Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

ashley cains new baby name so disrepecful!

228 replies

Ginger89 · 19/01/2024 04:54

my heart dropped for Saf tonight. AIBU to be absolutely raging for a stranger at the level of disrespect???!!

OP posts:
EsmeSusanOgg · 19/01/2024 04:58

Who?

Lampzade · 19/01/2024 05:00

What is the baby’s name?

LoudSnoringDog · 19/01/2024 05:04

Aliyas? Or something like that?

ashley Cain is a self absorbed dickhead

Copperoliverbear · 19/01/2024 05:04

The baby's name with his new girlfriend is the same name as his baby who died, that he had with a different woman.
That just goes to show how silly his new girlfriend is, because you would not do it would you, how disrespectful and immature

Peteryourhorseishere · 19/01/2024 05:08

Well that’s really shit. I don’t follow them, but I know of the sad story. He’s thick as mince though, so it’s not surprising.

JubileeJumps · 19/01/2024 05:11

Nooooo! Why would you do that?

Ginger89 · 19/01/2024 05:11

Aliyas Diamond Cain, proper narcissist that man, he must know the hurt he's causing as he posted another comment on his instagram justifying the A & diamond meaning. but wow what a woman Saf is how dignified she is, I'm shocked that the new baby mum even agreed to the name knowing how much hurt that would be causing a grieving mother of a child that had nothing to do with her I think it's disgusting!

OP posts:
LightSwerve · 19/01/2024 05:14

AIBU to be absolutely raging for a stranger
Yes, YABU as you don't know them or their reasons.

Ted27 · 19/01/2024 05:16

I have no idea who Ashley Cain is but I remember the story around the death of his baby girl.
They seem to be using the same middle name, nor first name.
@Copperoliverbear not sure why you are blaming the girlfriend.
The baby who died was his as well, I think if he wants to remember her by using the middle name that's up to him

WobbliHead3000 · 19/01/2024 05:16

I actually don’t follow either of them but saw this thread and looked up his social media.

He has explained the name choice and it makes sense to me… from your post I thought he’d named the child the same name as the daughter who passed… but he hasn’t.
All his family have names which start with A, and diamond and cain are his family names.

looks like too many people are reading into this.

MinnieTruck · 19/01/2024 05:23

WobbliHead3000 · 19/01/2024 05:16

I actually don’t follow either of them but saw this thread and looked up his social media.

He has explained the name choice and it makes sense to me… from your post I thought he’d named the child the same name as the daughter who passed… but he hasn’t.
All his family have names which start with A, and diamond and cain are his family names.

looks like too many people are reading into this.

Well no, doesn’t he have another sister who’s name starts with D? Even if it’s family tradition to use A names, are their no more names out there that start with A?

I have to say, this is one story that I’ve followed from the beginning. I remember watching their IG videos when my son was in NICU, they really gave me so much encouragement. I don’t follow either of them but I saw the clip of Saf on the podcast saying her side of the story and I thought it was so sad.

To say to her that he wants to have another baby with her (but not get back together) whilst at their daughters grave sounds like a lot to process. Then to find out he’s got a friend of his pregnant when this same woman was friends with both of them? And THEN he names his son a very similar first name to Azaylia. It’s just all very sad tbh.

I’m sure you can tell I’m overly invested in this but I really feel for Saf. Yes, Azaylia was his child too but he really hasn’t come across well since he sold his story to The Sun about getting a ‘friend’ pregnant. I don’t know how Saf hasn’t publicly bashed him

LiquidGold315 · 19/01/2024 05:25

Calm down OP. It's not the same name.
Both have names starting with 'A' as does he. Yes, the middle name is the same but he's explained it's a family name and a sweet tribute to the daughter he lost.

MySugarBabyLove · 19/01/2024 05:28

There’s nothing wrong with it.
there is however a lot wrong with the need to be professionally offended over something you know nothing about and is none of your business.
incidentally, in Victorian times when infant mortality was high, it was common for a baby to be given the same name as the most recently deceased child.

Zanatdy · 19/01/2024 05:30

He commented on the post to say it goes back a few generations choosing an A name for a child and Diamond is his grandmothers name (or some family member) so it came from his side of the family and I can understand why he wanted to use it again. If he was still with Saf no-one would bat an eyelid using a name to honour a sibling. Because he’s not with her anymore doesn’t mean he shouldn’t honour his daughter.

