Homeoffice fees

[Lucky2shoes]

Dp is on limited leave to remain and we are so upset at what it's going to cost to renew for another 2.5 years. It's in the region of £4500. We both feel like our lives are wrecked and I feel like there is no point in my life anymore. I'm on zero hour contract as I'm unwell due to autism/adhd plus other conditions I can't work more hours and dp is full-time minimum wage we are not entitled to any benefits.
On top of all of this dp has dependants although mostly grown up in his home country who put immense pressure on him to help financially due to poor earnings.
I don't know what to do about this situation but I feel like checking out of my life but I feel so bad for dp who is a very good person.

At the risk of sounding mean I don't think you should be entitled to any support from the government when you as a couple are sending £400 to pakistan every month.
And trust me, he won't stop sending it. That's his whole reason for being in UK and his family will always come before you.
He will cover the visa fee one way or another either from loans from other immigrants or he will put on you to get a loan.

Seen it all a million times over, been married 22 years now to a foreign man and his friends have done very much same

Have you ever had somebody pleading for money saying they can't feed thier kids and no money to even get to work you don't know the stress that's placed on dp.

Why are you so scared of telling your DP off. It's not like he can leave you without being kicked out of the UK

It is a codependent relationship, not healthy and once he has ILTR he could up and leave anyway. It seems rather convenient that he has found a vulnerable partner who will try to keep him at all costs rather than be alone. Does he also have expensive hobbies?

OP I appreciate it's hard when there is genuine need, but you need to put your own oxygen mask on first. If he's deported he won't be here to send money home at all. It's not a unique situation at all.

That comes down to trust and if he's genuine and he is. I'm not scared of telling him to reduce money sent back home and he agrees this needs to be done.
I don't know where this thing about expensive hobbies has come from I think that's a mix up from another poster

So what do you want? You've started another thread just whinging about how hard things are for you when the solution is there smacking you both in the face. If you don't want to stop sending money back to Pakistan then fine, instead when your partner can't get ILR you can wave him off at the airport when he has to move back home.

Stop complaining and grow up. Nobody is going to hand you the HO fees so either start saving for them by cutting his family off or prepare yourself for his eventual deportation.

Cheap compared to Australia! Dp is Australian and if we want to visit for more than 6 months (retired) I will need a spouse visa at £6500 ish. I wouldn't even be working though the visa allows it.

That's pretty harsh I just wanted to sound out I guess but hey if you don't want to know then you don't have to comment.

How many of them is he supporting?

I have friends of the same background and i do understand the expectations however he needs to say no.

Just quick google says its about 142000 pkr. Per month

My friends barely make ends meet whilst those in pakistan are living the life of riley.

Usually in Pakistan people are living in owned himes so no rent to pay.

Whilst im not saying don't support them it needs to be realistic.

You cannot expect fee waivers etc just so he can carry on sending £400 a month!

What has he said in regards to this?

I remember your previous threads. Have no advice from there worked?
He is on 10 year path because he overstayed and it counts against the good character, doesn't it.

You're "sounding out" again when there's a perfectly possible solution to all of this. Your own OP says you don't know what to do. You think the fees are unfair? Fine. Wish you didn't have to pay? Fine. You can think and vent all of these things but it won't change the outcome so with respect the pair of you need to pull up your socks and sort the situation out or we'll be seeing future threads where you've said he's being sent home.

On 10 year route because I don't meet the financial requirements

That is exactly how they are living shared houses with no rent however the living conditions are awful and cramped

I've never known anything like it people seem to get sick so easily and get nothing if they can't work.

I thought that 5 year route needs under 19k combined. My bad

Do you own your home? How much are you subbing your student ds? Hopefully at least what he sends back. Tbh it sounds very inequitable otherwise.

It was £18.600 but its gone up loads

We are renting a grotty unheated flat

I would be asking him who is the priority here. You. His life in the UK? Or them? Sounds like he came to get money. He is doing what he needs to to keep that up.

It’s hard on you but the system is designed to reduce burdens on the UK economy. An unskilled worker who is sending home every spare (and not spare) penny is not in the UK interests to encourage. OK if he wants to be here because his partner is here but I am suspicious of his priorities.

We've been through this OP. It's a ruse to get you to keep giving. It's not actually true.
And yes, I know what that's like, because as I and other posters on your old thread told you, we're from similar backgrounds.
Still, you choose to keep your eyes shut and not understand the reality of expectations. They don't need the money. They just want it because they think it's their right. Even £100 is a massive amount. They don't need that much.
Not sure what you expect from this forum if you won't listen to any advice.
You didn't listen then and you're not going to now so what's the point.

Ds gets 320 a month between me and my ex plus other things like Spotify etc paid for then he gers a student loan as well

I'm definitely listening this time around due to the shock at the homeoffice fee I have no choice

And I do agree with you on the ruse thing

How long have you been on this relationship, and how long has your boyfriend been living with you?

Well then you know what you need to do.
You don't need to check out of your life.
Just tell your DP to stop giving his family money.
Tell them he has debts to pay or something like that (which is true). Or that he has to pay for your medical treatment 😁

Of course easier said than done but you're fortunate this money is actually there and it's just him pissing it up the wall. What would you do if it didn't exist at all...?