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AIBU?

Ungrateful breakfast

306 replies

Jckf · 26/01/2024 10:40

Name changed as I’ve mentioned it to a couple of people. I don’t know DPs Mum massively yet as we haven’t been together long, she’s come up to our city to visit and is staying at my house along with DP as I have a spare room.

Last night before bed she asked me if I wanted a hot breakfast making before work, I told her no thanks I will just have my usual weetabix. Woke up this morning to her at my door with breakfast… a weetabix with two poached eggs on top (no milk). I couldn’t bring myself to eat it because it looked disgusting. DP said don’t worry I will tell her you don’t like eggs on a morning and you can have your normal breakfast and took it downstairs. 5 minutes later she reappeared, two weetabix with crème fraiche and raisins. Again, vile. I just wanted weetabix with some milk in the microwave.

I don’t know her well enough to ask her to not fuck about with my breakfast and I want her to feel comfortable in my house, but I’m at work now and starving because I ended up leaving without eating. I do want DP to comment to her that I had said last night I didn’t want her making me breakfast. He just thinks it’s funny and started telling me the crap combinations they suffered as kids.

AIBU in wanting DP to nip this in the bud now or should I laugh along?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

2056 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
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You are NOT being unreasonable
68%
diddl · 26/01/2024 12:34

So did all the food have to be thrown away?

When he took the first offering downstairs how di he miss his mum making the next one?

Shame that you didn't have time to eat.

Why does she think that with poached eggs or creme fraiche is your "usual weetabix" I wonder?

Why didn't she check if she was so determined to make breakfast?

I suppose next time she just needs to be told no-do not do you any breakfast at all!

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MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 26/01/2024 12:36

Eggs on top of weetabix? 🤣 is she trying to poison you?

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LondonLass91 · 26/01/2024 12:37

Just say thank you, smile and eat some of it. It is what I tell my children to do if they are at someone's house and the don't like the food. It's your 'partner's' mum, so of course you should be polite and respectful.

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NutsForMutts · 26/01/2024 12:38

LOL I love her mad attempts - either that is deep craft passive-aggressiveness or she is really clueless.

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diddl · 26/01/2024 12:39

LondonLass91 · 26/01/2024 12:37

Just say thank you, smile and eat some of it. It is what I tell my children to do if they are at someone's house and the don't like the food. It's your 'partner's' mum, so of course you should be polite and respectful.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Sauvblanctime · 26/01/2024 12:41

Eggs on weetabix???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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betterangels · 26/01/2024 12:42

LondonLass91 · 26/01/2024 12:37

Just say thank you, smile and eat some of it. It is what I tell my children to do if they are at someone's house and the don't like the food. It's your 'partner's' mum, so of course you should be polite and respectful.

There's polite, and then there's eating these concoctions.

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Supertayto · 26/01/2024 12:45

That sounds bonkers, but in the grand scheme of things harmless. I’m normally all for drawing lines, setting boundaries and being direct, but she’s a guest in your home trying to do something nice for you. If she was moving in then sure, nip it in the bud. She’s not and this scenario will probably be pretty infrequent. Suck it up, OP. Or maybe her son could make you all breakfast tomorrow and everyone can eat something normal, not starve and no one gets offended.

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Supertayto · 26/01/2024 12:51

NutsForMutts · 26/01/2024 12:38

LOL I love her mad attempts - either that is deep craft passive-aggressiveness or she is really clueless.

I kinda hope it’s the former. That’s some genius-level war of attrition starting behaviour.

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cheddercherry · 26/01/2024 12:52

I think I’d react differently based on if she’s generally this overbearing with everything (who goes through someone’s cupboards on the first meeting/ stay over?) or if this is a one off bizarre breakfast fiasco.

It’s not far off my MIL who you can say something directly to like “oh no thank you I don’t want a sandwich” and she will just totally ignore you and unblinkingly make it and give it to you. It’s odd but totally her character, she will just do what she wants to weird ends. She also doesn’t stay over though so I can live with the madness at her house.

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moomoomoo27 · 26/01/2024 12:56

I feel like you need to source weird ideas for breakfasts from mumsnet so you can return the favour when you visit her.

