I'm apoplectic with rage for my assistant

[jennyswoke]

I can't even explain why I'm so full of rage because it's not my business but we work closely in our office.
She is a wonderful worker, mother , runs the home and everything in between ..

He works full time on shift. Earns big money. Pays the bills.

BUT she in anger told him how overwhelmed she was raising their kids single handedly , running the home single handedly, working around her kids nursery and school hours . On call single handedly for sick kids and appointments .

He told her to get up earlier if she was that stressed.

That's it folks.

He is not alone or unusual.
One post after another here is representative of this.
These fucking men.
They make me vomit.
Sadly she has no legal rights as she is not married to this prick.
Never been so happy to be divorced .
Pig

Why do you assume because she isn’t married means she has no legal rights?

Can she use some of the money he earns to outsource what is stressing her out? A cleaner etc

I'm not excusing his behaviour and am also sick and tired of men like him and how they treat women but if she won't leave him, can she at least try and utilise the big money he's on

They make me vomit.

Really, you actually threw up?

Given how common these twats are you must be positively incapacitated most days I'd imagine.

Ah yes, another man hating thread! Just what we need.
There’s plenty of shitty women in the world too, but let’s not let that get in the way of a good anti-man rant 🙃

Yanbu op. So familiar. And when I DO encounter a decent father, I know they are so much rarer than decent mothers, that I find myself admiring them - then cross with myself for having such a low bar that I see being a basic decent person as so attractive.

She is dependant on him to pay rent , bills and food . Her job is wrapped around school/ nursery hours and isn't well paid. It is for experience mostly .
As they are not married she has very little rights

And why didn't she get married then?

@Deathbyfluffy
This is not a man hating thread.
This is a thread about a useless, nasty , lazy partner and father who expects his partner to run everyone's life because she works 20 hours to his 40.
Fucking hell, the bar is low if you think this is ok

Do you often get apoplectic with rage when you hear tiny little titbits from someone else's relationship arguments?

I'd be more apoplectic if I thought I'd shared that with someone and then discovered I've become the subject of a public internet thread.

I dont consider these little tidbits whatsoever .
The response is all telling and screams disrespect but maybe that's your norm and you're ok with that.

In that case she should be doing approx 20 hours extra childcare/housework/cooking/cleaning than him per week, then the balance should be shared.

Of course the part time person should work around school/nursery, or it doesn’t make sense.

That's their agreement. She does kids collecting dropping etc and does dinner and homework.
He on the other hand has never cleaned, cooked, done an appointment or anything that doesn't revolve around his work or his Fri and sat in the pub with his footie friends.
His time is his time.
Bottom
Line

Then she works full-time and he pays half of childcare.
if he refuses, she leaves him and then pursues child maintenance.
Presumably she has put her name on the mortgage/tenancy agreement?

Im not married and it would have zero impact on my “legal rights” so I’m not sure why it would on hers.

Of course it’s not ok. He’s a dick!

But…why the fuck do women keep allowing this to happen? Why do they have kids with dickheads like this? Not just a single child but often two or three! And then looking back there’s ALWAYS red flags.

The shitty behaviour is not the fault of the woman but women in general need to stop ignoring those early red flags. First one maybe but second one you get out. You don’t stay thinking you need him or you’re lucky to have him or that you can change him. You can’t. Walk away before you’re trapped by motherhood alongside your increasingly nasty pig of a partner.

But he is her choice, this is the life she chose

People can think what they want but being this invested in someone like this is odd

Right, but she also works literally half what he does. Are all kids in childcare of some description? If you added together the hours each of them spends working (paid and unpaid) what does the balance look like?

That's the thing, the bar is low.

I would expect the parent who works half the amount of the other to be more on hand for the children.

There's not enough here that would make me jump straight to "he's an arsehole".

It would. If you were a SAHM or part time, and split if you were married, you could get a share of his pension to make up for not putting as much in yours. If not married, you wouldn’t be entitled to any.

Unhelpful

The balance looks like
She does 100% children/ house / admin.
He works 40 hours per week and does nothing else.
Bottom line

presumably someone who has young kids has plenty of time to make up their pension contributions. Many part timers increase their pension contributions (and therefore decrease their taxable income) for this reason.

When I went (temporarily) part time I increased my pension payment tothe same as my FTE.

You can also name anyone as a beneficiary, married or otherwise.

I said this on a thread a couple of weeks ago and got my arse handed to me because apparently it’s “victim blaming” 🙄. But I totally agree - these men don’t become pricks after the second or third child arrives. People’s life choices baffle me.

@Flickersy stupid comment