I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

In our family, we have a Nan (MIL) and Grandad (FIL), Grandma (German DM) and Di (Scottish DSF), Grandpa (DF) and Nonna (Italian DSM).

The children will choose a name that fits.

Nannie was Nannie until Nan (great-grandpare nt) passed away, so Nannie became Nan. My MIL just went with it, even though it must have been difficult for her as it was her mum's "name". She also has step-grandchildren that refer to her as Nannie (+ first name).

My mum wanted to be something German, but the kids all call her Grandma, so now she loves being a Grandma. Dad was also Grandad until the last year, when my DS said it was too confusing, so now he's Grandpa. Again, he's just gone with it.

So I would say, if you're Italian, refer to yourself as Nonna but don't push it if it doesn't stick.

🥰🥰

Nonna is a bit too similar sounding to Nonce for me (I've never heard anyone call anyone Nonna before, so thats just the closest association I have unfortunately).

My friend from Derbyshire (not too far from Stoke) says something that sounds like this, but it's just her prouncing Nana in her accent.

"Nonna" is a specific Italian word and an odd thing to want to be called if you're not Italian.

My daughter asked what we wanted to be called. I couldn't decide as most of the words sound ancient to me (sorry! 😅,) but fortunately my grandson couldn't say any of the words properly, so I have ended up with a strange name that is unique which I love. Cross your fingers that your grandchild does the same for you.

I was brought with both of my grandmothers being called Nanny, all the grandkids called them both it. I'm almost 40 so it has been around a long time, Irish and British heritage on each side respectively. My kids have nanny and Avo / Portuguese for Grandma, I think that you do need to have heritage from the country or it just sounds a bit odd.

I think it’s sad when grandparents don’t get a choice. I got lumbered with “ granny” which I hate but wasn’t going to cause an argument over it. It would have been nice to be asked if I preferred another name.

So that's ok then! To disparage an Italian word!

If you’re Italian Nonna is lovely. My BIL is Italian and even my daughter calls his mum Nonna, I love it. If you’re not Italian then my question is why!

DP’s mum told us she would be Nana which I really don’t like. I think cause she’s fond of baby and cutesy speak and it makes me think of that. She has no clue I don’t like it.

I always assumed that its whatever your grandparents were to you (the dc parent). So we have nana and papa on my side and grandma and grandad on DHs. We never asked anybody before dc were born. It's just the family norm and has been for generations.

But yes agree that dc will call you what they like. Dh and I are mother and dadman to our dc.

DM wanted to be called Bibi I think it was despite no Arabic connection. I don't think it ever would have really worked as it didn't come naturally to me to refer to her as such. It seemed to be about a reluctance to sound old and be called Grandma. And also wanting to distinguish herself from the other GPs but this wasn't necessary as they have their own European language names. She is called Grandma by my kids and has got used to it!

I know several grandmothers who are Nonna and are not Italian, don’t see the big deal. It was usually to differentiate from a “Nanna” on the other side. Lots of women don’t like Granny or Grandma and I respect that! Such a lack of imagination/small c conservatism on here tbh.

Hi, I have no Italian connection, I just thought it was cute, and nicer than Nana, it’s so similar I didn’t think it’d be an issue.

We gave our parents the choice what they wanted to be called. We trusted they'd have the sense to pick from any of the fairly standard grandparent names.

I couldn't imagine telling my parents and I laws what names I'd decided for them.

Some of the posts about you have no say, wanting a say is you seizing control, the parents decide and you better fall in line if you want a relationship with your grandchildren sound like toxic and controlling outlooks to be honest.

Some harsh replies on here!! A bit difficult to answer without more context though:

1. Why do you want to be called Nonna?
2. Why do you not like the name Granny?
3. Did either of them have a special grandparent who they called Granny that this evokes memories of?
4. What will the other grandmother be called (if there is one)? Granny is quite often the coveted name! I personally much prefer it to Nanny.

It’s your name absolutely you get a choice. Although I will say if there’s another Nonna then there might need to be some conversation about how to differentiate two close family members with the same name.

When he gets it wrong just correct him

Or start referring to him by some wrong name - and point out that as the parent you get to choose.

What? It’s an extremely common name. You’ve known more paedophiles than you have people of Italian descent?

What a very stupid post.

And today's award for ignorance goes to...

I thought it was a bit controlling!

Yea don't do it then.

Blimey. Of course you get to choose!

No, this doesn’t work then.

Oh don't be so dramatic. She's not disparaging an Italian word - she didn't know it was an Italian word, she just connected it to the nearest word she knew (which just happens to have an unpleasant meaning). Humans do it all the time, and not just the English-speaking ones. We find connections to help us try to understand.

I'm surprised nobody has tried to accuse the OP of culture appropriation.

🤣 This made me spit out my coffee. You know, it possible to think something and not say it... All those poor, lovely Nonnas.

FIL emigrated to another country. Doesn't speak a word of the language after 2 decades. Insisted on being given the honorific name for a grandfather in that country despite showing very little interest in the children. We still roll our eyes whenever we use the name.