My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

I want to be called Nonna but….

1000 replies

Moira1951 · 23/01/2024 10:00

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

2616 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
35%
You are NOT being unreasonable
65%
Sapphire387 · 23/01/2024 10:01

Are you Italian?

Hoardasurass · 23/01/2024 10:04

Moira1951 · 23/01/2024 10:00

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

No you don't get a choice if you want a relationship with your grandchild. It like every other decision about how this child is raised is up to the parents not you

KimberleyClark · 23/01/2024 10:04

I know someone who wanted to be called Nonna because she thought grandma/granny/nana sounded too old. No Italian connections at all. All seems a bit pretentious to me.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 23/01/2024 10:04

I don't think you necessarily get to choose, but if you are Italian I understand you may have been waiting to be a Nonna and be a bit disappointed not to be called that.

CharlesChickens · 23/01/2024 10:04

I asked the grandparents what they wanted to be called, I think it is up to you. Also I assume that you are Italian, so it is nice to keep your cultural name. Why is your son saying you have to be Granny ?

trippily · 23/01/2024 10:05

No it's not up to you to pick yourself a cutsie nickname. I think you would have mentioned if you were Italian. Don't cause conflict with your son at this exciting time for him by trying to seize control.

Angelik · 23/01/2024 10:05

Nonna is fine if you're Italian otherwise odd. Aside from that you shld be deciding what you are called. I asked my mum and my nan and everyone was happy!

TyneTeas · 23/01/2024 10:05

If your family has cultural connections to being called Nonna, probably not unreasonable

Otherwise if you have just picked it as something you fancy as, like my mother, you just didn't see yourself as a gran/grandma etc then you may need to have another think...

Illpickthatup · 23/01/2024 10:05

In my experience it's not up to you or the parents, a toddler will call you want they want 🤣.

My mum and dad wanted to be gran and granda. My nephew calls them Granny gran and Grampa.

I'd say you have more say over it that your son. It's you that's going to be called the name not him so why does he care so much?

Welshcake15 · 23/01/2024 10:06

Have a name you feel comfortable with. If you like Nonna, then call yourself Nonna. My DC have a Nonna and we're not Italian, it was just the name that their grandmother wanted to be known as out of the options.

tenpoundpombear · 23/01/2024 10:07

Did your son call your parents Nonna and Nonno? If he called them granny and grandad then maybe he doesn't understand why you'd all of a sudden want to use the Italian words.

chandlerbytrade · 23/01/2024 10:08

My parents and PIL decided on what they wanted to be called. So my PIL was Grandma Surname but my Mum's MIL was awful so there was no way she was going to be called Grandma surname same as her and so instead she was Grandma and her first initial which then made my Dad Grandad but surname initial as he chose it.

Why wouldn't a grandparent choose the name? Any other suggestions except Nonna? Do you know why your son has said no to it? I would not want to be called granny on any planet.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/01/2024 10:08

My Mum is Nonna but she is Italian…

We have a relative by marriage (sort of thing) who is not Italian at all but has picked this - it does seem a bit daft when you don’t have heritage from a country to be addressed in that language.

I do also agree it’s up to the parents what the children call their GPs, not the GPs themselves. GPs choosing a name for themselves is not something past generations would even have thought about.

Im very happy to be granny (or whatever) when my time comes - if it comes!

Nttttt · 23/01/2024 10:08

nanna is fine but nonna only works if you’re Italian… if not it’s kinda weird.

It would be as odd as asking to be called abuela when you’re not Spanish.

Naptrappedmummy · 23/01/2024 10:09

I find all this ‘call me nonna/ninny/nannynoo’ to be a bit ridiculous if I’m honest, it just sounds like you’re trying to avoid being called something that sounds a bit ageing. But in the process coming up with a daft nickname where nobody will really be sure what relation you are to the child if you ever take them out.

Ditto ‘nanny’, to me a nanny is somebody who is paid to look after children.

As you asked…

gluggle · 23/01/2024 10:09

I really think whether you're Italian or not is important information here

Twentypastfour · 23/01/2024 10:09

Are you Italian? Did your children grow up calling your mother Nonna? If so, I can see why you’d assume it. But it’s not really up to you and it’s not really a big deal, please don’t dwell on it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/01/2024 10:10

tenpoundpombear · 23/01/2024 10:07

Did your son call your parents Nonna and Nonno? If he called them granny and grandad then maybe he doesn't understand why you'd all of a sudden want to use the Italian words.

I had a Nonno - just seeing the name makes me think of him. He was lovely!

My Dad isn’t Nonno because he isn’t Italian!

Bluedabidee · 23/01/2024 10:10

If you are Italian or have Italian connections then I can understand the disappointment. My dad is Italian but my mum isn't although my kids call them Nonna and Nonno, she debated whether or not she should take the 'nonna' title as she's not actually Italian but it feels more natural to say Nonna and Nonno than Grandma and Nonno. If it's just a name you like with no connection though then I understand why your son might not want to call you that as he might be a bit embarrassed if people are asking why you're called Nonna as it could maybe be seen as being a bit pretentious (that had been my mum's worry).

Newphony · 23/01/2024 10:10

My children call my mother Nonna. Very very normal really especially with an Italian connection.

thatsnicedeer · 23/01/2024 10:11

Are you Italian? If you are then fine. If you dont have Italian connections then it's pretentious.

GoldLash · 23/01/2024 10:11

My mum and dad chose what they wanted to be called and not be called by my DC

I wasn't bothered at all

I've told my DC what I do and don't want to be called to sow those seeds early

I would love a strange random made up name from one of my DGC when the time comes which DH DDad ended up with which I think is cute

chandlerbytrade · 23/01/2024 10:11

I should also point out that we still had Dh's Grandad so it became very confusing for the children when we said Grandad and meant their Great Grandad but that was FIL's decision on what name he wanted. I do agree that there can be a negotiation but a new parent forcing a name on their parent that they don't like is not very nice is it?

ThreeKneeRepeater · 23/01/2024 10:11

I wanted to be granny as the other GM was grandma.
However our grandchild had her own ideas anyway and we don’t care. She can call us whatever suits her.

IvanTheDragon · 23/01/2024 10:11

Nonna is also the traditional word for Grandma in the Stoke area (spelling varies, sounds like Non-ah) so it's not necessarily Italian!

I think it would be polite for them to call you what you want to be called, and I asked my DD's grandparents and went with their choices.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.