I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

The reality is that the child will say whatever he is brought up to say. Unless you plan to ignore him every time he calls you "Granny" you will have to accept this.

Why don't you just have them call you by your actual name?

My mum has made my children call her by her first name since they could talk. So no granny or nana or Gran or anything like it. I think it's terrible and mean of her but what could i do.

But surely you can moot a more acceptable to you compromise?
Just not Nonna.

It is THEIR child, so it is actually under their control.

If you don't like being called Granny, just be called by your name. No need for a 'title/honorific/job description'.

Well I am of the opinion that everyone gets to choose what they are called. You don't generally get unwanted nicknames thrust upon you in other contexts. We asked the GPs what they wanted to be called.

That said, if the baby is yet to be born I would definitely not push the issue just yet. New parents are a special breed of crazy. Just be a supportive and respectful GP and then by the time the little one is learning to talk they might be less controlling about it.

Nothing wrong at ALL with wanting to be called nonna @Moira1951 and I am not sure why you are getting such a hard time on here. My neighbour (and her 4 siblings) always called their grandmother nonna. Oldest one called it her instead of nanna when she was a toddler, and it stuck.

I want to be known as nana, (when I a am grandmother) and I will never be answering to GRANNY.

If your family don't want their child to call you nonna though Moira, I am not sure if there is anything you can do about it.

I'm amazed how many people seem to think people shouldn't have a choice over what they are called! My DM picked Nana which was fine, I had a nana and grandma growing up and my MIL got creative and I eyerolled but it's up to her. Just a note though, the bit where you do get overruled is if your grandkid comes up with something! My DF went through a phase of being Dander cos my littlest couldn't say the official title

Unless you are from an Italian family no this is not acceptable. It implies something that you are not. I used to live next door to a wonderful Nonna speaking Italian to all her grand babies.

If grandma is already taken that leaves granny or nanny both of which are lovely. I’d go for nanny myself.

Well I certainly got a choice. As long as you don’t want to be called mummy or something similar than I don’t see the problem.

My grandmother was called nanma, because my oldest cousin couldn’t say nana or grandma and came up with that. Your grandchild will choose what they call you, call yourself Nonna and your son can say granny and then as they get older they will make their choice.

Yeah I agree. A person should at least have a BIT of a say in what they are being called. The OP is not being unreasonable !!

I've changed my vote to yabu on reading that you have no Italian connection!

Be happy to be granny (or grandma or nana or nanny or whatever) . It's such a privilege. As is growing older - so many people never have the chance.

I'm not Italian but grew up with Italian family friends – "Nonna" actually brings me warm memories of plump, grey/white haired grandmotherly old ladies :-)

"I just don’t feel like a granny" is totally weird logic to me. You ARE a grandparent. It's like a young woman saying she wants her children to call her by her first name, or "Babe" or something.

You should use whatever title you want and just hope your grandchild will use it, ultimately they will decide what to call you. Lots of people don't like granny, I know a few mamies, mimis, and momos.

You better NOT call my Grandmother Granny. It was a sure way to wind her up when we were children was to call her granny. She is well into her 80’s and loves her grandchildren and great-grandchildren calling to see her. honestly think your son is overstepping here. I don’t get the Nonna thing because your not Italian but you will be the one responding to it when the child is older.

Yanbu I think people should get to choose what they want to be called.

The Queen being called GanGan was more than likely an organically landed on nickname, that's different to your suggestion. Gigi is just plain weird - GG for a great granny is lovely but Gigi for a grandmother is odd.

Keep your fingers crossed for a nickname coming out of funny pronunciation.

YABU imo, my father in law wanted to be called pa, and we felt it was too similar to dad so insisted on grandpa - it ruffled out in laws feathers but it was ultimately what we felt comfortable with. It was also good to put our foot down early on in setting boundaries.

Ooooh I love nanma!

Also I would hate to be called Granny too, it’s very harsh. I would rather just be called my first name than something I hated.

A name is a term of affection. I find it odd that anyone would insist on a name that the person to whom it referred found ill fitting for whatever reason.
Sometimes something just irks and whether you can rationally justify that or it's just an accumulation of associations that don't feel like 'you' is irrelevant.

When my DC were born we had a chat with the gp's and jointly picked one they were happy with. Why on earth would you impose an unwanted name!!

Even if they think Nonna is rubbish, they're are plenty of alternatives they could invent or choose.

The only time you get to foist a name on someone is when they are born and have no opinion or say and even then, some reject it later in life.

My kids have nanny and Avo / Portuguese for Grandma,

Wish I were Portuguese so could be known as Avo! 🥑

Don't stress it. The child will call you whatever they can pronounce, and that will stick.