I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

In that case I'm with your son. Would get a bit tedious to keep explaining to people that no, you don't have Italian blood, mother was just being pretentious

If you're not Italian, then you're being ridiculous. What's wrong with grandma or granny? That's what you are.

I know someone who had a Babushka (not Russian).
Don’t know why people care so much/find it pretentious. Find English distaste of foreign names very parochial tbh.

Of course you get to choose. My mam did

Granny is a nickname itself so I don’t see why they get to project that onto you. If they were saying “you’re the grandmother so you should be called grandmother” that would be one thing, but surely they understand that most families have a Nan/nana/grandma/gran/granny/grandad X/grandma Y situation, there isn’t just one option and they’re all nicknames of a sort.

My own parents didn’t love the grandma/grandad monikers as they were both quite young and cool still. In consultation with them, my DS called them Pops and Mops (we called our dad Pops too) and his cousins called them Pops and Nonna (we do have an Italian connection but never knew our Italian gdad so didn’t get to call him anything)

I don’t see why anyone would want their kids to call you by a name you hate!

Call yourself Nonna if you want! Please don't let all these other people dissuade you (or your kids force you into Grandma if you don't want it)

People complain that the English don't learn other languages, then, when they try to use another language suddenly that's bad too - so what if it's 'a bit weird' are we scared of people being a bit different now?

I would feel a bit silly saying out loud a nickname somebody has come up with for themselves because it’s ‘cuter’. There’s nothing wrong with the generic ‘gran’ ‘grandma’ ‘granny’, if a nickname develops organically that’s fine but otherwise it’s a bit precious.

I wonder how many people here saying OP doesn't have a choice in what she's called were on the ERCC tribunal thread saying we should respect trans people's rights to have us deny the evidence of our eyes and ears and call them whatever they demand.

I think you get a choice. I had my first baby, my mams 1st grandchild, in 2022 and ask my mam what she wanted to be called. MIL was already nanny, but told my mam they could both be nanny. She wants granny so she's granny.

AFAIK my aunts/uncles who have recently become GPs have also had a choice

That's the other thing if you have no italian connection/don't speak it, if you think it's similar to Nana then you might not realise the difference in pronunciation which would make it very obvious you're not italian. It's not pronounced noh-nah like nah-nah for nana, but non-nah. I get why your son might not want to use it.

@MissTrip82 you don't need to know paedophiles to know the word nonce... what is up with people on this thread, desperate to be angry with someone.

I just don’t feel like a granny that’s all. The mother to be mother already has two grandchildren and is known as grandma. That’s fine if that’s what she likes, but I just prefer z Nonna. Two friends are Lola and Gigi! I thought it was my call, but apparently not. Ive been pulled about a few things in the last year only. Son and I were extremely close once.

I think it's up to you to a certain point. My in laws wanted to be called mamma and papa, which I think is too close to mum and dad , so I didn't agree to this, but if they'd picked a variation of grandparent titles, I would have considered that to be their choice.

Are you sure this isn't just an accent thing?! I've lived in the Stoke area all my life (although not born here) and have never heard anyone refer to their grandma as nonna! Nan/nana/gran seem to be the most popular

In that case I'm with your son. Would get a bit tedious to keep explaining to people that no, you don't have Italian blood, mother was just being pretentious

FWIW I don’t think anyone - let alone tedious numbers of people - will be asking why she’s called Nonna! Nobody else cares. Do you go round asking if someone called Siobhan has Irish ancestry or whether Francesca is really Italian or just pretending?

Granny is the posh form, although personally I hate it.

We let the gp’s choose what they wanted, one of which is unusual, but I might have raised an objection if one had chosen Granny as I dislike it so much.

Can you discuss other options and choose something else acceptable to you all?

Has DS told you why they are so set on "granny"?

Also, the children will decide anyway. A 'baby talk' version of 'granny' could sound like 'nanny", or 'nana' and stick.

This. I think they are just showing themselves up as boring and basic! Imagine thinking a foreign word is weird and pretentious, god help their DC or DGC they end up a bit different. Proper Middle England Brexity narrow mindedness.

Of you? I’m being facetious know you mean of them . I’d feel embarrassed calling you this when you aren’t italian, posts on here have shown that there is a real assumption of Italian heritage so you’d constantly or they would be saying no no she just liked the word. Eye rolling would happen! It would be like me trying to get my child to call me maman when I was born in east Lancs to parents also from east Lancs.

It's not distaste. I know somebody who is a Nonna, she's Italian, I think it's a lovely word.

But using kin terms from another language is weird. Pretentious at best arguably bordering on cultural appropriation

I wanted my m'n'law to be called granny - she wanted to be called nanny. I didn't feel I had a right to dictate someone's name so we called her nanny at her request. I think its a common name up North but we were in London at time and everyone thought she was hired help! I had to explain to everyone we met at the time she was the children's grandmother. I think its pretty awful of them to insist you are called granny. But names can change - we used to call my dad grandpa he's now called Papa.

Ah that sounds tough. Seems like another thing they want to argue with you about that really doesn’t matter.

Can you imagine someone telling them that they have to let the baby call them mother and father not mummy and daddy. It’s just stupid.

People complain that the English don't learn other languages, then, when they try to use another language suddenly that's bad too - so what if it's 'a bit weird' are we scared of people being a bit different now?

picking out a foreign language term to use because you like it isn’t really comparable to learning that language.

This ^