Six year old completely burnt out from school.

[primaryproblems]

Dd6 is fine during the holidays and weekends but can't cope with the long school days, she comes home emotional and breaks down into tears saying it's all too much, she can't handle being in school all day and all week only having 2 days off and spends most evenings crying over anything and everything one thing after another.
She begs me not to send her to school because she's too tired and I feel completely helpless because I have to force her to go.
I completely understand how she feels but there's nothing I can do.
She asked if she can have one day off in the middle of the week to rest which sounds quite reasonable given how burn out she is but I'm not in a position to authorise that.
If an adult was completely overwhelmed and burn out like this they'd be signed off sick but talking to the school doesn't help, they just say she's fine once she's here, she'll get through it but they don't see her when she comes home and then there's homework and reading to get on with when she's passed out on the sofa too tired to even eat.
She's always in bed by 7 and sound asleep by 10 past that's if she hasn't fallen asleep before hand and been carried up and she is soo tired int the morning.
I feel so bad it seems like child cruelty to me but no matter how much she talks to me my hands are tied because the law says she should be in school because all the other children can cope.

Have you seen a GP? I'd say that level of exhaustion is more than most kids.

Have you taken her to the GP for some blood tests? Passed out on the sofa after school too tired to eat is unusual. How was she in Reception and earlier ? Have you considered an earlier bedtime ?

I was just about to ask the same thing. It really isn't normal for a 6 year old to be that exhausted.

Has she seen a GP that level of exhaustion doesn't sound normal for a child her age or do you think there's other things going on e.g her meltdowns at home are because she's masking at school?

If shes tired in the morning too then I’d be sending her up for bed at 6pm, even 5:30 and seeing what happens.

Sorry but this sounds medical, rather than burn out from school.
She shouldn't be that tired if she's sleeping that much.

My son was similar last year, went from having bundles of energy to exhausted and miserable despite twelve hours sleep a night. Turned out to be type one diabetes.

Go get her seen please.

That does seem extreme OP and i have 3 daughters and can tell you that isnt normal.

of course the first week back after holidays or when they start school they are pretty knackered but it evens itself out.

I would absolutely take her to the GP as it could be something really simple like iron levels.

Re a day off in the middle i dont think thats a great idea as she will almost definitely fall behind so that in my opinion would e an absolute last option.

How long is her school day? Is she in wraparound care? Another one saying her reaction seems OTT so I’d want to rule out anything medical first.

GP for blood tests.

Also look at her diet and make sure she’s getting enough nutrients. I know when DD’s diet slips she really struggles with tiredness. Once we’ve had a couple of weeks with a really healthy diet she does a lot better.

You can do an earlier bedtime, Dd when really tired goes to bed at 6 and will sleep through until 6:30am. She also really struggles with school, but she knows it is non-negotiable so we come up with ways to help her. One thing is having a weekend day where she can just slob out all day. No going out if she doesn’t want to, doesn’t need to get dressed, can watch her iPad as long as she want. It does reset her energy for the week.

Dd had blood tests and they all came back normal, so some kids can just really struggle with tiredness.

I often wonder how children cope in the UK school system. I went to school in Europe. We start school at the age of 7. We had 15 min break every hour and 45 min for lunch. We finished school between 12 and 1pm in primary and having 7 45-min-long lessons in secondary was considered a long day. I don't remember ever being out of school later than 2.30 in afternoon.
So I feel for your daughter. It mush be absolutely exhausting but it seems that school here is geared more towards childminding needs. Which is understandable but must be hard for a small child.

She does have a lot of tantrums when she's tired, her teacher thinks she keeps it all in at school and lets it all out when she gets home by way of defiance and tantrums.
She is only like this on school days, weekends and school holidays she's good as gold.

Perhaps her energy levels are down after a virus she’d had. As a parent in that situation I would leave the kid at home for some time (perhaps a week). Either get the GP to recommend it or just tell the school she is unwell. Continuing like this is not in her best interest and can have long term implications for her not being comfortable at school. It is in your power to “sign her off” as a last resort, even if the school disagrees.

The law says that she should be receiving an education ‘either by regular attendance at school or otherwise’.

I think you need to take her to the GP. That level of exhaustion at primary school isn’t normal. What’s her diet like? Could she be anaemic?

I agree you need to rule out medical causes, but also can you review what else is done in the family - is there anything else that can be cut?

If the medical side is deemed fine, some children do find school completely overwhelming. In that situation it might be worth looking for a smaller school, a quiter school (don't underestimate the impact a building design or environment can make to how overwhelming a place feels) or even considering home ed.

But definitely get physical causes checked first, just in case.

Definitely check with GP, this isn't normal.

What time is she up in the morning? What does she have for breakfast and do you know if she's eating her lunch?

I agree I'd see a doctor. My kids did find school tiring at that age but your dds tiredness sounds quite extreme.

Personally right now I wouldn't do the homework. Just forget about it.

This could be indicative of SEN or sensory issues. Or it may just be a process of growing up.

Schools are loud, hectic, chaotic and full on - most kids can cope, some genuinely love it, some just can't deal with it.

Get the GP to check for anything underlying then have a look at notfineinschool which explains just how many kids do struggle with school - it isn't just you.

6 and half hours hours and then straight home, no clubs.
If we go to the shop or anything after school it's too much and she becomes overwhelmed and has a tantrum so I make sure when we get home she doesn't have to go anywhere or do anything.

Another saying you need to have her checked out medically as none of this is normal at all. A 6yo should not be burnt out by school and require a day off mid-week. They should not be exhausted by a normal school day. You need to get to the root cause of this.

What is her diet like? Does she get plenty of exercise?

The GP would see her urgently if you ring them. This is a reason for an urgent check.

Assuming any medical cause is ruled out, then you will have to start discussions with school and the GP about other reasons.

The more you post the more it sounds like there is some potential additional needs at play here and she's experiencing a sensory overload.

I'd take her to the docs for a check over. May be low in vitamins or low iron etc