The first name though, he could have chosen something that was a bit further away from Azalyia. I’m sure Saf is hurting regardless of the name

RowanMayfair · 19/01/2024 05:30

What? It's the middle name only not the first name? Don't be ridiculous, this is a very normal thing for people to do. I know two people who sadly lost older children and gave their names to subsequent children as middle names. I know another family who named their second child a very similar first name to their first who died. He's not done anything wrong that I can see.

MinnieTruck · 19/01/2024 05:35

RowanMayfair · 19/01/2024 05:30

What? It's the middle name only not the first name? Don't be ridiculous, this is a very normal thing for people to do. I know two people who sadly lost older children and gave their names to subsequent children as middle names. I know another family who named their second child a very similar first name to their first who died. He's not done anything wrong that I can see.

There’s nothing wrong with having a child with a friend that was actually friends with both of then? Especially when you’ve just asked your ex partner to have another baby with you. That’s all types of wrong

Zanatdy · 19/01/2024 05:37

Also would anyone be blasting Saf if she used Diamond as a middle name, or even Azalyia. He’s got as much entitled (if not more as Diamond is his family name) as she has. Yes he’s not been nice to a Saf, but it’s a few years on and he’s entitled to move on with his life and have another child. He’s clearly a player and I hope Saf is able to move on from him, though difficult as still working for the foundation.

Ginger89 · 19/01/2024 05:42

his brother is called Matty so the A tradition isn't really a tradition for the males is it and the diamond I believe was the grandmothers name-female, fair enough if you want to try and justify keeping up with these "traditions" there was so many other names begining with A he could have chosen. I understand he lost a child to but he lost that baby with Saffiya and to honour their daughters name with another woman just thought it was cruel, disrespectful & distasteful.

OP posts:
romdowa · 19/01/2024 05:46

If it was the mother who'd had the baby so soon with a friend and used that name , the story would be completely different . People would be saying have brave she is and raving about the name. That poor man lost his daughter too and has every right to use a names and the same middle name. I've no idea if he's the bastard that the Internet portrays him as but he was that girls father and her passing hurt him too.

Bernieee · 19/01/2024 05:47

MySugarBabyLove · 19/01/2024 05:28

There’s nothing wrong with it.
there is however a lot wrong with the need to be professionally offended over something you know nothing about and is none of your business.
incidentally, in Victorian times when infant mortality was high, it was common for a baby to be given the same name as the most recently deceased child.

This.

You don’t know these people. The names don’t even sound the same. Big reach

MatterofTime24 · 19/01/2024 05:52

It’s not the exact same name.

RowanMayfair · 19/01/2024 05:52

MinnieTruck · 19/01/2024 05:35

There’s nothing wrong with having a child with a friend that was actually friends with both of then? Especially when you’ve just asked your ex partner to have another baby with you. That’s all types of wrong

That's not the question is it? The OP said it's disrespectful to use the same name. I wasn't answering any question about whether it was ok to have the baby in the first place!

MinnieTruck · 19/01/2024 05:56

RowanMayfair · 19/01/2024 05:52

That's not the question is it? The OP said it's disrespectful to use the same name. I wasn't answering any question about whether it was ok to have the baby in the first place!

Context matters here. Naming his new child an extremely similar name to his child who passed is one thing. Put that with the context of the situation is a different thing entirely.

Oh well OP, there’s nothing us strangers can do about it. I did look up Saf’s IG and watched her story, I do feel bad for her. I hope she has a strong support network around her

Ginger89 · 19/01/2024 05:57

romdowa · 19/01/2024 05:46

If it was the mother who'd had the baby so soon with a friend and used that name , the story would be completely different . People would be saying have brave she is and raving about the name. That poor man lost his daughter too and has every right to use a names and the same middle name. I've no idea if he's the bastard that the Internet portrays him as but he was that girls father and her passing hurt him too.

the story wouldn't be different if it was the other way round I'd be just as shocked. not disputing her passing hurt him I couldn't even begin to imagine loosing my child but to go on and father another child with a different woman then use a very simelar name as his daughter with saf doesn't sit right, as if she wasnt hurting enough!

OP posts:
Kinneddar · 19/01/2024 05:58

my heart dropped for Saf tonight. AIBU to be absolutely raging for a stranger at the level of disrespect

So you know her well enough that she needs you to be raging on her behalf. How do you know he didn't discuss it with her in advance. Maybe she's perfectly happy with it

I thought from the OP that he'd given the baby the same first name. So he's used his daughters middle name for the new baby's middle name - personally I don't see anything wrong with it. She was his daughter too

Swipe left for the next trending thread