To think we should get the double room?

[Bibbidybobbidyroo]

We gave a family holiday booked this year - 2 adults in family 1 (my parents), two adults one child in family 2 (us).

My parents offered to pay for the cost of the accommodation as a kind gesture (they are financially better off). The accommodation has one master bedroom with a double bed, and three other twin bedrooms.

Our child has ASD and cosleeps as it’s the only way to guarantee any sort of sleep on what I fear is already going to be a trying week - first time abroad and a big routine change. I asked if we could the the double bed otherwise I’m going to end up squashed in a single with DD. They aren’t keen at ALL. Should probably mention my dad ends up falling asleep on the sofa and staying there all night anyway so my mum will mostly have the double bed to herself.

Im grateful that they paid for the villa but I feel like it’s coming with conditions that aren’t going to be very relaxing for us at all. I would have rather just paid our share and the felt like I could push for the bigger room more.

would you raise this again or just put up and shut up and accept the financial saving?

Move one of the mattresses of the twin beds to the floor of your room. Or your husband can sleep in one of the other twin rooms. There are three twin rooms. I don’t see the problem.

I don't think you should tiptoe around your dad in the living room. Once you and your child want to get up, then he should go to bed.

Btw, 2 single beds pushed together makes a bigger bed than a standard double so if this is doable, it might actually be better.

Take a superking fitted sheet to hold two single beds together, a king isn't wide enough You could also take a blanket or double duvet to go under the fitted sheet.

No but you're running the gauntlet of AIBU after all

I’d go one further and have 3 singles pushed together if the room is big enough. Then there’s enough room for you all to be comfortable if your DD is sleeping with you. Better than a double bed!

There’s plenty of single beds available if there are 3 twin rooms.

Great tip about the zip ties btw!

I certainly wouldn’t be moaning about my parents getting the ‘better’ room in this situation OP. Just make the best of it - why on earth let it ruin a holiday that you’re not even paying for!

@Bibbidybobbidyroo

You’re creating problems for yourself when there are none.

Pretty much every hol we have been on I’ve been in a room with DC (with several diagnoses) and it’s been twin beds pressed together…. Absolutely no issue.

Might get a sight gap of about an inch appearing but not sufficient that anyone would fall, solved with king sheet others suggested.

I know you have difficult circumstances and how hard it can be.

Equally if you have 3-6 months before the holiday you have time to at least try establishing a new routine, which you will need to do at some point anyway as she ages. It could be a good thing.

You asked for how to handle the situation. That is how I would handle it as a mother of a ND child.

Fucking hell! You really are hard work!

There's 3 other bedrooms to do as you want with, I'm sure you'll work something out.

Why would you want your mum to sleep in a single bed?

OP if you have the money, why don't you book a separate villa or apartment nearby and you can all have a bit of space and exacly the sleeping arrangements you prefer, and get to enjoy each other's company over nice meals or days out with no tension, resentment or poor sleep?
I sympathise with you btw.

Yep, this

Ahh, saw it's abroad, ask the accommodation to put 2 beds together and if they won't, take the extra single duvets from the spare room and put them across the two single beds widthways. Bring a cheap fitted king sized sheet, put this over the duvets and leave the sheet behind at the end of the holiday!

we used to do this holiday pretty regularly pre covid and they always got the master bedroom on the basis they were the oldest. Didn’t really care then - happy to have slept wherever

so basically there's a lng tradition of your parents - who are paying for this - to have the master bedroom. And now you're throwing your toys out of your pram?!

Thanks for the helpful practical advice - you are right that there’s some easy fixes here that will ensure we get some decent sleep and solves the problem.

i absolutely won’t be tip toeing round the communal areas so if DF wants quiet he can go to bed.

and def something that will be considered about whether we want to holiday together again.

If you push the beds together but put the mattresses cross ways in the opposite direction, the beds underneath stay together.

Yes. Because now there’s a disabled child who can’t sleep alone.

Really you just shouldn't have agreed to the accommodation or made requirements known n advance.

Say nothing else about it and consider it a lesson learned.

I'd pack a fitted double sheet in your suitcase so you can push the singles together and they won't slide apart in the night.

Four rooms and seven beds and you're still whingeing _ WTAF!

If I was the parents I'd want and expect the double bed with the en-suite.

It's so easy to push beds together or pop the mattresses on the floor. It's not a hardship at all.

I can't work out why your family needs so many beds and rooms

Thank you. And on paper this is the obvious solution but in real life (and obviously the real issue here) they would go ballistic that I was ruining the holiday because I wouldn’t just fall in line with what they wanted to do.

How old is your dd

Your were literally soliciting advice 🤣

Maybe your parents want to have sex on the holiday so will want a double for that

Push the beds together. They’ll be robust in a rental and it’s highly unlikely that your child will fall through the middle.

with all of those other bedrooms, could you take turns co sleeping with your child? That way, each of you get several good nights’ sleep.

They're paying and you want them to give up the best room? You're taking the piss.