Six year old completely burnt out from school.

[primaryproblems]

Dd6 is fine during the holidays and weekends but can't cope with the long school days, she comes home emotional and breaks down into tears saying it's all too much, she can't handle being in school all day and all week only having 2 days off and spends most evenings crying over anything and everything one thing after another.
She begs me not to send her to school because she's too tired and I feel completely helpless because I have to force her to go.
I completely understand how she feels but there's nothing I can do.
She asked if she can have one day off in the middle of the week to rest which sounds quite reasonable given how burn out she is but I'm not in a position to authorise that.
If an adult was completely overwhelmed and burn out like this they'd be signed off sick but talking to the school doesn't help, they just say she's fine once she's here, she'll get through it but they don't see her when she comes home and then there's homework and reading to get on with when she's passed out on the sofa too tired to even eat.
She's always in bed by 7 and sound asleep by 10 past that's if she hasn't fallen asleep before hand and been carried up and she is soo tired int the morning.
I feel so bad it seems like child cruelty to me but no matter how much she talks to me my hands are tied because the law says she should be in school because all the other children can cope.

Don’t keep her off school but absolutely make going to the GP a priority.

someone earlier have really good advice about asking specifically about each step of her day to find out what is making her so tired. I think it’s really important you do this. If the day just seems too long because she is bored she could have outgrown the work she is given or she could have Asperger’s. If she is struggling with things to do with literacy, this could be a sign she is dyslexic. If she is physically exhausted she could have dyspraxia. If it’s from social interactions she might be struggling to make friends. Without asking more focussed questions you can’t really help her.

im surprised she saw reception as just playing & 1st year as lots of work. In reception there is lots of learning though it is often disguised as play. In 1st year there is also lots of learning disguised this way.

I would be taking her to the gp for sure. What is her diet like? Is it well balanced? Diet can have a profound affect on a child’s well being

I feel so bad it seems like child cruelty to me but no matter how much she talks to me my hands are tied because the law says she should be in school because all the other children can cope.

You know what seems like child cruelty to me? Not taking this poor little girl to be properly checked over by a GP.

My child with asd is like this, we do no homework at all now as was too much, I let him have a day off a month when it’s all too much but we don’t get fined here, I would go to gp and have meeting with school and ask for educational psychologist

1- take her to GP to do some blood tests, could be low iron etc.
2- Make sure you're giving her a multi vitamin
3- Could she be neurodiverse and making at school causing the meltdowns and tiredness at home. As school of they can do checklists with you to see if a referral would be helpful
4- Ask school of she can see the school nurse
5- If you could facilitate it, while it's being investigated I would ask school for a part-time timetable. Either shorter days or a day off on the week whichever you think would help for her. If it was my child I would just do what was best for her despite threats from school about absence/fines etc. if it's medical it can be authorised.
6- Keep records of everything for professionals in the future

My DD's been on the waiting list for the Long Covid team for over a year and a half. We've had no help whatsoever.

I know you weren’t asking me but we are French as well as British and lived in France for 9 years (now in the Netherlands). The French appear to start school early (age 2) but 3-4 years of this is kindergarten (école maternelle) and ‘proper learning’ (reading, writing etc) doesn’t begin in a way that the British would recognise until age 6 at least. Much better all round I think!

So sorry to hear, sadly, can well believe it. I have long COVID since 2020, finally getting a call from a local long COVID clinic next week! Check out BACME...https://bacme.info/ If they present with PEM, they might be able to help. They treat ME/CFS. I'm going to ask to be referred to them myself. They might be able to help your little one.x

As so many others have said its not normal. Definitely see GP but it sounds so similar to my DS before he got his autism/adhd diagnosis. Even he did several after school clubs though and wasn't as exhausted as you're saying your DD is.

It really is unusual to need to wear ear defenders for someone who is not ND.

I find it strange you don't seem to want to do anything about it. If you let her have time off school then that could just lead to more problems.

Oh no sounds awful, my son ended up with a 6pm bedtime for the first couple of years at school. @ However he is also dyslexic. It is common for a dyslexic child to have tantrums after school and to be extremely tired. The effort involved in learning to read, write and maths plus cope with dancing words on pages etc is extremely tiring. Perhaps look it up and see a GP rule out a physical problem.

@StrawberryShortbread2001

Sorry, forgot to link in your handle. Hope the following helps.
So sorry to hear, sadly, can well believe it. I have long COVID since 2020, finally getting a call from a local long COVID clinic next week! Check out BACME...bacme.info/ If they present with PEM, they might be able to help. They treat ME/CFS. I'm going to ask to be referred to them myself. They might be able to help your little one. x

I did wonder if different schools do it differently. My DD definitely still saw it as mainly play in Y1. They did do some sitting down at tables. But every afternoon was free flow to the outside 'rainbow time' - they could choose what to play with.

Thank you.

I notice one or two pp have mentioned this but your DD is neurodivergent. My guess as a random on the internet is ADHD. My DD was the same at that age and my DS is going through it now. She is exhausted because she masks all day at school and then let's it all out when she is in her safe space (with you) go to gp and demand a referral. It is a very long wait list 12+ months.

Right I've read through the responses and all your replies and frankly I'm really concerned for your child as you're flat out ignoring everyone who is telling you, rightly so, to take this poor child to a doctors for some medical attention. Why you would turn to Mumsnet rather than a GP or nurse is beyond me, this is very clearly not normal for a 6 year old who should be full of beans and certainly not "burnt out" from school, which is largely playing at that age. Please just go and see a GP. This should be an absolute priority and its cruel that it hasn't been, or doesn't seem to have been!

Film/record her behaviour.
Show recordings to a gp or school and insist they refer you for assessments, blood tests and rule out everything!
in infants my DD was doing dance after school and swimming at weekends and wasn’t his tired 3 weeks into term….
Please fight for your DD as no one else will… and good luck

And please go to GP ASAP… yes it could be ASD or ADHD/ADD but it could also be something sinister causing her exhaustion… like leukaemia … and while that’s worse case scenario you need to rule out the possibility that it’s physical!!

OP hasn't been back since page 4 and won't be. She doesn't want to hear that her child might have a medical condition and only that she should pull her out of full time school.

100% This

And pretty much everyone I know right now (and I'm in my 50s) is not coping with life. Several people who were close friends have already passed away through accident, misadventure, or high risk behaviour, some have died from drugs / alcohol, one from consequences of extreme anorexia, and some from suicide.

I'd say it's quite clear this life is not suiting a huge percentage of people and that the global corporate capitalist model that we're all being shunted into like cattle and the education system is set up for, isn't suited to many many human beings who have different needs.

I don't think that's fair. She might just be overwhelmed with the idea her DD could be neurodivergent. She may have booked a GP appointment - we have no right to be updated on that.

Does she eat healthily? Exercise? Does she have fresh cooked meals or lots of takeouts?

She might have overload. Or friendship problems.
Shouldn't be that tired.

She sounds a bit overwhelmed.

Exactly the same as my youngest was. He was diagnosed with ASD. Let's hope OP has taken our concerns on board even if she hasn't been back.

The first dozen or so posts all said to take her to a GP, or asked if she'd been seen by a GP, and the OP wrote a further seven posts, even quoting posters who asked if she had been to see a GP, and completely ignored the suggestion - just acted as if no-one had mentioned a need to be seen by a doctor. So I think it is a fair assessment.