My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Ungrateful breakfast

306 replies

Jckf · 26/01/2024 10:40

Name changed as I’ve mentioned it to a couple of people. I don’t know DPs Mum massively yet as we haven’t been together long, she’s come up to our city to visit and is staying at my house along with DP as I have a spare room.

Last night before bed she asked me if I wanted a hot breakfast making before work, I told her no thanks I will just have my usual weetabix. Woke up this morning to her at my door with breakfast… a weetabix with two poached eggs on top (no milk). I couldn’t bring myself to eat it because it looked disgusting. DP said don’t worry I will tell her you don’t like eggs on a morning and you can have your normal breakfast and took it downstairs. 5 minutes later she reappeared, two weetabix with crème fraiche and raisins. Again, vile. I just wanted weetabix with some milk in the microwave.

I don’t know her well enough to ask her to not fuck about with my breakfast and I want her to feel comfortable in my house, but I’m at work now and starving because I ended up leaving without eating. I do want DP to comment to her that I had said last night I didn’t want her making me breakfast. He just thinks it’s funny and started telling me the crap combinations they suffered as kids.

AIBU in wanting DP to nip this in the bud now or should I laugh along?

OP posts:
Report

Am I being unreasonable?

2056 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
32%
You are NOT being unreasonable
68%
GreenWallsAllFours · 26/01/2024 11:00

I'd hate this but I'm a miserable bastard who doesn't like people being in my house anyway

Report
Motnight · 26/01/2024 11:00

femfemlicious · 26/01/2024 10:55

Making people food is her love language. Why not tell her how you want it made.

But if food is her love language, what does eggs on Weetabix actually mean🤔

Report
GingerIsBest · 26/01/2024 11:03

femfemlicious · 26/01/2024 10:55

Making people food is her love language. Why not tell her how you want it made.

Aaah, this may well be true. But she will continue to want to do it her way I imagine. Op has to draw a line and say no to breakfast. Then let her MIL cook things that she actually does do well at other times perhaps.

My MIL, bless her, likes to ensure that DH has the food he likes. I could get annoyed when he comes home with random things that either we already have or that we could buy ourselves, but her and DH have this thing going and it works for them. And frankly, he's a human vacuum so it all gets eaten! She used to try and do it when staying with us but she'd buy things that I just wouldn't eat and it didn't matter how many times I told her I don't eat that, she only has two settings: buy nothing, or buy the things she thinks I like.

DS has a similar, but slightly different version of this with her - she loves that he's got a good appetite. But she can't get her head around the fact that he's a teenager who's a bit conscious about what he eats. So she'll offer him 2 croissants, a hot cross bun and 3 cans of Fanta. He says, "I can't go there mum, she makes me eat everything!!" Grin

Report
Lurkingandlearning · 26/01/2024 11:03

In that situation I think I might ask for the keys to DPs home and go and stay there till her last day because…. COVID still works for this kind of thing, doesn’t it?

Report
QuestionableMouse · 26/01/2024 11:06

NoMoreFalafelsForYou · 26/01/2024 10:58

Eggs on Weetabix 😂
Although tbf you sound just as bonkers warming your Weetabix milk up in the microwave 🤣

Hot milk on wheatabix is lovely, especially with a bit of brown sugar!

Report
Brefugee · 26/01/2024 11:07

femfemlicious · 26/01/2024 10:55

Making people food is her love language. Why not tell her how you want it made.

oh not the "love language" bollocks.
She's staying in someone's house. That someone declined breakfast but she ignored that. Not only ignored that but brought a disgusting combination that no sane person would eat. THEN BROUGHT UP ANOTHER.

Some may call it delightfully eccentric, i'd call it wasting food and being a twat. YMMV

And yes, of course OP is starving if she's used to have breakfast before work. It's not literal, it is a fairly typical thing people say.

Report
IBegYourBiggestPardon · 26/01/2024 11:08

Now I eat some weird food combinations, but even I draw the line on poached eggs on weetabix 🤢

Report
DontListenToWhatYouveConsumed · 26/01/2024 11:09

@JadziaD if this woman thinks eggs go with weetabix I really wouldn't want to see what dinner looks like 🤢
@Jckf definitely ask your partner to tell his mum you'll sort your own breakfast out, thank you.
Time will tell if she ignores your wishes (wastes more food) .
That would piss me off the most tbh.

Report
Jckf · 26/01/2024 11:10

QuestionableMouse · 26/01/2024 11:06

Hot milk on wheatabix is lovely, especially with a bit of brown sugar!

This is exactly what I have!!

