To think we should get the double room?

[Bibbidybobbidyroo]

We gave a family holiday booked this year - 2 adults in family 1 (my parents), two adults one child in family 2 (us).

My parents offered to pay for the cost of the accommodation as a kind gesture (they are financially better off). The accommodation has one master bedroom with a double bed, and three other twin bedrooms.

Our child has ASD and cosleeps as it’s the only way to guarantee any sort of sleep on what I fear is already going to be a trying week - first time abroad and a big routine change. I asked if we could the the double bed otherwise I’m going to end up squashed in a single with DD. They aren’t keen at ALL. Should probably mention my dad ends up falling asleep on the sofa and staying there all night anyway so my mum will mostly have the double bed to herself.

Im grateful that they paid for the villa but I feel like it’s coming with conditions that aren’t going to be very relaxing for us at all. I would have rather just paid our share and the felt like I could push for the bigger room more.

would you raise this again or just put up and shut up and accept the financial saving?

Next time book a villa with two double or queen rooms and two bathrooms.

Your parents have stated that they are having the double room so you will have to make the other three rooms work out for you. I don't see how this is a problem at all.

You can move matresses, beds etc to suit yourselves.

Push two singles together and turn the mattresses sideways so they don't slip apart
I do it at center parcs every time as always end up in bed with one child

It might work but having tried something similar before the beds could be very different sizes. I have had a very similar experience to you OP. It's a nightmare trying to cosleep either in a single or with two singles pushed together, my DD repeatedly fell down the gap - have those people saying 'just push the beds together ' actually tried this? It doesn't work. My experience also involved selfish family. I would definitely just say to them that you're willing to try it but if it doesn't work DM will need to swap or you will have to stay elsewhere. Make sure this is agreed to, you don't want yo have a second situation where you've just assumed they will be reasonable!

@Mnk711 So many people have said that putting 2 single divan bases together works. Even without doing anything - I can attest to this having done it with an ASD child who has multiple other diagnoses on top - no issues.

If OP wants to be fancy pants about it - use zip ties or other ways of securing the beds tighter together from below and super king mattress topper + sheet to hold it together on top. Might want to bring a super king duvet too.

And actually for the cost of all that you might as well pay for separate accommodation!!

Having been in this situation it was an exhausting week.

We thought of pushing the two singles together, but the room layout didn't easily allow it and the beds had very thick frames so the middle of the bed would have had 6-8 inches of frame that I would inevitably have had to lie on. We considered putting the two mattresses on the floor but with the bedframes and other furniture there wasn't enough room.

I just barely slept for the week as DS wouldn't leave me to have a nap in the day either.

When family holidays have been mentioned since and venues suggested I've repeatedly pointed out the lack of double rooms.

@Bibbidybobbidyroo - can you google the name of the location that you're going to be staying in? If you can, perhaps you might be able to email them directly and explain your situation and ask them if it might be at all possible for them to, for this particular stay have 2 x double rooms and 2 x twin rooms so that instead of you having to bring a sheet with you and moving the two beds together, you actually get a double bed in the room for you waiting and ready for your arrival.

Your mum would also get a double bed and she doesn't need to know that you've arranged this without her involvement.

Might that be something that you could try?

This holiday is sounding more trouble then it's worth, it sounds more like an endurance test.
Hope you find a solution that works.

@LookItsMeAgain

Its really hard to tell from the pics so I will def email them to check its a possibility before buggering about buying things I might not need! I am trying to be optimistic that a comfortable solution is a possibility.

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHair

We had a shocking night at an air B and B last year where the bed we had tried to make up kept slipping and eventually woke DD up, where she was then awake from midnight to 5am. The next day was predictably horrendous as she was so exhausted as were we.

If the sleeping arrangement doesnt work for us, I am also optimistic DM will see that the current set up makes no sense and impacts everyones enjoyment. She isnt callous, I think DPs just struggle to sometimes picture the day to day realities of it all and prefer to hope for the best. Where as I am clearly a chronic overthinker and worrywort.

OP could you afford to book a double room at a nearby hotel and just use the hotel for sleep and spend the day at the villa?

Do you have melatonin for your DD? DS still won't go to sleep on his own but he's asleep earlier and for longer than without it and I think it saved my sanity! It was a bit of a fight to get it, but worth it.

Also, I'm sure it's also been mentioned to you, but a weighted blanket helped DS as well.

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHair is your child sleeping under it the while night? We were tole 30 min max under a weighted blankiet and that it should only new used after a consultation with OT.

@Bibbidybobbidyroo I just can’t get my head round why you would agree to this without discussing and agreeing the sleeping arrangements first. It’s obvious essential that you have the double and you knew there was just one.
Too late complaining about it now.

He does have it the whole night, we've never been told anything like that - well, we have, but that was about weighted jackets, and we've been very open about the weighted blanket and the difference it's made, he was waking every two hours without it, with it he sleeps through or only wakes once.

We’re away and something awful has happened 😱

Amazingly haven’t fallen into the ravine.

What's the something awful that has happened?

The awful thing is how normal it is to lack any empathy and to mock people for having lives with struggles that are any different to the standard "just crack on" mumsnetter.

@SensationalSusie has clearly not had rambunctious sex in the bed which is how I’ve fallen down the middle several times 😂

@TheChosenTwo 😂😂😂

You’ve made me giggle! Sharing room with DC so not blooming likely!!

Lighthearted look at all the chat on this thread - I will forever be thinking about it whenever we have twins pushed together!!

Just updating to say without mentioning anything, DM suggested we take the double room as we were the bigger party which was hugely appreciated and we all had a lovely time!

That's a great update. All that worry for nothing. I'm glad you had a good time.

So glad your parents offered you that and you had a good time!

Phew.......That's great, I'm so pleased it was all ok in the end.

Everyone on Mumsnet can now sleep easy knowing that you and your family didn't fall in between the cracks in the bed!