Aibu to not let him dress like a girl?

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Lo is 11 and has ASD (not sure if that's relevant). He's told me he is trans, wants me to buy him dresses, make up, hair extensions etc. This is the first time he has come out and said it although he has made comments about girls clothing being better etc over the past year so I had a feeling this was coming. Not sure how to approach this. My worry is if I do allow him to dress like a girl he will get picked on, he already struggles socially and has been bullied in the past. Also if this is just a phase and he changes his mind, people will not forget and he will have to live with that. Also he will be starting secondary school in September which will be a really tough transition for him. With his ASD he tends to become fixated/obsessed with a topic for months but then it's forgotten about and hes onto the next thing so wondering is this just the latest obsession. Just wondering what others would do if their 11 year old told them they where trans or if anyone else has been in this situation? Aibu to not let him dress as a girl?

He's at primary school. I'd say makeup and hair extensions are out purely for that reason alone. If he wants to grow his hair, let him.

Is is possible for boys to dress like girls without having to want to be one?

I have been wearing men's clothes for years and nobody bats and eyelid.

Same, mens hoodies, jumpers and t shirts are far more comfortable IMO especially if you don’t want form fitting clothes.

I can’t stand how regressive all this is. Men used to wear tights and heels, in some countries men wear robes, kilts in Scotland etc. I thought we’d really come far when you looked at how boundaries were pushed in the 80/90s especially in music and media.

Clothes have no gender unless made for a certain body part eg a bra for breasts (yes I know men can wear them but they’re predominantly made for females, especially useful for pain management when growing breasts or nursing) and certain boxers/briefs to keep male genitalia in place which again could be considered comfort/pain management.

Define male?

Pre the radical grooming of children in this area, you might have the odd trans kid, but the radical surge in this movement certainly isn't a coincidence.

There are no trans kids. It's all down to grooming. Trans kids were invented as a human shield for men who discovered their inner woman later in life, usually in middle age after marrying a woman and fathering her children. In order for the rest of the world not to see these men as a joke or as perverts or fetishists, they needed to be able to point at children and say 'look, I was just like that as a child', because people are obviously sympathetic towards a confused child.

Middle aged men with AGP are nothing like these confused children who are being fed gender bullshit online and even at school. And it's disgusting that these men are getting away with encouraging children down a path leading to sterility and poor health, just to protect those men from criticism of their chosen lifestyle.

She clearly means in this context without question around their gender. What does a definition help with exactly?

People probably have noticed, and not given it a thought, let alone say anything to you - why would they? I have younger male cousins who've worn narrow jeans and polo shirts designed for women 🤷‍♀️
If however you were to wear something from the men's department that was designed for a 6.5 foot, broad shouldered bloke, you would look ridiculous. In the same way a 6.5 foot broad shouldered bloke looks ridiculous in hot pants and a tank top.

Its perfectly reasonable to want to rip up the rule book on all this stuff, but it would seem the majority don't want to. The majority are happy with the differences. Personally I like how my husband looks in clothes cut for a man, and he does too. Its just about aesthetics (and a little bit of fashion); reasons that are really quite dull and unremarkable.

My DS went through a stage of wearing a school dress from the lost property box at school! Kept choosing it when he got mucky outside and needed a change of clothes.

honestly? No one ever even blinked - the only people that ever commented were other parents (in a nice “he is so sweet” way) and the teachers who kept telling me he chose that himself. they kept asking if he was ok/comfortable/wanted to change

I worried about the same things as you and I can honestly say the person who made the biggest deal about it was me in my head.

I would go with the flow and do what other PPs suggested- some small changes that let your DC have a little play with what they like to wear without going too crazy and keep a close eye on things without making a fuss

Well that’s the point isn’t it. Her nephew being male is not the same as her niece thinking she is male.

What absolute scaremongering nonesense

Yes definitely. In the old days it was just called cross dressing, and there are still plenty of perfectly happy males who enjoy it.

"Hey child, hair extensions and make-up aren't appropriate for a child of 11. Girl or boy. But if you want to grow your hair out long, that's fine. And if you want to come clothes shopping with me with the summer stuff is out and chose some things, that's fine as well."

I wouldn't blanket say no. As other posters have said, the forbidden just becomes even more exciting.

It's all scaremongering bollocks isn't it? I hate how they trot out the "you won't have a kid" bullshit line.

"Michael Biggs analysed the Tavistock GIDS and national suicide figures and found that suicide amongst young children in England and Wales is, thankfully, vanishingly rare and there is no evidence that there is a high rate among trans-identified children. In teenagers there are other conditions that carry a higher suicide risk, including anorexia, depression and autism.11 The Samaritans reported this year that suicides among teenage girls and young women between the ages of 10 and 24 have almost doubled in seven years, increasing by 94 per cent since 2012.12 All of these factors may be significant when considering the adolescents who are being referred to the Tavistock GIDS"