To be pissed off the cake was cut before DE saw it?

[Ruinedcake]

DSrecently turned 3, and I had a party for him. I’m not very good at baking so paid for a local cake maker to bake a cake which tied in with his favourite colours and interests. As you can imagine, it wasn’t cheap.

The actual party went well but as the children were sitting eating DH and FIL started flapping around saying that they needed to cut the cake. I was trying to stop them but both are very difficult to distract when they get an idea in their heads, and I was also contending with various other things. So to cut a long story short they both cut it before DS has a chance to look at it.

I know it doesn’t ’matter’ really but I am annoyed.

If you can hire a private therapist that charges a minimum 200 quid/hour within the next 72 hours, your child might be able to be helped through this difficult tragedy of missing out on candle blowing out. It will be a long road, taking many, many years, but with diligence and hard work, he will come through the other side with only minimum personality damages from his "not given candle-blowing opportunity". Perhaps celebrate the occasion with a larger than life cake with 20K candles on it for him to blow out? 😉

Yea for you! And yes, total CFer!

The "problem" here is that you are not understanding the severity of this situation. If you deprive your precious child of a candle-blow out opportunity, what is next? Are you going to remove those mattress tags that explicitly say not to remove? Are you going to wash an item that says "warm wash" in cold? Where will the depravity stop? Do you plan to disobey other societal rules and laws?

I think, to be fair and just, some punishment is deserved here. If I was a judge, this would be my "justice" for you:

#1--Purchase a full-sized working fire truck for your son. It may not totally make up for missing out on candles, but it IS a start.

#2--Purchase a chalkboard, the size they use in schools. Buy a lot of chalk (but give me a heads-up so I can buy stock in the chalk makers). Then write 50 quadrillion times, "I will not let my child miss out on anymore candle-blowing on his birthday or other appropriate occasions".

#3--Send one trillion dollars to your most local birthday candle factories.

After those are completed, you may do #4.

#4--Sit back, put your feet up, have a drink and say "fuck it all".

If you are so inclined, you may also skip steps #1-3 and go directly to #4.

I hope you are now suitably chastened.

Forgot the candles?? WHAT?? The whole party would need to be rescheduled! The birthday boy's birth certificate would need to be altered to the NEW party date and everyone would be tasked to bring at least 200 birthday candles, so there would be enough, in case a few dropped or refused to light or just for shits and giggles to see how many would do it.

Oh, and DH and FIL would be tied to chairs until it was the correct time to cut the cake. Or after the party. Whatever. 😉

So a 3yo child's life is destroyed because the cake was cut before they saw it but not because there was no candles

To me the tradition is light the candles, sing happy birthday, blows out candles then cake gets cut, children then squish the cake and run around so much no one really eat it except the adults thinking 'when can we go home I need a rest' (I was going to say stiff drink but thought the internet might explode)

I truly believe that the world would be in much better order if there were more cake-eating opportunities.

A perfect cake can make a lot of your problems disappear. Well, until you are done eating it at least, which brings me back to we need more cake-eating opportunities!

Except the OP never said her DS's life was destroyed. She was annoyed and upset that he didn't get to see the cake and have Happy Birthday sung to him while the cake was whole.

To me the tradition is light the candles, put your wedding ring around one of the candles for luck, sing Happy Birthday, blow out the candles. The candles relight themselves so you blow them out again. They relight themselves, again. Rinse and repeat until candles are gone or the birthday person gets smart and removes them to the sink. Eat cake. Open presents. Eat more cake. Clean up the mess. Cleaner-upper/host/hostess eats more cake. Everyone goes home. Cleaner-upper/host/hostess takes Pepto and wonders why they have a stomach-ache. Still eats more cake.

You writing the words, "stiff drink", made my computer scream obscenities. Be ashamed. 😉

I feel like you keep missing the fact that the birthday boy didn't get to SEE the cake, so won't be able to remember it referenced his interests.

Literally no need for them to say pathetic, please ignore the nastiness. I agree it's over the top re candles but my sister is the same, as are lots and just because you don't agree with something doesn't mean you have to be so nasty to the OP about it . I too hate this place and so wonder what's wrong with people, I guess just miserable old so and so's with sad lives

What is the point of spending a fortune on a birthday cake if no one is going to see it and you are just going to cut it up and serve it. Might as well save your money and buy a supermarket Victoria sponge

It's exactly this.

I think I've managed by heading of helpfulness which makes more work for me or putting less effort in.

I did think last lot of birthdays that I've been worn down to bare minimum and it's been years since I even tried baking a birthday cake and I've got an interested in baking teen.

You are not wierd and the 2 men were gormless!!

No candles because fire hazard? YABVU
And yes cutting the cake before singing Happy Birthday is madness
Try to fix both of these things for next year!

Op I'd be annoyed at that too. But it would probably then turned into family story to tell my child for evermore. The day daddy forgot to show the cake to the waiting guests. However , cutting the cake and wrapping for party bags is a logistical nightmare at a busy party so I can see how they focused on this in the heat of the moment .

I always had a stunt double birthday cake. One for the candles & “happy birthday” & the other already cut up, wrapped & in the party bags.

What a pair of cockwombles; I’d give your old man a bloody good earful he can’t honestly be that drippy surely he knows you sing happy birthday to the child let them blow out the candles & then cut the cake.

Tbf my husband wouldn't ignore me either. Mainly out of respect for me, so in this situation he wouldn't cut the cake as I'd requested it. Also, tbh probably a little fear as I do speak my mind when someone pushes me

I'm guessing you're upset at your husband not showing you this respect

Either way, I hope your DS had a smashing birthday

I would have grabbed the largest knife in the kitchen and told them if they cut the cake, I would cut them. And I would have meant it. What arseholes.

You would seriously do that in front of a crowd of children mostly aged three and under and their parents?

And people reckon I’m the weird one

I think FIL needs to buy a replacement cake. It's not a birthday unless you have your photo blowing out candles on your cake!

Did you get any photos?

Even if he bought a new cake they wouldn’t get that though would they.

yes that’s right. Replacement cake. Reinvite guests. Gaslight the guests that that they have false memory syndrome and no,haven’t been to your son party at all

replacement cake,that’s a proportionate response

What. Candles. ???

No candles. Akin to Candle deniers convention, all welcome
Candle fans, jog on, nowt to see here

Really weird cutting the cake before happy birthday was even sung, it would have pissed me off too but expensive birthday cakes for toddlers are silly.