To want to give this prize back after 6 months.

[Thecurtainsdontmeet]

we won 4 VIP tickets to a sporting event, at a school raffle, date to be mutually agreed. Whilst the donor was named on the prize details, we didn’t know who they were other than a school parent. Turns out they are very influential at school. They were pointed out to me at at school event so I introduced myself, thanked them for the prize and we had a long chat during which he said that the prize was only nominally for 4 tickets, but we could bring more people if we wanted. There is no additional cost to him. He also offered to us VIP tickets to watch the premier league football team my son supports and to which he has links. I was to email him after the holidays. I duly emailed with our availability and got no response. After 6 weeks I messaged his wife (who I also didn’t know)to check he’d got the email. 3 weeks later he emailed pointing out that our date of preference was a school event, which I’d overlooked. I immediately replied with alternative dates. Heard nothing for 3 months whereupon he emailed 3 days before one of the dates I’d given (the other 2 dates had passed) saying we could go in 3 days. having not heard from him I hadn’t kept the date free. I emailed back and said we couldn’t go and provided alternative dates. A date was confirmed and he asked how many tickets we wanted, so I replied that we’d like 8, 4 adults and 4 children. He has just replied that normally he only gives 4, ‘but on this occasion’.

Im really embarrassed and feel like a scolded teenager. I would never have asked for 8 tickets if he hadn’t offered. I’m actually not sure I want to go at all now. I’ve had to chase this man from the outset to get the tickets he donated to a raffle and now he’s told me off for asking for additional tickets that he offered. It just feel like he’s lording over the peasants.
Would you
A) still take the 8 tickets and go(he will be there)
B) email back “Hi x , I’m quite embarrassed. I wouldn’t have asked for 8 tickets if you hadn’t offered additional tickets when we spoke. 4 is fine thank you”
C) email back “Hi x, I’m quite embarrassed. I wouldn’t have asked for 8 tickets if you hadn’t offered additional tickets when we spoke. This all feels a bit uncomfortable now, so we are going to politely decline the tickets. I hope you enjoy the event”.
For context non VIP tickets to watch this event aren’t like gold dust and don’t cost the earth; we usually go as a family a couple of times a year anyway.

URBU- just take the 8 tickets and go
URNBU- politely give the tickets back.

We all know a twat like this.

Billy Big Bollocks in public - dying to show off what he can do or get for people, and how much he can donate to things.

Then when no one is looking, turns out he can’t actually do anything at all.

I don’t think I would be able to attend and thus give him the satisfaction of being able to say “yeah, I donated that……yeah, I can sort stuff…..blah blah bullshit’

And him offering more tickets is all more of his Billy Big Bollocks display.

No one even asked but oh yeah whatever anyone wants, he can get it.

’cos he’s a big name see

Then when no one is looking, turns out he can’t actually do anything at all.

@MissersMercer seriously? I didn’t chase him. He asked me to email. I did. I gave him plenty of time to reply. I messaged his wife after 6 weeks. What would you have done? Sent another email? If he didn’t get the first email/it went into his junk there was no point in sending another. I replied immediately when he answered and waited 3 months for him to get back to me……but in your world that’s chasing?????🤔

@waterrat in his last correspondence he simply asked ‘how many tickets would you like’ . He didn’t say ‘the prize was for 4 , do you need a couple of extra tickets’ his very open ended question confirmed to me that his original offer was genuine……I take on board that almost everyone has said I’m a CF, and I’ve certainly learned a lesson, but I genuinely don’t understand people who offer stuff they have no intention of following through with.

Billy big bollocks sums it up

I'm not sure wealthy people can win sometimes. If they hoard their wealth they are tight but if they share it they are being flashy and doing it for their own means.

I'd do a friendly polite reply along that suggested by a previous poster which was

'oh sorry! Thought you said it was easy to bring others along...but no problem if not? 4 is great and we're looking fwd to it. Thanks again!'

Then I'd go and enjoy it. I think your reply about not holding the dates sounded very rude and abrupt.

It’s not polite to offer something when you done mean it. That’s really rude.

Bloody hell, this entire thread is mad. OP clearly dislikes prize giver. Fine. We know nothing about them except what OP has told us - horrible snob, terrible communicator, arsehole, whatever.

We do know they offered more thank 4 tickets. Great. Except OP asked for more tickets and loads of you are, “HOW DARE YOU???”

How the fuck do you live your lives?

I would go and (assuming they are also there) apologise and say that you didn't realise 8 was too many considering his offer.

But I think you're being really bitchy when you won a prize for 4 tickets, got an additional 4 tickets AND VIP tickets to a Premiership football game?! Unless I'm misunderstanding the offer of course. But you were happy to take advantage of an offer and now you're embarrassed so you're being rude online.

@ChiefWiggumsBoy there are no premiership football tickets. They were verbally offered with no follow up and despite what some on this thread might think I’m not a proficient enough CF to ask for those. It was a hollow offer- I completely see that now.

@JarvisRocker i should probably add that I didn’t dislike him before this whole nonsense…..I barely knew who he was!

You got 8 tickets for whatever sport for the price of a raffle ticket.
Just leave it.

So an offer to bring more people is unlimited in number? OP can ask for another 10? 20? 50?

We live our lives by not taking advantage of other people’s offers.

Whilst he did say you could have more tickets, I would presume that meant 1 or 2, not double the amount. That being said, he didn't state that. Personally I'd just go and enjoy your day out.

Option B

Do you think it might have been your curt response that made him change your mind?
Or do the timings not add up.

Sorry I've posted under two different names by mistake!

@OvxvO my ‘curt’ response was 6 months after the raffle and the conversation, so no, I don’t think it was that.

I would go.

I don't quite understand what has embarrassed you though.
He reiterated that he usually only gives 4 tickets but is being nice allowing you a few more tickets on this occasion.

How's it embarrassing?

No, I agree. Maybe it's one of those things where we Brits traditionally assume we're being superior by pretending to be nice and expect everybody to know that we aren't really?!

I've heard people speak negatively about German or Dutch people, with their 'crime' being that they actually say exactly what they wish to convey to you, with no confusion or ambiguity!

It's more the fact that people offer things they don't necessarily expect to be held to I'd say especially if they dont value it at the time but theres nothing you can do now so just try to have fun

@ShipSpace

Billy Big Bollocks in public - dying to show off what he can do or get for people, and how much he can donate to things.

Then when no one is looking, turns out he can’t actually do anything at all.

Thank you for teaching me the phrase Billy Big Bollocks

I know many of these and will be utilising it freely.

PS: we need a similar phrase for the when noone is looking turns out he can't do anything - Sammy Small Sacks?

As in Billy Big Bollocks in public, Sammy Small Sacks in private.

Actually I've just thought of a better one Timmy Tiny Testicles.

Well, yes. OP can ask for any amount. It’s down to the person to say yes or no. Asking for anything is totally fine. It’s not taking advantage in the slightest to ask for things. Other people have agency.

Go and forget about him