To want to give this prize back after 6 months.

[Thecurtainsdontmeet]

we won 4 VIP tickets to a sporting event, at a school raffle, date to be mutually agreed. Whilst the donor was named on the prize details, we didn’t know who they were other than a school parent. Turns out they are very influential at school. They were pointed out to me at at school event so I introduced myself, thanked them for the prize and we had a long chat during which he said that the prize was only nominally for 4 tickets, but we could bring more people if we wanted. There is no additional cost to him. He also offered to us VIP tickets to watch the premier league football team my son supports and to which he has links. I was to email him after the holidays. I duly emailed with our availability and got no response. After 6 weeks I messaged his wife (who I also didn’t know)to check he’d got the email. 3 weeks later he emailed pointing out that our date of preference was a school event, which I’d overlooked. I immediately replied with alternative dates. Heard nothing for 3 months whereupon he emailed 3 days before one of the dates I’d given (the other 2 dates had passed) saying we could go in 3 days. having not heard from him I hadn’t kept the date free. I emailed back and said we couldn’t go and provided alternative dates. A date was confirmed and he asked how many tickets we wanted, so I replied that we’d like 8, 4 adults and 4 children. He has just replied that normally he only gives 4, ‘but on this occasion’.

Im really embarrassed and feel like a scolded teenager. I would never have asked for 8 tickets if he hadn’t offered. I’m actually not sure I want to go at all now. I’ve had to chase this man from the outset to get the tickets he donated to a raffle and now he’s told me off for asking for additional tickets that he offered. It just feel like he’s lording over the peasants.
Would you
A) still take the 8 tickets and go(he will be there)
B) email back “Hi x , I’m quite embarrassed. I wouldn’t have asked for 8 tickets if you hadn’t offered additional tickets when we spoke. 4 is fine thank you”
C) email back “Hi x, I’m quite embarrassed. I wouldn’t have asked for 8 tickets if you hadn’t offered additional tickets when we spoke. This all feels a bit uncomfortable now, so we are going to politely decline the tickets. I hope you enjoy the event”.
For context non VIP tickets to watch this event aren’t like gold dust and don’t cost the earth; we usually go as a family a couple of times a year anyway.

URBU- just take the 8 tickets and go
URNBU- politely give the tickets back.

I would just thank him for giving you 8 on this occasion and go and enjoy it. I think you are being over sensitive. I also would have chased with more emails than you did prior when you didn’t hear anything.

C

Patronising twonk.

I would go with A if I didn’t want to initiate in any more back and forth conversation. Sounds exhausting as it is & more hassle than it’s worth.

But if you do want to engage, then I’d casually reply, “Hi <prick> you did say it was ok to bring more people when we last spoke but if numbers is an issue now, I’m happy to stick to the original 4 - whatever is easiest for you, thanks a lot, really looking forward to it”.

*I wouldn’t have asked for 8 tickets if you hadn’t offered additional tickets when we spoke, but thanks, they are much appreciated.”
Then go and forget him. You won the four in a raffle, he offered more, he took forever to respond and made you feel like it was a huge favour after originally being over generous. He is the one who should be embarrassed.

I’m with you OP. He sounds like an arsehole. I’d remind him he offered more tickets-then tell him where to shove them.

B

Please do update us as to whether you are going or not! 🤣🤣🤣

OP I’m really sorry but you sound pathetic.

@PuddlesPityParty do you want to expand on that or are you just having a dull evening?

Yeah sure. You’re being pathetic. If you want to say something to the man, say it. Why are you snivelling and saying you’re soooo embarrassed when you weren’t embarrassed to ask for double amount of tickets. Grow up. If you want to go, go. It you don’t, don’t. Such a none issue.

@PuddlesPityParty
such a non issue could probably be applied to 90% of MN posts. I asked for advice, I got it. It’s kind of the whole point of MN.

Yeah of course. And I gave my opinion. Don’t post and then cry about the replies my love.

PuddlesPityParty is either Billy Big Bollocks or his wife

What 🤣 I’m not, but you think what you want.

Personally prefer Sammy Small Sacks. Has a much better ring to it...

I’m absolutely not crying. I’m taking note and learning 😊

He does deserve a slight reprimand for being so patronising. B sounds perfect

Ha! Well either he and his wife have multiple Mumsnet accounts, given that several posters have disagreed with the OP. Or maybe, just maybe, some people simply think the OP is in the wrong.

Given he took as long as he did to answer an email, I think I can work out which it is.

Don’t overthink think this. Take the eight tickets and thank him very much. You might add an apology for misunderstanding about additional tickets. If you become too disagreeable, he may choose not to offer tickets in the future.

OP i think you should go. You won the damn prize for four tickets. Take them and go!

Ugh, I’m embarrassed but FOR HIM. Not you, you’ve done nothing wrong. He just wanted all the glory of giving the flashy prize but doesn’t want to come through on it. £100 says he’s pulled this stunt before.

I would take the tickets with your head held high and, if he’s there, don’t mention anything about ‘being embarrassed’ just enjoy your day. Say a quick ‘thanks’ if you want but leave it at that. You took HIM up on HIS offer, remember that.

This👆
But I'd be wondering who he's telling there what a CF he thinks I am... 🤔
BBB TTT and SSS 😂

I don’t think you were one bit cheeky! He offered as many tickets as you would like during the face to face conversation at the time and then when he eventually answered your emails he again asked how many you wanted so you were totally within reason to say 8 please.
He has been so rude here, you shouldn’t have had to ‘chase up’ your prize. He obviously didn’t mean it when he offered extra tickets but you weren’t to know that he’s full of BS!
Put it in context of a physical prize. If I offered a crystal vase as a prize for the school raffle but told the organisers to have the winner contact me for collection afterwards instead of giving them the vase to display on a prize table… weird anyway but let’s go with it… and then the person who won the case had to repeatedly email me to ask for it, even message my spouse to see if the unanswered email maybe was undelivered. I’d be mortified to carry on like that.
Take the 8 tickets. If he chats to you at the event make sure to say ‘thanks again for offering the extra tickets back at x event, so generous of you’ and then steer clear.
if you try to explain yourself it will look like you think you need to excuse your actions which you do not. He is the one who should be apologetic. Actually I would make a point of telling everyone I met how he offered the extra tickets… then he can hardly go around giving out about you being cheeky asking for them!!

Option b I am sure he will respond and still offer 8 if he wants to

I would just forget the whole thing and move on as if it never happened. Sounds like he offered the extras but didn't really think you'd take him up on it... like when you bump into a vague acquaintance and promise to 'do lunch' or whatever, both fully knowing it'll never happen.

It would probably be easier for all concerned, rather than making a point of officially returning the tickets or making the other point of chasing double the number of original tickets - I would think both options have the potential to end in animosity.