Am I boring…which would you prefer?

[Dermotissuchafidget]

This Saturday…friends birthday lunch..lots of girls only, beautiful place by the beach, lovely food, drinks, entertainment, quite fancy and you need to get dressed up..2-3 hours long.

My original plan for Saturday (before she planned it)

Drive to a beautiful nature place with trees, stream, picnic tables..take Dd, 5 and Ddog, with Dh, pack a picnic, Dd to wear wellies and take a net in the stream
walk for a couple of hours

Which would you prefer?

For context, I’m 45

Girls lunch.

How often do you see your girlfriends compared to how often you are a mum doing stuff with the family?

Make time for your friends.

"friends"

different from "friend's"

In combination with title, declaration of your age implied it was something organised by/for friends!

Apologies for getting it wrong. But still stand by my original post.

you don’t say “my”

so some of us thought you were presenting a situation whereby it was your birthday and wondering whether a friend would think you were boring

@spearthatbroc Ok

Dd and Dh are mine

@BIWI Ahh ok, yes fair point

I understood what you meant, though I can see why others didn't.

I don't think you're boring. If you've planned a really nice day out with family that you were looking forward to, then I understand why you would feel a bit disappointed if something came up, even if it was another nice set of plans.

so big group going… friends and partners and children?

both sound fun. but if i were her… i’d do this sort of thing on any given sunday tbh. In fact, i do.

whereas the fancy lunch celebrating with friends… yep, that to celebrate my birthday

But it isn't her birthday!

Brunch with friends! I would do the nature walk on the Sunday.

Both sound nice, but I hugely value any time I get with my girlfriends. The older I get (46) the more I appreciate the importance of the women in my life.

I love hiking though. So I get it. 💝

They both sounds great! But to echo another poster... why are you doing either of these in minus conditions? 🤔

Awaits drip feed about the friends being toxic and the DH being on a two week shore leave.

The op’s post was perfectly clear. You wouldn’t say ‘friends birthday lunch’ if you meant a lunch a friend was hosting for your birthday!! The fact that she mentioned her age at the end was nothing to do with the friend’s birthday, more to give context to the fact that the op’s worried she might be becoming boring as she gets older!

I hate dressing up and being ‘on show’ so I would much prefer option 2. If a close friend, I would probably feel obliged to go. If not so close, or there wasn’t much notice, the older I get, the less bothered I would be about just apologising for missing it, and saying I had already made other plans with family for that day.

Your post was perfectly understandable to me, OP!

Girls' only lunch near the sea for a friend's birthday vs family day day out.

The family day out sounds really lovely and I think I'm with you - my heart would probably be with the family and the dogs!

However, I do agree with the PP that said it's important to maintain friendships outside of the family and to make an effort for your friends, esp on their birthdays.

Therefore, I'm another one suggesting both. Can you do the birthday on the Saturday and the family day out on the Sunday? Failing that, could you do an early morning walk on the Saturday followed by the birthday lunch?

I thought the OP was perfectly clear.

I would prefer the day I'd originally planned as well and be a bit "ugh" about getting dressed up and spending the day with people I might not know that well. But I would do it and enjoy it when I got there.

It's not boring to prefer your original plan, some people would be thrilled at the lunch, others less so. No reaction unreasonable.

The OP was perfectly clear.

Go to the birthday of course.

You can go with your DH and DD any other time, possibly the very next day if you’re both off work.

i'd go for option one everytime

Both sound nice. Probably in the cold weather, I'd rather have option one. I wouldn't fancy a picnic and two mile walk in the cold. Lovely in summer time.

To be fair option one is hardly a walk on the wild side. Both sound like perfectly nice low key events.

God, definitely option 1. There are thousands of days in your life you can go for nature walks. It’s hardly a one off opportunity.

They both sound lovely but your friend doesn't have a birthday lunch every weekend.

Unless I was feeling really really fragile I would go to the birthday lunch. If I didn't go I would be aware of the potential impact on our friendship

You might just be introverted or antisocial.
Boring would be staying home to do ironing.

I would do the lunch. The other is a regular weekend activity that can be done anytime.

Both things sound like lots of fun. Yes, I'd probably prefer the "boring" option, but given that I can do that equally well tomorrow or any other time, then I'd happily go for the birthday meal today

Breach.

The point is you can do stuff with the kids anytime. So whilst they both sound lovely (albeit very cold for mud) take the time to spend with your friends

The picnic / family walk seems like a typical weekend activity which can be done at anytime, your friends birthday lunch is an occasion to be celebrated and can't be done at anytime. If you don't want to go to your friends lunch just admit it, but if you bow out of social get togethers too often you will stop being invited and you'll be on here wondering why your being left out of things.