OP posts:
Report
MarnieMarnie · 26/01/2024 11:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

LakeTiticaca · 26/01/2024 11:11

Motnight · 26/01/2024 10:51

Is she Mrs Doyle?

Gwaan gwaan gwaann gwaaaaannnnnn 🤣🤣🤣

Report
CurlewKate · 26/01/2024 11:12

To be honest-weetabix in the microwave doesn't sound much better!

But just say that you like to get completely ready before you have breakfast and you'll
come down for it. No need for it to be a big deal.

Report
femfemlicious · 26/01/2024 11:14

Brefugee · 26/01/2024 11:07

oh not the "love language" bollocks.
She's staying in someone's house. That someone declined breakfast but she ignored that. Not only ignored that but brought a disgusting combination that no sane person would eat. THEN BROUGHT UP ANOTHER.

Some may call it delightfully eccentric, i'd call it wasting food and being a twat. YMMV

And yes, of course OP is starving if she's used to have breakfast before work. It's not literal, it is a fairly typical thing people say.

Where I'm from, we value, respect and give allowance to our elders. This us a partners mother, not a lady off the street. No one is perfect and we all have our foibles. This is harmless and makes her happy to cook for people.

Report
CharlotteBog · 26/01/2024 11:16

See now I think there’s some people that would appreciate this sort of thing but I’d hate it.

Eggs in Weetabix?

Please make yourself known!

Report
Whoopsadoodle · 26/01/2024 11:16

I would just say to her, that you genuinely appreciate the effort she went into making you breakfast, but that you’re quite particular and like it a certain way so you’ll make it yourself in future. But thank her again for thinking of you.

Say it now so you don’t hide/waste food, that’s just silly.

Report
AdoraBell · 26/01/2024 11:17

Tell her that you don’t eat upstairs/in bed and that you will do you own breakfast when you feel hungry.

It does seem like she wants to help, but also over stepping. Nip this in the bud or it will become a big problem. Better to bite the bullet now than become resentful.

Report
CharlotteBog · 26/01/2024 11:18

Where I'm from, we value, respect and give allowance to our elders. This us a partners mother, not a lady off the street. No one is perfect and we all have our foibles. This is harmless and makes her happy to cook for people.

It's a waste of good food.
Does the respect not work both ways?
I would like my (quite reasonable) breakfast choices to be respected.

Report
Namerequired · 26/01/2024 11:18

AIBU in wanting DP to nip this in the bud now or should I laugh along?

😂😂 Can’t you do both? Weetabix and poached eggs 😂🤢

Report
MrsSkylerWhite · 26/01/2024 11:19

I like the sound of her, a bit nuts but well-meaning.

Report
thedancingparrot · 26/01/2024 11:19

She is either eccentric or testing your manners and patience. Ask DP for past examples of what she has made for breakfast.

Report
Needmorelego · 26/01/2024 11:20

Why can't you just talk to her.
You're an adult.
She's an adult.
"No offence mil but you do some odd Weetabix combos. I just like milk on mine ta"

Report
EeeewDavid · 26/01/2024 11:21

You definitely need to get it sorted now. I spent years eating a couple of foods my Dad used to make me because I didn't have the heart to tell him I hated them. He thought I loved them. He was lovely like that, I couldn't ruin that for him.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

RampantIvy · 26/01/2024 11:21

JadziaD · 26/01/2024 10:47

I think you have to be firm and clear, "Thank you for trying to help but really, I like my breakfast a very specific way and I prefer to make it myself - otherwise it just gets wasted."

If you want to be nice, you could suggest she makes dinner or do something if it seems like she wants to be helpful.

I think your DP needs to have your back but actually, this is a conversation that in the first instance, YOU must have with her. He's been letting her do this sort of thing his whole life, she's not going to listen to him. Your relationship with her needs to be established now so that you both know what you like/don't like.

This ^^ is the best response.

Although, I don't know why you didn't just go down and make your breakfast the way you like it after the first attempt rather than martyr yorself and go without.

Report
Namechangenamechange321 · 26/01/2024 11:22

OP do you not find it even the tiniest bit funny? Obviously annoying (and suggests she has a really thick skin) but also pretty funny.

Report
Bunnyhair · 26/01/2024 11:22

Motnight · 26/01/2024 11:00

But if food is her love language, what does eggs on Weetabix actually mean🤔

😂😂I need to know!! What was she trying to communicate?


Seriously though. When people talk about ‘love languages’ it’s just an attempt to coerce others into submitting to their batshit pushy behaviour or OTT expectations.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.