That if your male child has shoulder length hair it's reasonable to expect other kids will pass comment?

[mrsfinch6]

Dropping DS5 and DS3 off at nursery this morning when the nursery manager took me aside and wanted to “discuss an incident that happened yesterday” I was a bit confused because when I had collected them both the day before everything was fine.

The “incident” was that there is a little boy at nursery with shoulder length, curly blonde hair, and DS3 has been calling him a girl.

The parent of this child went into nursery this morning to report to the staff that my DS was calling him a girl. The nursery manager wanted my assurances that I would be firm with DS at home and have “the conversation” regarding this.

AIBU to say that if you have a 4 year old male child with long blonde hair that it is realistic to expect that other children in that age group will pass comment?

DS3 is very much of the opinion that “pink is for girls, blue is for boys, girls wear dresses and boys wear trousers etc” he only likes typical boys toys, whereas DS5 is a bit less bothered, he picked a pink scooter and is partial to a unicorn, I don’t encourage or discourage either way, however I do believe in sex not gender and whilst I appreciate there are a multitude of reasons why this child has long hair, I don’t think it’s my 3 year olds issue tbh

They are very young kids and yes I have spoken to him and reiterated that we don’t tease other kids and that it’s not kind to pass comment on others appearance but honestly? Reporting it to the nursery? Talk about extreme.

I think the OP might be someone who thinks ‘sex not gender’ = conservative

What a shit parent! Boys can have long hair and girls can have short hair - you teaching him otherwise is the cause of his tormenting another child.

This is your fault and worse, your reaction shows you don't care. I feel so bad for who you're raising.

There’s no quite rightly about it. Boys can have long hair and girls can have short hair. Just parent your child and tell them that the other child is a boy and to refer to him as that.

As he is so young do what a Mother is meant to do AND TEACH HIM THAT WHAT HE IS SAYING IS UNKIND

Yes, YABU

Change hair for overweight, short, disabled etc. See how not acceptable it is now?

Yep. Teach your child not to target people for how they look.

I have spoken with DS and explained that some boys have long hair and regardless of hair length it is not kind to tease any of the children in his nursery class.

I will again reiterate that my child is 3 years of age and all of the commenters on this post must be perfect parents with perfect children.

He has not been "repeatedly teasing" this child, he has passed comment on one particular day (obviously as far as I am aware) and it has now been raised to me so I've addressed it.

I still stand by my original statement that if a 4 year old child has shoulder length, curly blonde hair then it is to be expected that other children in that age group will pass comment.

Unless of course they are the perfect children of al the posters so far on this thread 🙄

You didn't activate the voting process, OP, but, yes, YABVU.

Have you educated him about religious Sikh men & boys and their hair?

There’s a difference between making a genuine mistake and being mean.
Yes your child is young and impressionable. He’s also picking up your prejudice and views. It’s a big responsibility.

What's that got to do with the OP's post, though?

Your kid can have whatever haircut they like. Short hair for girls isn't particularly fashionable right now, but lots of little girls had short hair when I was a kid and I'm sure it will come back into fashion again.

I'm pretty sure that if the OP's son had been calling a little girl 'a boy' because she had short hair, people would be giving her the same responses.

My adult sons rugby players have worn pink kit, leisure clothing, teeshirts, shorts. They've always said when challenged

"Real men wear pink". 😂😂

I think the OP needs educating first!

You are not GC.
YABU OP.

@mrsfinch6 im calling BS

You out in your post he has been calling him a girl

not he called him a girl

calling is plural

I agree with this, and with the other posters saying similar things, @mrsfinch6. It is patently ridiculous to believe that boys all have short hair and girls all have long hair. I have short hair - but I can assure you I am most definitely female.

Your son is upsetting his classmate by repeatedly calling him a girl - and you seem to think that there is nothing wrong with what he is doing. But whilst it may be a bit soon to be calling a 3-year-old a bully, if you don't correct this behaviour now, he WILL go on to become a bully. He needs to learn that it is not acceptable to tease someone about their appearance (or anything else, for that matter) if it is upsetting them - and it is your job to teach him. Don't carry on failing at that job.

Did he just say girl as a mistaken fact or girl / being girly as an insult? 1st is ok (though prob worth broadening his mind a bit as I'm sure he'll start encountering girls with short hair/wearing shorts/etc – and he won't survive in school or at work if this bothers him so much), 2nd you need to reflect on your parenting

He is a very young child who (quite rightly) thinks that boys have short hair and girls have long hair.

Quite rightly? So a boy should have to lop off a naturally occurring body part to adhere to gender ideals, or risk being targeted by others? And a girl shouldn’t have her hair cut short because it’s boyish?

Nah. I can see where he’s getting it from now, though…

Well done, you’ve raised a bully ☺️

What did I just read?!!!!! I haven't even got any words.

And there we have it ..

You need to not just educate you son , but also yourself. Of course girls have short hair and boys long ( it's very much a look)

Ok he's 3 but don't let him think he's right because he's not!!

Yea I have had a very in depth discussion with my 3 years about Sikh men and the intricacies of their hair length.

Ffs honestly 🙄

Can hand on heart say my 3 year old does not equate hair length with girl/boy. Not because I am some super parent but because it’s never really come up.

My DS is 2 and has curly blonde hair which I’ve never cut. People always confuse him for a girl even when he’s wearing his blue pram suit! It doesn’t bother me and DS is too young to understand but people calling him a girl or asking me if he’s a girl has become a daily thing. It’s mad how society just associates blonde curly locks to girls! Sorry not a helpful comment to OP but I guess it is still 1950 for most people 🙈

I've got a girl child using a name with a "boy" shortening who wears her hair short. Some small kids just cannot get their heads around the idea that she's a girl. They're not trying to be mean - they're just living in a very gendered universe not of their making. I'm with your three year old - he just needs reminding.

Love how the OP is now throwing rocks at all our "perfect children" just because we disagree with her.

OP, my kids are a right pain in the arse sometimes. Very far from perfect. But - that's not the point, and you're still massively in the wrong. HTH.