just get ahead and cut the cake and didn’t think about what actually needed doing properly. But of course he didn’t obey on one thing so their whole relationship must be crap. Must be nice for you having a perfect relationship.

What has dh said when you asked him why he ignored you when you asked him not to do that?

I agree with this. Surely everyone knows you sing happy birthday, blow out candles and then cut the cake?

What were they flapping about?