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AIBU?

Ungrateful breakfast

306 replies

Jckf · 26/01/2024 10:40

Name changed as I’ve mentioned it to a couple of people. I don’t know DPs Mum massively yet as we haven’t been together long, she’s come up to our city to visit and is staying at my house along with DP as I have a spare room.

Last night before bed she asked me if I wanted a hot breakfast making before work, I told her no thanks I will just have my usual weetabix. Woke up this morning to her at my door with breakfast… a weetabix with two poached eggs on top (no milk). I couldn’t bring myself to eat it because it looked disgusting. DP said don’t worry I will tell her you don’t like eggs on a morning and you can have your normal breakfast and took it downstairs. 5 minutes later she reappeared, two weetabix with crème fraiche and raisins. Again, vile. I just wanted weetabix with some milk in the microwave.

I don’t know her well enough to ask her to not fuck about with my breakfast and I want her to feel comfortable in my house, but I’m at work now and starving because I ended up leaving without eating. I do want DP to comment to her that I had said last night I didn’t want her making me breakfast. He just thinks it’s funny and started telling me the crap combinations they suffered as kids.

AIBU in wanting DP to nip this in the bud now or should I laugh along?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

2056 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
32%
You are NOT being unreasonable
68%
RampantIvy · 26/01/2024 11:24

Where I'm from, we value, respect and give allowance to our elders.

That doesn't mean the OP can't politely request her partner's mum not to make breakfast. Where I'm from throwing away perfectly good food is a complete waste of money.

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Moier · 26/01/2024 11:24

Reminds me of Mrs Cropley in Vicar of Dibley with her weired food combinations.
Marmite cakes and cod roe with with chocolate etc
🤣

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User1789 · 26/01/2024 11:25

femfemlicious · 26/01/2024 10:55

Making people food is her love language. Why not tell her how you want it made.

She did. She told her she wants to make it herself.

OP, you are going to get torn to shreds by Camp A who will insist she is 'endearingly bonkers' and Camp B who will insist she is passive aggressive.

You actually just need to not go down the rabbit hole, eat your breakfast of your choosing and making and go to work, and then pull your DH up on allowing his mother to be this weird even when told to stop, when you get a moment.

For what it is worth, I have a MIL in Camp B who I no longer see, who would try to start World War III over breakfast in various bizarre ways sometimes involving breakfast food. Which is why I am bothering to respond to your thread.

It is particuarly discombobulating to have to deal with mad/bad people before you have even made it out of your room in the morning, and people not put in this scenario will underestimate just how unpleasant this behaviour could have come across to you. She may be counting on this. Or she may not. You will never know. But you do need to protect yourself in this scenario.

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Revelwithacause · 26/01/2024 11:26

You have to do it there and then. ‘Oh thanks but I’m really just after weetabix and milk, you have that.’ Then go and make it in front of her.

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Bunnyhair · 26/01/2024 11:26

Also: this is not endearing behaviour, this is hugely passive aggressive. On some level she’s trolling you. You’ve politely said no, you’ve said what you prefer to have and that you’d prefer to make it yourself, and twice she comes up giving you some grotesque parody of your breakfast.

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EarringsandLipstick · 26/01/2024 11:26

I voted YABU

Of course it's annoying but in an 🙄type, wtf type of way.

She sounds a little deranged, of course you wouldn't eat it but you sound like you are completely over-reacting.

Tell her firmly, yes (not to make you breakfast). If she does, don't eat it, silently be a bit irritated by the waste, and make yourself something else. Why on earth are you 'starving'? Either get something in your own house or on the way to work.

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CarterBeatsTheDevil · 26/01/2024 11:27

My mouth feels dry just thinking about weetabix with creme fraiche and raisins. Eggs on dry Weetabix is too awful to think about full stop!

You're going to have to say something, OP (or get up before her and be eating your breakfast prepared the way you want it when she appears)

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Sera1989 · 26/01/2024 11:27

He just thinks it’s funny and started telling me the crap combinations they suffered as kids.

Please share some of the combinations with us!

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NoBinturongsHereMate · 26/01/2024 11:27

femfemlicious · 26/01/2024 10:55

Making people food is her love language. Why not tell her how you want it made.

Nonsense.

There's nothing loving about doing something you've been specifically told not to do, or doing something because it makes you happy.

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Zone2NorthLondon · 26/01/2024 11:29

Wet boak reading the dry weetabix and poached egg
I feel your pain I don’t like anyone mucking about with my breakfast and a Weetabix with cold milk and banana that’s it, Nowt else no faff

I’m afraid you’re actually going to have to lately but directly tell her that you like your breakfast specifically and you’d prefer that there weren’t any amendments made because if there are you wouldn’t be able to eat it

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RowanMayfair · 26/01/2024 11:29

Jckf · 26/01/2024 10:49

In addition I now need to buy more crème fraiche on the way home from work because there probably won’t be enough now for tonight’s meal.

