How could we have aged so much in 5 years?

[Obsessedwiththisseries]

Dh and I are both 45, I got pregnant at age 39 after years of infertility. We travelled lots, went to festivals, were full of everything and looked great.
Fast forward to now, we’re tired, just all the time, we usually have some complaints…aching all over, feeling unwell etc etc. He’s aged looks wise quite a lot, but I’m worse, I have grey hairs, when I had zero, even two years ago, puffy eyes all over, I look terrible and feel terrible physically.
We love our life with Dd and have what should be an amazing, beautiful life…
Looking back at even age 41 feels like another person, a young person, one who had energy, rarely felt ill and looked pretty good in general.
How is this possible

@pineapplecrushed In what way

I never smoked and hardly drank, and pretty much looked the same for years. When 45 hit, my skin changed (more saggy, not wrinkles), muscle tone - your muscles just go flabby, my eyesight went to shit.....it all just happens lol..... tiredness, but also insomnia.

Depends on the mirror and lighting too. I’m nearly 59 and went to the hairdresser this week.

OMG to see myself in the salon mirror….. and I’m well past child rearing stage.

it’s just a big fat lie !!!! 😂😂😂

Look at your diet and fluid intake.

It does age you the kids aspect

Stress or just genetics

I had my 1st child at 35 after years of fertility treatment. Being pregnant takes a huge toll on your body at that age. I started to go grey immediately. I would say that it was a good time for me regarding my maturity and life experience to have a child, and has given me a younger outlook on life. I had a 2nd at 37 and after a dificult birth, a year of anaemia and low immunity, i cannot even remember the 1st year of his life and have ongoing hip problems. He's now 27. I dont regret it at all overall. My children are tolerant and informed and teach me a lot. Because of their influence i have friends younger than my kids. One ofnthem jokes I'm oldernthan her nan, but very different in attitude

Parenthood + being over 40. A picture came up on FB the other day of me and DP 5 years ago and we have really aged! We're around your age and have older children ... perimenopause is kicking my arse and if I was crossing 40 having just had a baby it would have been worse!

All these people saying childbearing doesn't age you are simply wrong! Now perhaps a few lucky ones escape it, but there are many physiological changes directly caused pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum, and many of these will in turn lead a woman to look and feel older. Examples from my experiences were:

• Pregnancy hormones affecting teeth leading to multiple dental procedures and teeth ultimately looking and feeling worse

• pregnancy weakening back (large baby), and c-section ruining abdominal muscles leading to multiple back problems, poor posture and pain since

• hair falling out, bald patches and thinning after childbirth (very common)

• nails breaking for same reasons

• boobs sagging after breast milk finishes (due to stretched ligaments after swelling in pregnancy and not as a result of breastfeeding which is a myth)

• stretch marks

• existing bunions made worse due to pregnancy

Added to the above:

• mum tum / usual weight gain
• tiredness / dark eye bags
• poor skin due to tiredness

Now if you can rock all of the above and not look or feel any older then you know something I don't!

I looked youthful, quite pretty and shapely on my 40th birthday; I'm 55 now and look like one of the MacBeth hags.
It's probably not coincidental that I have 5 DC though.

💯 being a parent. Get a good skincare routine and botox!

None of us can escape aging but we can help ourselves to not look terrible.

Focus on hair, skin and weight.
I found intermittent fasting really good. Fasting has anti aging benefits as well as weight loss.

Good hair oil or conditioner, moisturiser, multi vits exercise and plenty of water all help.

I might be biased but my mother always looked beautiful with wonderful skin and she has only visibly begun to look quite different from her late 50s. She had kids in her mid 20s though - she positively glowed when we were young.

Noticed friends of mine looking older even without children recently. I think it depends on the person, their stress tolerance, lifestyle, fitness. It seems life will catch up on everyone, just depends when!