Am I boring…which would you prefer?

[Dermotissuchafidget]

This Saturday…friends birthday lunch..lots of girls only, beautiful place by the beach, lovely food, drinks, entertainment, quite fancy and you need to get dressed up..2-3 hours long.

My original plan for Saturday (before she planned it)

Drive to a beautiful nature place with trees, stream, picnic tables..take Dd, 5 and Ddog, with Dh, pack a picnic, Dd to wear wellies and take a net in the stream
walk for a couple of hours

Which would you prefer?

For context, I’m 45

OP had plans to have a nice walk with her family this weekend, a dip in the stream, with a picnic etc.

Has now been invited to a girls day out to celebrate a birthday - lovely venue near the beach, nice food and drinks, dressy.

She's a bit disappointed because she'd rather do the family walk and is asking if that makes her boring.

At no point has she said anything about taking her family to the birthday celebrations, hanging out on a beach, disliking her friends, or anything else that some posters have made up.

@kittensinthekitchen Thank you! 😂

Well the family trip sounds good but it’s something you could do every weekend day if you wanted.
We do that type thing a lot.
The friends thing is a rarer occurance, so I would
do that

@Dermotissuchafidget

so what are you actually going to do then op? Option 1 or 2?

I know it's not her birthday! I plan nice outings with my family that I look forward to when it's not my birthday.

I love variety so would pick which ever was most unlike my usual routine.

Your mileage may vary.

As do i

but when i’m arranging something specifically for someone’s birthday, it is all about what i think they would enjoy. I arranged an indoor sky diving thing for my friend’s birthday because she’d been desperate to try it. The polar opposite of being my sort of thing. But didn’t give it a nano second thought about me given it was for her (and i ended up having an absolute blast!)

spend 30 mins on mumsnet and you’ll realise you are far far from alone. Can’t swing a cat for threads asking for how to get out of social engagements or fact that don’t like going out anymore

But the planned walk was nothing to do with the friend's birthday. It was something OP had planned with her family and then later a third party invited her to said friend's birthday.

OP isn't trying to get the friend to enjoy a forest walk instead of the lunch or combine the two.

So… OP does thing she enjoys with her friend that she’s arranged (presuming friend will enjoy)

and doesn’t attend the dinner if she doesn’t want to. Although that’s my point, a good friend? i would attend even if i didn’t want to 🤷‍♀️

Kid free day with the girls sounds like my cup of tea !

where does the Op say that? i must have missed!

Plan b for me.

@MrsSkylerWhite

what you would really miss a pals birthday celebrations to do something with your family that you could any old day?

She hasn't arranged anything with the friend. The walk in the woods was never anything connected to the friend.

She's been invited to a lunch and is probably going to go to that but was just ruminating on the fact she'd prefer to skip the friend's birthday lunch and stick with the planned walk with her family.

thank you!!! finally clarity. Although i’d love to see the part of but the OP’s post that explains it like this!!

Either way… wanting to go for a walk with your family over wanting to socialise seems much more commonplace on mumsnet than the latter. So you have come to the right place OP.

But point stands. Close friend’s birthday, i would t navel gaze about my preference because it would be an open and shut case. Attend the lunch

Both sound lovely. Both very different things. And both things you can do to celebrate a birthday, even if on different days. Family time is always lovely. As a parent, a child-free trip out getting dressed up with friends - also heavenly!
Not sure why it has to be an issue.

Second one

I would go to my friends birthday lunch because I could do the family picnic on the Sunday or the following Saturday or my next available weekend. Your friends birthday will not come around again until next year.

Only one of them is anything to do with a birthday! The walk is nothing to do with the friend who is having a birthday.

It's only a problem because the two entirely unrelated plans are on the same day.

It really isn't a complicated situation or an unclear OP.

@DappledThings

You have a touching commitment to clarifying the OP. But i fail to actually see a lot of what you’re saying in any of the OP’s posts!

Getting “dressed up” and going for a “girly lunch” is my idea of hell, and would be sinfully boring to me. It’s entirely reasonable to pursue things you actually enjoy and make friends who want to do the same sort of things as you, even if other people don’t agree or think you’re dull because of it.

Fortunately my friends would also hate that sort of event and wouldn’t organise it, and if they found themselves compelled to, they wouldn’t expect me to attend 😂

and if you had a close friend who did want to do this for her birthday?

Sometimes a thread just grabs your attention. And I'm on the train so have the time!

I fail to see how anything I'm saying isn't in the OP's posts. Although I must apologise for accidentally inventing a third party. It is the friend whose birthday it is who invited OP, not an additional friend.

Sometimes a thread just grabs your attention. And I'm on the train so have the time!

I fail to see how anything I'm saying isn't in the OP's posts. Although I must apologise for accidentally inventing a third party. It is the friend whose birthday it is who invited OP, not an additional friend.