Yeah see this isn't endearing, it would piss me right off. I hate food waste and I know what I buy and what for, and how long it should last. She's wasted several weetabix, an egg and some crème fraiche, and led you to have to go to a shop that you didn't plan to. Maybe tell DP to go and buy the crème fraiche. What a PITA.

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RampantIvy · 26/01/2024 11:30

this is hugely passive aggressive.

I disagree. I feel that this phrase is overused a lot on mumsnet.

I think she is probably trying too hard and failing spectacularly to endear herself to the OP. I agree that it is an odd combination though.

In my case I would eat the eggs and leave the weetabix which, IMO, is disgusting. When milk is added it just becomes a soggy cardboard mess.

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JohnMytton · 26/01/2024 11:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Whyohwhywyoming · 26/01/2024 11:32

NoMoreFalafelsForYou · 26/01/2024 10:58

Eggs on Weetabix 😂
Although tbf you sound just as bonkers warming your Weetabix milk up in the microwave 🤣

i don’t like it my self but a lot of people have warm milk and weetabix, I’ve never met anyone who chucks eggs on top

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Whyohwhywyoming · 26/01/2024 11:35

I have really busy days at work and sometimes don’t get time to eat. Having the breakfast I want to start the day is important to me and it would really bother me if I didn’t have it because someone I have specifically told not to make me breakfast made it anyway. And then I’d be stressed every morning that I wouldn’t be able to just get up and eat. Sounds v. Annoying, I don’t understand why your DH won’t say anything n

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Threewheeler1 · 26/01/2024 11:36

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 26/01/2024 11:27

My mouth feels dry just thinking about weetabix with creme fraiche and raisins. Eggs on dry Weetabix is too awful to think about full stop!

You're going to have to say something, OP (or get up before her and be eating your breakfast prepared the way you want it when she appears)

I'd struggle to swallow it, if I could even persuade my mouth to open so it goes in!😫
The idea of it first thing in the morning, god no. Sorry, but I'd be climbing out the bedroom window.

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TorroFerney · 26/01/2024 11:37

NoMoreFalafelsForYou · 26/01/2024 10:58

Eggs on Weetabix 😂
Although tbf you sound just as bonkers warming your Weetabix milk up in the microwave 🤣

I will give you my Weetabix (well they aren't Weetabix they are Aldi's own) preparation details then - 2 Weetabix with boiling water on and collagen powder (yes I know it probably does nothing). Once the boiling water has been soaked up by the Weetabix I add milk which doesn't mix it in kind of sits on top. I cannot tell you how much I love it.

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NonPlayerCharacter · 26/01/2024 11:38

This reminds me of a poster a while ago whose mother intentionally ruined Christmas dinner every year because she'd built up a self-image of someone who was so charmingly, endearingly scatty and her disaster dinners were oh-so-hilarious.

Might something like that be going on here? Since your partner seems to have bought into the idea that his childhood was full of hilariously crap food?

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goneaway2 · 26/01/2024 11:43

Put an A La Cart Kitchen in the spare room.

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MotherOfHouseplants · 26/01/2024 11:44

How long is not long? It sounds like you don't yet live together but it must be quite serious if he is a 'partner'. It is quite odd that you have her as a house guest early on to be honest. Is it a cultural expectation?

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Trulyme · 26/01/2024 11:47

YABU and over reacting.

She’s a guest in your home and was trying to do something nice.

I would have said thanks and taken the food (and gave it to DH) and then gone downstairs to say thanks again for the breakfast and then make a ‘second’ breakfast because you’re extra hungry.

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Somepeoplearesnippy · 26/01/2024 11:47

Jckf · 26/01/2024 11:10

This is exactly what I have!!

Who would have thought there'd be 2 of you utter nutters?

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PuddlesPityParty · 26/01/2024 11:48

femfemlicious · 26/01/2024 11:14

Where I'm from, we value, respect and give allowance to our elders. This us a partners mother, not a lady off the street. No one is perfect and we all have our foibles. This is harmless and makes her happy to cook for people.

Dear god. Doesn’t matter if she’s an “elder” she should listen to what she’s been told.

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Parentofeanda · 26/01/2024 11:50

Sorry but eggs on weetabix IS VILE!!! Who thinks thats normal? you dont put eggs on cereal :S

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Folklore9074 · 26/01/2024 11:50

Bit odd (and annoying) that she would take it upon herself to cook your food for you in your house. Just very nicely and politely tell her to stop. If anything she’s your guest and you should be making her breakfast!

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