To ask if you work or are a SAHP..

[DontBeTight]

Just that really, those of you who have children under school age. Do you work, or do you stay at home? Or work part time? My youngest won't start school until 2026 so I'm considering giving up work and having the rest of the time full time at home with her as my income makes very little difference to the household.

Those who stay at home, do you enjoy it?

I have 2 kids (8 & 11) and never returned to work. Absolutely loved those pre school years with them. Attended lots of groups and classes etc. Made pals with other mums.

Then when they did go to school, it’s also great to be at home, so there’s no worry around school runs, play dates after school et cetera. It allows me to be on top of the house, food shopping, holiday planning et cetera.

It’s not only leads to less stress for me, but also less stress for my husband.

I think there’s a lot of value in staying at home if that’s what you want to do and you’re able to do it. I would highly recommend and I have no plans to return to work. (I do voluntary work now 2 afternoons a week).

Kind of both? I am self employed and do the paperwork for a business DH and I own and run but I do that after bedtime and MIL has DS (2yo) at our house one day a week too, so my boy is otherwise with me all the time. We’re farmers also, so he’s out and about with me on the farm for the morning and afternoon jobs but the rest of the time is our own. I absolutely love it, we go to toddler group and swimming lessons and music class and play in the park and bake together and play on the beach and go for long walks on the farm and everything lovely and fun. The days can seem quite long when DH isn’t home til gone midnight so everything is on me, but I absolutely wouldn’t change it for the world. It just suits us.

I gave up work for a while and really didn’t enjoy it. I was much happier back at work, and tbh, I was probably a better mother too. I was bored and felt unfulfilled at home.

I don’t think you know until you try, but it wasn’t for me.

I have 2 under school age. A 2.5 year old DD and a 12 month old DS.
Original plan was for me to go back to work and DD go into nursery but when she was due to start nursery we found out I was pregnant with DS and tbh, the realisation of the cost for both in childcare put us off having them both in childcare as it would have essentially been a whole wage and we'd rather one of us looked after them instead of a nursery.
It made sense it was me rather than DH because I was the pregnant one and planned to bf DS aswell. I also hadn't been enjoying my job so it seemed to make sense.

I enjoy most days but it is hard work. Things you take for granted when working like taking a day off sick don't apply when you've got kids to look after as there's no-one to look after them.
If I'm having a bad day then I dream of going back to work and putting them in childcare but then I know I'd miss spending my days with them and the bad days don't outweigh the good.
It's not for everyone, it isn't easy as it's so full on all the time.

I have always worked.

You may not find it easy to pick up your career later on.

Who will be covering your pension payments?

Relying on one income is madness - what if he becomes too ill to work, leaves you, or loses his job etc??

I work full time and have done since DD was 6 months old (had to return to work early as ex-H chose not to work so couldn't afford a full year off). She's now 2 and I'm still working full time and ex and I have a shared care arrangement in place for her. She's now attending private nursery 3 afternoons a week until she turns 3 and funding kicks in for her to attend 5 days a week.
She's with me from Wednesday after work until Sundays then with her dad from Sunday afternoon/evening until Wednesday.
If I could afford it, I would drop a day a week to have an extra half day with her, but soon it won't matter because she'll be at nursery/school the majority of the time I'm at work anyway.
I wouldn't want to be a SAHM, I like my job too much and it's a big part of who I am.

I work F/T always have but only because DH has always had shite minimum wage jobs and I’ve had to work.
I went back to work when DS1(23) was 3 months old and then when DS2(16) was 11 months old. I really feel I missed out on a lot.

I had to go back to work as I couldn't afford not to.

I’ve just gone back to work after 5 years of being a sahm. I loved it. I didn’t have the opportunity to do it with my eldest but loved being able to be at home for my younger two.

im really happy back at work now full time. I think the break from work was what I needed to refresh

I was SAHM for my youngest (but I have a medical condition that affects me working as well). He started school in September and I was bored to tears. So found a little 15 hour a week job that’s term time and only 3 hours a day. So I have the best of both worlds. I couldn’t do it again though, I’d go stir crazy I think!

During the pre school years my DH and I took turns.

In total, I did 2 years off on mat leave and then one year of part time. DH took a career break for a year and did 2 years of part time.

