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AIBU?

Weddings are a total waste of money

165 replies

TheGenerousPHILAMPERIST · 26/01/2024 21:00

AIBU by tellig many people IRL that marraige is indeed a total waste of time and money these days?

If you have loads of cash and able to throw about 25/35 thousand, then you carry on.

However, lots of people get married and these days marriage is not what it was 30+ years ago and that is a fact.

Would you agree with me that money used to fund a marriage be it 25/35k or loads more or less is justifiable when most first-time buyers are struggling to get a deposit?

I of preach: Have a little party as this avoids the stress and strains of preparing for the big wedding bash. Save the money for your future and the future of your children and the rainy days, and or enjoy the money on destressing life etc.

But throwing it away in many cases on a marriage that may have failed before it started, whats the point?

We had a big bash as did our children and thankfully we are still together.

Of course, it's your choice and I wish you a happy and long life of bliss together. However, I would be honest if the aforementioned did not come with a caveat of, many marriages are destined to fail, so save your money to make a happier and easier life for yourselves and your children.

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Dismaljanuary · 27/01/2024 22:05

@Dapbag I'm no tory but don't you think in general funding is hard because we've come out of a global pandemic that literally brought the entire world to a stand still close followed by a pointless awful war by put in that direct affected our standard of living and raised costs

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Polis · 27/01/2024 22:18

Dismaljanuary · 27/01/2024 22:01

Unfortunately due to the cost I think it's better to have small intimate gatherings.

Huge family weddings are wonderful if you can afford it as it's rare large families come together.
However smaller gatherings are so much more personal and wonderful.

We managed to have a big family wedding with not a lot of money because our respective big families helped out. Not with money, but by providing food, drink, a venue, and help setting everything up.

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VoleChomper · 27/01/2024 22:25

TheGenerousPHILAMPERIST · 27/01/2024 14:10

It is my business when they go belly up, unable to afford the "debt" and are kicked out of their property or rented property and then put up the coucil.
Everyone that is able should have some responsibility and not put an extra burden on those that pay taxes.

Its a bit like the Labour-run coucils making bad decisions/etc, going belly up and then the taxpayers in England and local coucil taxpayers have to burden the bail out. In turn as the coucil taxes shoot up ti puts pressure on those paying their bills.

what in the jiggins are you wittering on about?

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AHFaemale · 27/01/2024 22:33

Money was no issue for us but a big wedding was. We did it for legal reasons. We spent circa £600 which includes petrol, overnight accommodation and my dress (Monsoon) . We eloped. 20+ years ago. I suppose we could have done it cheaper :)

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Dismaljanuary · 27/01/2024 22:59

@Polis that sounds perfect, the ideal... I had ideas about that with the venue at my in laws and everyone chipping in.

Unfortunately the family didn't play ball but we had fab cooks, musicians and venue. It was in laws venue that let us down.

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Dismaljanuary · 27/01/2024 23:01

Nb: i. Absolutely loved my wedding however, it was unique and glorious
I skipped down the aisle to dh inspite of being over weight, on a bizzare dress and with in laws glaring away...

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Polis · 27/01/2024 23:20

Dismaljanuary · 27/01/2024 22:59

@Polis that sounds perfect, the ideal... I had ideas about that with the venue at my in laws and everyone chipping in.

Unfortunately the family didn't play ball but we had fab cooks, musicians and venue. It was in laws venue that let us down.

We were lucky because it was my side of the family providing the venue. We essentially replicated my parent’s wedding 30 years previously… but with much better weather. What was nice was that we had several people turn up to the church that had baby sat me when I was little (they had heard our banns being read) and we were able invite them to the rest of the wedding without stressing about numbers. In all we gathered about a dozen extra guests during the course of the day.

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Dapbag · 28/01/2024 10:37

Dismaljanuary · 27/01/2024 22:05

@Dapbag I'm no tory but don't you think in general funding is hard because we've come out of a global pandemic that literally brought the entire world to a stand still close followed by a pointless awful war by put in that direct affected our standard of living and raised costs

Local government funding has been dropping off now for well over a decade - well, since the Tories have come to power.

The decline in local services is obvious for all to see and has been now going back much further than the pandemic.

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Dismaljanuary · 28/01/2024 11:00

@Dapbag because we had come out of the credit crunch!
The labour gov said no money left.

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Dapbag · 28/01/2024 21:05

Dismaljanuary · 28/01/2024 11:00

@Dapbag because we had come out of the credit crunch!
The labour gov said no money left.

That's not true, but also, the Tories have been in power for 14 years now. 14 years to put things right and start investing in public services and still, every year, things get worse on worse.

Another example - in the last 10 years the budget for the Environment agency has been reduced by 75%.

This isn't a Labour thing, this is the steady state way the Tories run this country and it's utter rubbish to suggest otherwise.

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Vettrianofan · 28/01/2024 21:10

I had a registry office wedding, was over in ten minutes. Perfect. No fuss. Didn't want a big fanfare.

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bakebeans · 28/01/2024 21:16

cost of wedding no. A work colleague used to
boast of her wedding cost. Her amazing Maldives honeymoon and luxury mini moon. Silk chairs at £80 each (250 chairs), wedding dress £3k. divorced within 2 years

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HalloumiGeller · 28/01/2024 21:55

"Marriage is not what it was 30 years ago" ....yes it is.

Nothing has changed, except that women now have more options and don't have to rely on a man to provide for their children, plus society is now more accepting of single parents!

Married couples were not happier 30+ years ago, they just put up and shut up more like! They couldn't deal with social stigma of divorce, or financial worry of not having a husband.

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TheGenerousPHILAMPERIST · 29/01/2024 09:32

HalloumiGeller · 28/01/2024 21:55

"Marriage is not what it was 30 years ago" ....yes it is.

Nothing has changed, except that women now have more options and don't have to rely on a man to provide for their children, plus society is now more accepting of single parents!

Married couples were not happier 30+ years ago, they just put up and shut up more like! They couldn't deal with social stigma of divorce, or financial worry of not having a husband.

You said "yes it is" IE marriage are what they were 30 years ago.

Ironically, you then proceed to say what has changed and women have more options/etc. So is it the "same" or not? Judging by what you said, it is not.

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laclochette · 29/01/2024 10:05

Anything beyond your means is a bad idea.
A lot of weddings these days seem to involve people cos playing at being rich!
I know people who are simultaneously paying legal fees from their divorce AND the debts from their wedding...ouch. I'm not saying they'd have worked out without an extravagant wedding, but it just goes to underscore that getting into debt for a party is not, IMO, a wise way to live.

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