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AIBU?

Weddings are a total waste of money

165 replies

TheGenerousPHILAMPERIST · 26/01/2024 21:00

AIBU by tellig many people IRL that marraige is indeed a total waste of time and money these days?

If you have loads of cash and able to throw about 25/35 thousand, then you carry on.

However, lots of people get married and these days marriage is not what it was 30+ years ago and that is a fact.

Would you agree with me that money used to fund a marriage be it 25/35k or loads more or less is justifiable when most first-time buyers are struggling to get a deposit?

I of preach: Have a little party as this avoids the stress and strains of preparing for the big wedding bash. Save the money for your future and the future of your children and the rainy days, and or enjoy the money on destressing life etc.

But throwing it away in many cases on a marriage that may have failed before it started, whats the point?

We had a big bash as did our children and thankfully we are still together.

Of course, it's your choice and I wish you a happy and long life of bliss together. However, I would be honest if the aforementioned did not come with a caveat of, many marriages are destined to fail, so save your money to make a happier and easier life for yourselves and your children.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

469 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
50%
You are NOT being unreasonable
50%
Youcannotbeseriousreally · 26/01/2024 21:00

Weddings are a waste of money. Marriage is nice I think!

HermioneWeasley · 26/01/2024 21:01

Marriage is a legal contract which confers legal rights. It needs only cost around £150. Big weddings are a waste of money but unnecessary to being married

cloudyday18jan · 26/01/2024 21:03

Weddings are a waste of money imho. We had the most basic registry office thing with two witnesses, over and done with in about 15 mins. To me it's just a useful legal document.

EggTheFirst · 26/01/2024 21:03

What? DH and I spent £3k on our wedding, at that point we owned a house and some rentals with plenty in the bank.

fulgrate · 26/01/2024 21:03

You mean weddings, right?

titchy · 26/01/2024 21:04

Youve confused marriage with weddings. £25k on a wedding - total waste unless you're loaded. £300 to be the legal security that you get with marriage - priceless.

On that basis YABU and ignorant.

Eightfour · 26/01/2024 21:04

You are confusing marriage - an important legal contract which provides vital protections and useful tax breaks - with a wedding, the party that celebrates a marriage. YABU, marriage can save a lot of money in the long term.

Wbeezer · 26/01/2024 21:04

I think you mean big weddings, not marriage.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/01/2024 21:04

So you and your kids had big expensive weddings and are still married but you think other people shouldn't cos their marriages will fail?

Pacifybull · 26/01/2024 21:05

I got married for about £200. Marriage is definitely worth it. It gives you such a lot of legal and financial protection.

Ilovemyshed · 26/01/2024 21:05

Not marriage, weddings. Marriage is a wonderful partnership and legal contract if you are with the right person. Weddings are what you choose them to be. Mine was £3k and very happy memories.

RoseAndRose · 26/01/2024 21:06

You seem to be confusing weddings (lavish ones) with marriage itself

Futurethinker · 26/01/2024 21:06

We eloped, so the money we spent was mainly to fund the ‘holiday’ where we got married, but it was still a lot of money & a lot more than we would normally spend on a holiday… but it was worth every penny and I loved every single second of it.
We also do not have DC & already have a mortgage so no need to use that money for our ‘future’, even if we do have dc I still won’t regret the money we spent.

Totally agree that spending 25-30k on ONE DAY and the cost of giving everyone else a good meal and a night out is a total waste of money and something I have never understood to be honest 🤷🏼‍♀️ those big days are basically for all your guests to enjoy and some good photos 😏

migigo · 26/01/2024 21:08

You are confusing marriage with weddings!

Marriage is good for many, weddings are what you want, mine is costing circa £5k and that includes a completely free bar!

OrangeMarmaladeOnToast · 26/01/2024 21:13

Reads like AI.

Grumpystripes · 26/01/2024 21:14

OrangeMarmaladeOnToast · 26/01/2024 21:13

Reads like AI.

Nah, too many spelling and grammar mistakes for AI.

Shortbreadfingerss · 26/01/2024 21:15

I think it depends on your personal circumstances, DH and I spent about £14k on our wedding and I don’t regret it. Was pretty much the only time in our life when all our friends and family were together in one room with us.

Mumaway · 26/01/2024 21:16

Marriage is not a waste of money, but a big wedding you can't afford is. Marriage gives many financial advantages over co-habiting, but you don't need a big wedding to get married

Onthebusallday · 26/01/2024 21:16

You mean Weddings of course, as many have pointed out.

And yes, they are an attention seeking, complicated, expensive, stressful unnecessary experience which invariably ends up with people falling out and causing family dilemmas and unhappiness.

LittleBearPad · 26/01/2024 21:16

A marriage is worth considerably more than £35k. A wedding may not be but that’s up to the bride and groom.

afkonholidaynearleek · 26/01/2024 21:17

We spent £12k on our wedding for 90 people last year. I organised all of it, and it was wonderful for me and my DH. A third of the budget was food, but it was so good that I didn't mind. Open bar, too. The leftovers fed our extended family for a week.

Before you ask why 90 people - my close family is 40. We couldn't not have a big wedding!

whatsmynameaga1n · 26/01/2024 21:19

Big weddings are fun and I’m always glad to be invited to one!

Hillrunning · 26/01/2024 21:23

Why do so many people fail to understand the difference between the words marriage and wedding?

Rangelife · 26/01/2024 21:27

We spent 6k on our wedding 6 months ago. I don't regret a penny of it. I loved planning it, DH made my dress and he loved making it, I loved all the colourful embroidery detail we wove through the day, loved seeing my DC all dressed up, all my family & friends looking so made up for us, the glorious weather. The cake was beautiful, the photos are ace, my son's band playing for us was wonderful, for once in my life I didn't deny myself and spent money on looking good (I'm usually a scruff). I looked beautiful (hard for me to say that) and DH looked amazing, we look so happy.

It was special to me. I don't give a fuck if people sneer at it, it sustains me thinking about it. I'll treasure the memories until the day I die. This is my second marriage (my first was awful, including the wedding & left me with broken bones) I wouldn't swap the experience for anything, even if DH leaves me in the future, I've loved having a wedding and a relationship that was good and I liked celebrating that. Shoot me. It wasn't a waste.

MadAboutThat · 26/01/2024 21:29

I love attending weddings.

But I would never spend my own money on one, I don't think it's worth it, and I don't even think marriage is worth the £150-£300 it would cost without a wedding.

I tell people this only when they ask directly about my situation, and I frame it in the way that marriage and a wedding is not the right choice for me.

Marriage and weddings are usually a deeply personal decision, and not one that is going to be swayed by your opinion, you're just going to come off badly if you suggest to people that their relationships are doomed to fail.

I wouldn't bother going around telling people that marriages are a waste of time, what's the point?

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