I enjoyed mat leave and part time but I could not have become a SAHP for any longer than that. It would have driven me mad. I need to use my brain and have adult company and our solution worked for me/us.

This also meant neither of our careers suffered.

I didn't have a career - I had a job.
What I earned would have pretty much paid for the childcare so I didn't see the point of going back to work.
I have ended up being a SAHP for 15 years as my daughter has autism and other issues so I suppose I am a SAHP plus a Carer.
I have done volunteer work, been involved in community events, done a few parenting groups.
I have no particular desire to go back to paid work - I will if I have too but for now our modest family income is just about enough.
I have felt much more part of my community, more valued and more worthwhile than I ever did when working.

Been a SAHM for sixteen years now but last year started studying part time with the OU working towards a degree whilst all my children are in school. It's something I enjoy and I can pick it up Monday to Friday when I get peace to study on my own. I hope to return to work when youngest is 12/13 when wraparound care won't be required.

I'm not saying this to show off by any means but just to put it into perspective DH earn £100k while I am paid hourly and barely above minmum wage. Its a job ''career'' I've done since before my eldest was born - I qualified in 2011 and have never been more than £1 above minimum wage. Its a job with very little chance, close to zero, of progression and morale is very low. Its a job I can walk out of and go back into in years time. I worked in the job full time from 2009-2018 and only made £1800 pension so its a bit of a joke really. We have no mortgage, if DH dies we have insurance that pays me around £30k a year until the kids sare 18 and if he left I guess I would just get a minimum wage job somewhere and claim universal credit until the kids were older like other single mum's on low income do x

I’m currently SAHM after 18 months, and I’m eager to get back to work. I’m not excited about leaving 40% of my paycheck at a nursery, but I have no other choice if I want to progress in life.

I think if it was a job where I could climb a ladder I'd be more inclined to stay but it isn't, its a job where from 18 to 65 unless you went onto being a manager which is unlikely, you would more or less stay in the same role. We've even been told even if we do extra course this wouldn't guarentee a pay rise

I worked part time when my children were pre-school age. I'm glad I stayed in the work force as I wouldn't have progressed in my role so quickly had I had significant time away.

I went back to work 30hours per week after my first child and reduced it to 22.5 hours after my second. I'm still doing those hours with them both in primary, spread over 4 days so I work school hours.

I enjoy my job and my income is needed and if my husband left/ became unwell or died I could go up to full time at any time,

In your situation I would give being a SAHM a go. If you get bored or realise you miss your job you can go back when you want to.

I went back part time. I'm a teacher so have all the school holidays with her. To be honest, I don't know how people choose to do it full time- and my daughter is pretty 'easy'

Seems like a total no brainer to not go back.

Im in a similar situation, I’d like to go back part time as my job does have some progression but I have a feeling they will refuse. I will look for part time elsewhere as I want to keep my
pension going and keep my options open.

I have school age kids whom I home educate. I am self employed- work about 15 hours a week from home.

I’ve always worked full time, had 10 months mat leave both times.

I’ve been promoted 5 times since my youngest started school. I’m financially independent and I love my job. I wouldn’t have the career I have now if I’d have taken even a couple of years out.

I would hate to be reliant on someone for money and would be worried all my brain cells would disappear if I spent all day at home. My kids also really benefitted from nursery, when they started school you could absolutely tell the kids who spent the majority of their time at home with mum all day.

editing to add that IMO stay at home parents are only that until the kids go to school, after that you’re just a housewife. I’m not at all that kind of person.

I stayed home with ours until they were in school full time, then I worked full time.
My income was low and childcare for two would have negated what I earned.
Having that time was very precious, but we also went without a lot to make it happen.

I only work at the weekends and to be honest I find it quite boring being at home. The novelty wears off and despite going to several toddler groups it is kind of lonely? Unfortunately we need me to work and I don't think being a SAHP is that great if you are skint. As much as my job is one of those shitty jobs it gives me my own money. I am not cut out to be dependent on a man and getting an allowance! Also work gives me a break. I can have a coffee in peace. You might appreciate that later.

I work 4 days, full time. Senior management role in HE.
I love working and I am the main earner. I don’t want to be financially dependent on anyone, that’s a mugs game.