To not want to lose my only friend over my beliefs

[SilverBranchGoldenPears]

I will keep this very short.
I have one friend where I live- relatively new. I’m far from home. No others on the horizon- I know I need to find more but it’s a struggle. I’m GC and I know when they find out they will not speak to me again. I will not and cannot lie about my feelings on this. Currently she is trying to probe. I feel very sad about it as I don’t care what she thinks, I just want to be her friend. I think people can have different beliefs and get on.
How do I go about it? Should I start the conversation now and accept the consequences?
Should I avoid it as long as I can? and if so how?

I‘m not sure what exactly I’m asking but I am just sad about it. Has anyone else been in this situation? Thanks!

AIBU - don’t be sad
YANBU - it is sad and it’s ok to be sad

You'll always meet people with different beliefs and views to your own and having a healthy debate about it isn't terrible, maybe agree to disagree?
One of my acquaintances is very anti any kind of LBTQ rights , but a lot of this is their upbringing and own beliefs , we just have to agree that not everyone feels the same ( I don't ) and best to move on to different topics.
I'm sure lots of people might have unfriended them or might even agree with them , but I am just willing to accept that not everyone thinks or feels the same about any kind of topic that might arise and try to find more common ground ? Maybe I'm just a bit more tolerant than most though and accept that we can't all be the same in how we think or what we belief to be right?
It is a tricky one though and I've known many people who have fallen out over holding different views / or beliefs about things.

"I believe in equality and freedom for all. And I really do not want to talk more about this." might be an idea.

I suppose I am lucky that none of my friends seem to want to constantly talk about this topic. And that we respect each other enough to respectfully disagree.

I’ve got friends with radically different ideas to mine. We’re still friends, we just talk about other stuff and realise that we don’t all think the same about things.

Believing that sex is more important than gender identity is not in and of itself bigoted however.

Can you let her get her views out, tell her they're interesting, then change the subject, and keep changing it if she keeps raising it.

You can tell her it's something you don't have any strong views on, and if she keeps pushing, you can match her pushing her issue with your own, not GC, but something niche like republicanism and hopefully she'll get the hint.

It’s not simple. We believe in one’s biological sex. We don’t believe that you can ‘feel’ like you are a different gender. Two main reasons; gender is a social construct (for example females are more caring so should play with dolls, boys should play with toy cars) secondly because, of course, no one knows how any one else ‘feels’
We believe that you can wear what you like, present how you like, call yourself what you like but you shouldn’t say you’re the opposite sex to gain access to facilities that are provided for that sex. Be it a toilet, a rape crisis centre, a prison, a political shortlist, or even a sporting event or team.

I've lost many friendships over my beliefs, it hurts but I'm okay with it. I'd rather meet and associate eith like minded people. My one friend, friends since we started primary school completely ghosted me a few years ago and she only lives around the corner.

I doubt she will care unless you're the type to bang on about it all the time.

If I can’t accept the fact that people’s opinions on any number of subjects are many, varied and diverse then I can’t really call myself a grownup and will simply end up in a perpetual state of anger. Life is too short.

@the80sweregreat ’anti any kind of LBTQ rights’ is very different to being GC and not believing TWAW.

GC beliefs are not homophobic or transphobic

Pretty much everything you've stated in your post is completely wrong. Noone is trying to restrict transpeople's access to health care. They have the same access as everyone else. Noone is trying to strip back their rights either, unless you can provide me with a link to a "right" that transpeople currently have and which is currently being stripped away.

GC feminism is about rejecting gender stereotypes, and protecting the rights of women and girls to single-sex spaces. These spaces include sports environments, prisons, rape crisis centres, and yes, changing rooms and toilets.

The majority of transwomen in prison are sex offenders, or have at least one sexual offence on their record. Transwomen make up a tiny proportion of prisoners in E&W , so their disproportionate representation in the sex offender population is actually quite a significant statistic and cause for concern. Transmen offenders are never placed in the male estate because they would be hugely at risk.

You can say, ive never been to prison, and neither have my family or friends, so i dont care about women in prison. The recent Post Office scandal should be a lesson for all of us that ANYONE can end up in prison, no matter how law-abiding they are.

Wow, didn't take long for the right wingers to leap on this. Stop claiming GC is "normal" it's actually the marginal extreme. As most can recognise its a complex issue, not black and white (binary).

If your friendship is going to last it needs honesty. But as you're unwilling to be honest it's a non runner I suspect.

Indeed.
In fact, a great many GC women and men are lesbians and homosexuals.

This is another reason I wouldn't want to be friends with someone GC - they're always so rude and dismissive towards women who disagree with them, and they blame everything they don't like on this cluster of strawmen they call "TRAs".

Nothing to do with being right wing, don’t be silly.
I’m a member of the Labour Party and I’m GC.
There’s plenty more like me, so keep your simplistic labels to yourself.

What's "not normal" about saying that humans can't change sex?

I can count on one hand the amount of times the issue of gender conforming/non-conforming (however you want to term it) has come up in my real life friendships. And when it has its been a mutually tolerant, live and let live approach on all sides.

My experience is that these conversations come up much more frequently on the internet than in real life contexts. If your friend really is probing you on this OP deflect or state your position as you see fit. You can’t keep a friend by hiding who you are.

Stop claiming GC is "normal" it's actually the marginal extreme.

Not according to recent polling. GC is the mainstream view.

I'm also a member of the Labour Party and I'm GC.

GC is the norm in the population at large.

Trans people get better healthcare if their biological sex is acknowledge in healthcare settings. For example, there are concerns surrounding the premature deaths of transmen possibly caused by male hormones affecting heart health. These figures are proving hard to research because of the insistence of recording these deaths as male.

@Conkersinautumn be off with your right wing nonsense. I've been in the Labour Party probably longer than you've been alive.

That's not what the polls show, no

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/jun/16/britons-not-bitterly-polarised-over-trans-equality-research-finds

Unless you're referring to recent polls taken by anti-trans organisations polling their own supporters which obviously aren't representative.

I thought you were going to say it's a wake up call into the kind of person this 'friend' is.

GC people's beliefs are nasty and dehumanising. Meanwhile...

It could be more fun to agree with her -be offended that you haven't been offered a prostate check by your GP, who has obviously stereotyped you as being a 'woman' with a 'female' body. And wear trousers one day and say it's such a relief not to have to use birth control as you can't get pregnant in 'boy mode'.