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theDudesmummy · 26/01/2024 12:58

The OP hasn't come back yet to say if MIL is foreign/from a very different food culture. The only possible explanation I can think of for eggs on Weetabix is that she doesn't know what Weetabix is and thinks it's some kind of bread/muffin substitute. In which case it is endearing. If she is English or similar, and knows what Weetabix is, then I would perceive this as quite aggressive.

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Calendarspeaking · 26/01/2024 12:59

It is quite funny. Is she leticia from Vicar of Dibley?

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LemonShirts · 26/01/2024 13:01

You need to be clear you like to make your own stuff. Mine always wanted to make toast for me, she liked her toast totally burnt, cold, with a tiny bit of butter on it. She was offended I didn’t like it that way. It was like eating charcoal.

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FictionalCharacter · 26/01/2024 13:03

Good grief. Nip this in the bud! Next thing you know she’ll be “kindly” making bizarre dinners in your kitchen using ingredients you’ve bought for something else. And your boyfriend will laugh it off.

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TheSlantedOwl · 26/01/2024 13:05

She’s a grown up so treat her like one: MIL, it’s so lovely you want to help me in the mornings with my breakfast. But I only like my weetabix one way so I will do my own breakfast from now on. Thank you though!

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FictionalCharacter · 26/01/2024 13:06

LondonLass91 · 26/01/2024 12:37

Just say thank you, smile and eat some of it. It is what I tell my children to do if they are at someone's house and the don't like the food. It's your 'partner's' mum, so of course you should be polite and respectful.

She’s in her own house, not the partner’s mum’s house! She isn’t a guest!

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Klcak · 26/01/2024 13:11

Her behaviour is out of line, unless there is (quite a significant) cultural difference.

If not, I don't think it is funny at all. I think it is overbearing, intrusive, wasteful and inconvenient. OP had no breakfast and she has to replace the dinner ingredient that was wasted.

She sounds like she would be a ridiculously difficult MIL to deal with. Be careful. Your dp has already brushed it off instead of dealing with it.

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Klcak · 26/01/2024 13:13

LondonLass91 · 26/01/2024 12:37

Just say thank you, smile and eat some of it. It is what I tell my children to do if they are at someone's house and the don't like the food. It's your 'partner's' mum, so of course you should be polite and respectful.

Yes - fine at someone's house, eat a bit and be grateful.

OP is in her own home. This woman has gone into OP's cupboards/fridge and done weird stuff and wasted food so it's completely different and very weird.

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Emotionalsupportviper · 26/01/2024 13:15

QuestionableMouse · 26/01/2024 11:06

Hot milk on wheatabix is lovely, especially with a bit of brown sugar!

Oatibix is even nicer!

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scotscorner · 26/01/2024 13:17

EGGS ON WEETABIX!! 😂😂😂

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YouAndMeAndThem · 26/01/2024 13:18
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Resilience · 26/01/2024 13:20

The big question here is how OP's DP views his mother. Presumably the relationship is good if he sees her regularly, has invited her over and is happy to introduce her to the OP (if not, then OP has a DP problem not a would-be-MIL problem).

On that basis, I'd find this rather sweet if annoying in terms of food waste. I'd interpret it as her trying to do something nice for you to get you to like her. As a guest in your home she may see it as a way of repaying your hospitality.

I'd simply say, "Thank you so much for thinking of me and going to the trouble to do this. I'm very particular about how I like my breakfast though, so I'm very sorry but I can't eat that. Please don't worry about sorting something else out. I find it uncomfortable eating breakfast in bed anyway so I will come down and get my own shortly. Feel free to help yourself to it!"

If she then persists, you can be a bit more direct, maybe mentioning the food waste angle.

There are steps before a show down is required.

Years ago, I went for dinner at a BFs house to meet his mum and his mum served me a plate with a whole boiled leek on it, a large field mushroom and a fried egg! She was utterly batshit but I was very fond of her.

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blackpanth · 26/01/2024 13:21

Wheetabix and eggs 🤢🤣

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