Man on school run

[Frisps]

I see a man every morning on the school run and he stares at me. Like a really intense look and what I can only describe as an ‘evil’ sort of angry glare look on his face. I’ve no idea why. Never spoke to him, never had any issue. He doesn’t know me or anyone I know on the school run. His children are in a different year group to mine so there is no issues there. I just always see him every morning. The first few times he did it I just smiled but now I keep trying to avoid eye contact when I go past him but I can tell he’s still doing it as I feel his eyes on me as I go past. I did think I was being paranoid but I’m definitely not. the last couple of days he’s also walked past my car when I’ve been parked and I’ve been sat in it minding my own business. I’ve looked out my windscreen and then as he’s passed my window I’ve felt his eyes on me so looked and he’s staring at me like that whilst looking into my car window at me as he passes. I’m starting to feel quite annoyed and intimidated by this. What would you do?

Have you watched him interact with other people?

Do you know his name, if he has a partner etc. Would you consider reporting him-just in case, God forbid, anything was to happen - at least you have flagged him.

I'd be amazed if op reporting "school run man looks at me" would cause him to be recorded anywhere so he can be 'flagged up'.

I would just be inclined to ask him outright.
The worst thing that can happen is that he continues to stare at you afterwards and how much worse off would you be?

He's probably glaring at you because you are glaring at him.

He’s probably just in pain.

The worst thing that can happen is he is aggressive or violent!

I would speak to him if only to let him know you’re not intimidated by him. Can’t you ask around about it? Find out the general consensus? Surely someone will say ‘Oh that’s Jack’s Dad, he’s a funny one / nutcase / lovely bloke / quiet chap / new around here. I’d have to say ‘Hiya, alright?’ If only because you might see him every morning for the next 6 years. There’s loads of Dads I mutter a a quick morning to but have no idea what their name is or who their kids are.

I get it, as was in a similar position with DS2s school run, except the man used to say 'weirdo' or 'bitch' at me as i walked past. Never knew him as i was new to the area, and he didnt live in my street.
I ignored him, and eventually he stopped, but it is intimidating especially when you've got your youngsters with you!
Good luck OP

Lol

Imagine if op asking around about him triggers HIM to feel intimidated and reporting op to....umm....somewhere 😬

I would ask him wtf his problem is ?

Confronting him should be an absolutely last resort. You clearly feel vulnerable, so if you insist on doing so, drive up to where he is parked but remain in your LOCKED car whilst you politely greet him etc. You'll feel safer and more confident that way.

Not sure if confronting him is safe but something needs to be done. It's a form of harassment surely?

😂😂love this

Any chance it's just his face? I naturally have rb face and as a kid people would often bring it up. It was nothing personal. That's just my face. 😂

Yes to short sighted too, I'd also get 'oh you ignored me' .. No. I'm just blind.

Personally I'd ignore it but tbh I probably wouldn't see him anyway 😂

Haha just saw someone said the same. I'd put money on it, that's his face.

Welcome2thecircus
You may be surprised that you have been " reported" and are now " flagged up " on different lists.

Personally, as I'm not backward in going forward, I would probably go up to him ask him "how are you today? Here we are again same same very day' kind of conversation starter or I would just just ask him straight out wtf his issue is.

I'd be tempted just to simply say "Good Morning" with a smile every time he does it.

I disagree with most posters. Typically instincts are spot on with stuff like this. It’s making you uncomfortable for a reason.

not sure what I’d do about it to be honest. I wouldn’t be talking to him when I was alone though. Perhaps there is someone you can take with you on the school run sometimes? Do you have any school run friends / acquaintances you can ask to observe?

Sometimes socioecon status can play a part - are you visibly affluent. drive a high status car, belong to a visibly different socioeconomic group to him? Sometimes pple show hostility to others with more or less than them & stereotype them into the "oppressor" eg "being stuck up" "them & us" mentality or if the person has less, are "lowering the tone", the "wrong crowd". Scapegoating & acting territorial because of his own (possible) prejudices are not your problem & you're not doing anything "wrong".
People are weird & unfathomable at times.

Try not to take it personally (which is hard when you've done nothing to warrant the hostility).

I'd sound others out if possible (discretely) about him to be safe & try to ignore him.

He may be socially awkward, just have glary eyes or be mistaking you for somebody else who has done him some perceived wrong, hence the hostility.

Could you get another person to witness the look he gives you if possible (ie a passenger in your car or in back seat?) Hopefully it's a case of mistaken identity but having another person - sadly possible another male may throw off this person's weird territorial/hostile behaviour towards you.

My first thought was that you sit with your engine running near the school. It's incredibly annoying and rude and it's the only possible thing I can think of that would warrant the cold hard stare he's giving you.

I would say "Good morning!" in the breeziest tone possible with a big, cheery old smile. See how he responds. If he doesn't return a spoken greeting (rather than just a smile) then something's up and you can deploy some of the other advice on offer. Maybe he's just socially inept however.
At least by doing this you'll definitely know how to proceed rather than stressing about it.

To all the posters saying "so what, it's just staring, you're probably imagining it, there's nothing really wrong with it" - these days, in some contexts staring is considered harassment. There's a police awareness campaign about staring on the tube for example:

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-61263393

This guy seems to be going for intimidation rather than sexual harassment.

I have a similar scenario going on, and I'm also wondering how to deal with it...I think the guy doing it in my case is possibly quite unwell though so I'm not going to confront him. Op may feel differently about a parent at the school gate however.