To think we should get the double room?

[Bibbidybobbidyroo]

We gave a family holiday booked this year - 2 adults in family 1 (my parents), two adults one child in family 2 (us).

My parents offered to pay for the cost of the accommodation as a kind gesture (they are financially better off). The accommodation has one master bedroom with a double bed, and three other twin bedrooms.

Our child has ASD and cosleeps as it’s the only way to guarantee any sort of sleep on what I fear is already going to be a trying week - first time abroad and a big routine change. I asked if we could the the double bed otherwise I’m going to end up squashed in a single with DD. They aren’t keen at ALL. Should probably mention my dad ends up falling asleep on the sofa and staying there all night anyway so my mum will mostly have the double bed to herself.

Im grateful that they paid for the villa but I feel like it’s coming with conditions that aren’t going to be very relaxing for us at all. I would have rather just paid our share and the felt like I could push for the bigger room more.

would you raise this again or just put up and shut up and accept the financial saving?

I've pushed beds together and if you put all the spare quilts and bedding across the 2 and then a sheet it can be really comfortable, and roomier.

You've plenty of empty beds to pinch the bedding from. I'd consider taking a roll of duct tape to actually tape the beds together too.

The more you post, the more disastrous this sounds.

I want doesn't get...

So what would actually happen if you decided not to go?

Oh! I’m just realising some of the angst is to do with needing hubby to be in the same bed with her too!

My poor DH 😂😂 my brain was not even there… we stopped worrying about stuff like that once ND DC left cot and the bed situation rose it’s head - it’s 1-2weeks, you survive and the holiday is busy!

I was going to say yabu but with an asd child and co sleeping yanbu.

I would see if the other beds can be turned into a double then ask your parents if you can swap. If they say no options are not going because it won't work for you, or being very very clear if your child is up early you will be using the rest of the villa regardless of where your dad decides to sleep. Because expecting you to avoid the living area because he'll be sleep there when there's beds available is also U.

Next time don't invite them or make sure you have a suitable villa!

We paid for this villa what a waste of money
you ruined the holiday over a bed
what’s the point of us going by ourselves
fine you can have the bed (with much sulking)

Thanks. Honestly I would TOTALLY be unreasonable demanding the double if they paid and it was just DH and I. And tbh even if we split it equally I would normally make a comment about them wanting the master AND the living room but I would just suck it up like I’ve always done.

it just feels … like it’s not something I would do. I would always offer the bigger bed if someone had an actual need for it. I would put other people before myself. Maybe that’s just me.

This is all very petty and a non issue, sounds like you just want a fight.

quite obviously you can just push the singles together, you don’t even need fo ask someone to do it for you, and habe three double rooms.

its a complete non issue.

I would always offer the bigger bed if someone had an actual need for it. I would put other people before myself. Maybe that’s just me

what you on about, you can just push the singles together.

Why can’t my mum push the singles together?

What? You want your mother to push the singles together?

Why not?

I have the exact same situation with my ASD 8 year old. Cannot fall asleep alone and wakes the moment I twitch, let alone try to move to another bed.

I also frequently holiday with my parents and always get the double bed for this reason, including the one time they paid for the accommodation. In this situation, what works best for the child, works best for everyone.

Another trip, when I paid, both rooms were doubles but one had an en-suite and balcony access while the other one was small and pretty dark. I took the dark room because it was safer to have a room with no balcony access. Our only considerations when choosing rooms are what works best for DC (who the grandparents obviously want to holiday with). We also frequently book accommodation that has more rooms than we need because it meets other requirements so it’s worth it to us. I had no idea that’s considered so weird to so many people.

The replies on this thread have made me want to bang my head against a wall. Can people really not fathom that what’s normal in many situations won’t work in others. But, as you say OP, after a night of musical beds, your mum will likely be moving your belongings into the double room for you.

Because they are paying thousands and want the best room and to be comfortable.
Yes it would be nice of them to offer... But they don't want to.*

Honestly BRING A DOUBLE FITTED SHEET AND PUSH THE SINGLES TOGETHER

Then book and pay for your own holidays in future

*Personally I fucking hate single beds I would never sleep in one ever again except under duress.

How do you know your father 'always' sleeps on the sofa? You don't live with them, do you? Do you know if he always does this on holiday? Is there even a sofa comfortable enough for him to sleep on anyway?

The older you are, the more you need a comfortable bed - they're paying, their choice.

I would always offer the bigger bed if someone had an actual need for it.

...but you haven't got an actual need for it

Will they be watching your kid for any time while you on holiday?

Because…. I know him?

he sleeps on the sofa every night at home. I know.

just as he does on holiday.

If there’s 3 other twin rooms then you and child in 1 push beds together and husband in another room and alternate if child will sleep with either of you. It’s not ideal if you want to share a room with husband but considering your parents are paying you can’t really push for the bigger bedroom and bed, of course you can ask but if it’s a no then it’s a no

But your mum's probably wondering why you can't push the singles together.

Because she’s your mother, you’re younger, and this is gift they have treated you all with. Which is lovely of them.

why are you arguing about now you don’t want to shove a bed a few feet?

How is there not a need? I have a special needs child who cannot sleep alone.

And no they won’t be doing any babysitting.

But there is no need. The beds just need shoving together, it’s a job that takes seconds.

When you suggested to your Mum that you had the double bed, and she wasn’t happy, did you point out that your Dad would probably sleep on the settee anyway?

Zip-ties cost pennies, can be bought ahead of time and cut up on departure. Just use them to attach the legs and other suitable points.