AIBU to not borrow DP money?

[bethe1uwant2]

We've been together 8 years and have 2 young children. We rent, and although I would love my own house, I don't know if it will ever be possible as dp since I have known him has been irresponsible with money and forever in dept.

I have on a few occasions had to pay his debt off which I've always made him pay back. But it's a vicious cycle.

He owes my 7 year old £3000 from his savings as he needed it to buy a car 'so he could get to work' turns out he could have got a lift everyday with co worker.

Recently I found out he took another loan out with ridiculous interest added which is another set back for us to buy a house.

He is self employed and although he's been offered employment which I have encouraged him to take, he gets defensive and refuses.

We only ever argue about money. He is a great dad and partner and a hard worker who would give us his last dime, but he is just so irresponsible when it comes to managing money. I have tried to help and asked to see his bank which he refuses.

He usually pays all the bills on time.
Anyway, over Christmas we have spent a fortune and are both skint. I work part time but luckily am good with money and have some savings, he has asked to borrow £300 as his bills go out tomorrow. I will obviously give him the money, but i need him to start managing it better and everyone i bring it up into conversation he gets defensive and we argue!

When will he learn? AIBU????

Stop bailing him out and get him to repay your child ASAP.

He is a great dad and partner and a hard worker who would give us his last dime well that's just not true is it. He hasn't used his last dime to pay the bills which I'm sure you'd want him to do with his money.

I think I would give him an ultimatum, you either have a bit more control over his finances or you are not lending him money every again.

I would be VERY worried about the money he owes your son. How is ever going to return it to you.

You mean lend him the money not borrow. I can't believe he's borrowed £3k from your child! Stop lending him money.

Well you keep bailing him out, so he’ll never start managing his money better.

As for “borrowing” 3k off your child, fucking disgusting because you know that isn’t getting paid back.

He’s really not a great dad. He’s a financial fuckwit, pretending to be self employed when actually whatever he’s doing is a hobby while sponging off you and his own children.

But you know all this, so it’s a case of put up or shut up.

It’s your kids I feel sorry for. Can’t even save their birthday money without daddy leeching off them.

He is a great dad and partner and a hard worker

He's effectively stolen £3k from your child, has turned down the offer of permanent employment and has left you dependent on renting without end instead of saving for a deposit for a mortgage.

Wise up, girl, He's nothing of the sort.

As far as I can see he's not borrowed money off your child..... he's stolen it!

He will never get any better at managing money. Never. Why? because he knows he has access to funds from you and the kids piggy banks if he needs it. You are enabling him.

Does he gamble I wonder? What was the high interest loan for? - him or the family.

God please don't give him your kids' money, they'll resent that in the future.

What an utter shit man all round. Claw dc's money back and get rid of him.

This!

You're not getting that £3k back.

How can you say he's a hardworking and would give you his last dime?? Of course he would, because it's probably yours or the kids. It's disgusting he's borrowed the kids money.

He is a great dad and partner and a hard worker

No he isn't, he is an absolute loser.

Absolutely! You need to take the blinders off with this one.

This.

He's a sponger.

He's hiding something. The thing about the car, did you actually find out how much it really cost? There's gambling, or some other secret money pit addiction. Has he ever had addiction issues in the past? I think he needs help but you must give him an ultimatum in that you will never bail him out again. And he pays back your child on a payment plan that you both sign.

disgusting behaviour

by your own admission he has stolen from his child.
he took money he didn’t need then instead of working to repay the money he took… he ran up more debt.

utterly revolting…

i couldn’t live with or share a bed with a man like this.

I dug dp out of debt once and once only. He was warned he got into debt we were over. I still have access his credit file just incase

He took 3k from his own child !! Wow.

I'd make sure he doesn't have access to anything except his own account. Don't share a joint account with him. Stop bailing him out.

He definitely won't learn as long as you keep giving him money, will he?

Be clever.

Give him nothing more but play nice until every single penny is back in your child's account.

Then dump this loser like the sack of shit he is

Stealing from a child is outrageous

Do not marry him, do not buy a house with him and make sure you get regular credit checks for yourself to make sure he isn't taking out loans in your name without your knowledge.

Do you pay into the bills in proportion to your income? Is he on paper able to cover his part of the bills? Are you left with a similar amount of disposable income? You need to sit down together and thrash out a budget.

Hes not a great partner, dad or hardworker though is he? If he was he would be taking the employment (unless he earns enough to cover his bills which he doesn't). Wouldn't have "borrowed" 3k off his child, and wouldn't need you to keep bailing him out.

Can't believe he's taken £3,000 from your child's account... Yet you still bail him out.

Wake up!

The guys a loser

In what way exactly are you ‘partners’?

He's a disrespectful, irresponsible parasite. I can't see what the point of him is.