To be pissed off the cake was cut before DE saw it?

[Ruinedcake]

DSrecently turned 3, and I had a party for him. I’m not very good at baking so paid for a local cake maker to bake a cake which tied in with his favourite colours and interests. As you can imagine, it wasn’t cheap.

The actual party went well but as the children were sitting eating DH and FIL started flapping around saying that they needed to cut the cake. I was trying to stop them but both are very difficult to distract when they get an idea in their heads, and I was also contending with various other things. So to cut a long story short they both cut it before DS has a chance to look at it.

I know it doesn’t ’matter’ really but I am annoyed.

Because that's clearly not the sole point of a lot of cakes, otherwise cake decoration wouldn't be a thing. Some cakes are made to be admired and enjoyed visually as well.

Probably should have gone with a cheaper cake but I did want it to be nice 😭 (not saying a cheaper one wouldn’t have been.)

That was the approach I took in end - as if I baked or spent money GM both bought cakes and ours would get cut with no-one seeing or found fault with when I just bought one from supermarket it all stopped and I was less irritated anyway.

I agree. I was responding to the op saying the point of a cake was to eat.

You're not a weirdo, OP. It's a perfectly valid thing to be upset about and I can understand not wanting lit candles around small children - perhaps a bit over-cautious but entirely sensible.

It would probably be weird if you had run after your DH and FIL screaming with the cake knife in hand (as opposed to being mildly annoyed). That would have been weird. But I would have been tempted to, I would have been so put out by the arrogant idiots ignoring the woman who had organised and planned everything. So perhaps I'm weird too...

Some kids get overwhelmed, at their own party, don't like the singing, don't like candles, but if your child was of that ilk, you would have already pre planned it, or you react at the time, and tone it down?

Twat Dh cutting the cake pre the singing /candles, sounds dumb/selfish/unaware. How can you be married to such an idiot/plonk?

Apologies! I find this topic triggering - I spent ages lovingly decorating my DC's first and second birthday cakes (subsequent cakes have been shop-bought) and the point was very much not what it tasted like 😂.

Goodness me, if you're afraid of a birthday candle

The most unreasonable is that you didn't let your son blow out the three candles...that could have caused a disaster.
Dramatic or what 😂

So did your husband think that there would be no singing because there were no candles?

Did he realise that your so hadn't seen the cake?

I’d feel annoyed at DH and FIL too tbh, the joy of doing something special for somebody is seeing the reaction when you show them. I’d have also liked a picture and or video.

Id put it down to party stress / lack of thought and move on but keep it in mind for next year. One of the stresses of kids parties is that once you’ve done happy birthday you sometimes don’t have long to get the cake cut for putting on party bags etc., if it’s at a soft play etc., so perhaps they were stressing about that to give them benefit of the doubt - I get around that by having a cheap supermarket cake already cut up and in party bags. There is always next year. X

Try and find some way to humiliate DH in public. It is the only thing these vile creatures understand.

Oooh I like that idea! I’m doing that next time and taking the fancy chocolate one home to devour myself!

Did they play?

Then it was a party.

Pass-the-parcel isn't obligatory

THIS!!
Not sure why many are focussing on candles, and so-called weird attitudes.
It was your blooming cake. You thought of something your son would like, found a baker, commissioned and paid for it, and collected it - just so you could enjoy your son's enjoyment of a special cake.
There's nothing wrong with that and those two ruined it.

I was clearing the Christmas plates - despite being asked in-laws simply would not wait 5 minutes and started handing out MY presents to MY children before I could stop them, in a super fast frenzy too, so by the time I got there it was virtually over. It's so rude and not their gifts to give.

All I wanted in return for all the work was to enjoy watching my DC opening their presents.

Same with your cake I imagine.

@comeagainx if you're going to laugh at someone, at least make sense in your response.

You misunderstood. Accused me of being controlling and aggressive. I explained what I meant and yet you're still deliberately misunderstanding. You'll understand if I stop bothering to respond after this.

3 candles would not have caused a disaster

Please don't pass your chronic anxiety onto your child op. Seek counselling to address it.

Huh?

You had a very lovely party, happy guests and a special cake. That’s what matters
Not the precise time the cake was cut. it really isn’t a biggie
Your child is loved, they had a special cake that referenced their interest . That’s what they’ll remember not the specifics of cake being cut

YABU not have candles , kids have been having them on their cakes for years and as far as I’m aware, they’re rarely any disasters. Your DH and FIL are complete arses, I can’t understand why you couldn’t stop them.

I have a fire engine obsessed now 3 year old. He was absolutely fine blowing his candles out, he still talks about his party, the happy birthday song and blowing the candle out now 2 months later. I think your DH and FIL are dicks for cutting the cake but I also think if you hadn’t been so overly cautious and told them he needed to blow his candles out first then they possibly wouldn’t have cut it.

I was going to say they were unreasonable until I saw you weren't bothering with candles anyway. Not so exciting for him anyway without the whole blowing candles out part 🤷‍♀️

I can totally understand why you said no candles and though it's unusual, it's not without a reason.
Your DH and FIL had no reason at all to cut the cake before the happy birthday singing. If I was your party guest I would've thought that was really really weird of them and if my DH did this I would hit the roof! What does he say now when you've asked why he was so keen to get it cut before the grand reveal and singing?

Yep.

No cAnduls (got the two Ronnie's sketch in my head lol) on a birthday cake just bizarre.

YABU for this shocking omission OP.

I think people are confused as OP doesn’t seem bothered, she’s not going to do anything about it, yet posted it on here - why? Did you not talk to them afterwards and say what a nasty thing it was to do? I don’t understand why it’s just been shrugged off.