Would you ever leave a 15 yo home overnight?

[GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing]

I’m going away with my 10yo in the summer for a weekend.

15 yo doesn’t want to come (was offered, and originally booked to come).

She can stay with her dad who lives around the corner or is more than capable of getting to grandparents for the weekend.

Shes suggested she’d like to stay home alone. Will be 16 a couple of months later, when I suspect I’d be unreasonable not to leave her. Extremely sensible and no chance shed trash the place.

Why does she want to stay alone? Sometimes finds Dad annoying, plus he has a baby and toddler, and just staying at home is easier than any other options. She likes alone time. I guess she might invite over a couple of equally sensible friends which would be fine.

Any thoughts?

Agree with have it’s not long they will be independent so if your answer is “no way” if no additional needs etc it would be quite concerning that a nearly 16 year old needs constant adult supervision. Sorry but anecdotally I do think our generation babies our teens - far more than our parents did us anyway.

Those saying the parents will be liable if the kid has an accident- no they wouldn't, unless the accident was predictable and/or the teenager was clearly not mature enough to be left (so one with LDs or serious MH issues or some ND conditions for example)
if a NT reasonably mature 15 year old has an unavoidable unpredictable accident the parents are not legally liable.

No I'd wait until 17.

I'd say it's fine. I was left at that age (and younger).

You say she likes her alone time, finds dad 'a bit annoying' at times, and that his house has a baby and toddler. I think that's where I'd look for the reasoning.

If he lives nearby, I'd trust her sensibleness and leave her to it.

That's a different scenario. There's an adult in the house.

I have left my DS aged 15 overnight. They are both sensible and respectful. I have friends round the corner and my sister five minutes walk away. It was all fine.

Reading this www.rbkc.gov.uk/pdf/FPI%20is%20it%20legal%20Feb_08.pdf - whilst it says there is no legal age limit for a child to be left alone, the parent is responsible up to age 16.

I am all for age appropriate freedoms. However in the vast majority of cases, it's hardly babying to have an adult there at night for an under 16, and we didn't leave DS home alone until that age.

OPs circumstances are different as the DF is round the corner, but I hate this idea that not letting 15 or even 14 year olds be home alone is symbolic of modern mollycoddling.

Of course she will be fine. She's 15 not 5

By the time you've called your mum and asked what to do, the ceiling would have come in. You need to know what to do right away.

There are some very smug parents on here. Well I am not so sure that you've run through every single emergency that could arise and who to call in each one. But perhaps you have!

I don't think people care who's "liable", they don't want their kids (or the house) to come to any harm.

At university you are usually in halls of residence or at least living with other people, so you are not on your own if something goes wrong.

And presumably on your school exchange you had a host family.

And I didn't have any need to leave my ds before he was 17, or for more than one night.

I would
but put anything valuable away, The 'empty' at that age is a rite of passage.

I don't know where our stopcock is . Thankfully it's never been an issue in our 18 years at this house.

Surely most emergencies are call 999, call the grid… call mum.

Not that much explaining to do. Fire out 999, break in get out call 999. Trapped under a unit shout to Alexa to call 999 and to then call me. First aid cupboard is where it’s always been and let me know. Smell gas out and call the grid and me. Water leak the stop cock is in the cupboard under the air fryer turn left.

Your starving? Foods where it’s always been 😂

locks broken. Call me ill send the locksmith.

Think it's fine if she's sensible and knows who to contact in an emergency

I wouldn’t.

It's fine. If your dd is responsible enough and family are round the corner then that's fine.

How many times has “the ceiling fallen in” 🙄. I’m nearly 50 this has never happened to me or anyone else I have ever known.

If this did happen presumably the 15 year old would have the basic common sense to vacate the house and go to the nice neighbour / friend round the corner / ring us. I would be quite disappointed if my nearly 16 year old was so useless she needed the constant presence of mummy at all times.

Until we had a water leak it hadn't even occurred to me that one would happen. I had thought of other things, like lightning strikes, trees falling on the car in high winds, candles toppling over etc, but not a water leak (it wasn't winter and there weren't frozen pipes etc).

I really don't think it's that unusual not to have thought of every single thing that could go wrong in a house, and I am the sort of person who does plan ahead and think of things that could go wrong.

And if a child does live alone at 16 they are usually in a flat with other people, and the maintenance is outsourced. It's not their problem if something goes wrong, like if it happens at a university hall of residence.

If they were happy to be alone then of course yes. I don't see a problem with it.

Several people literally said that

I think your dd is very capable of being alone, especially with her dad close by etc. But, I would be worried about her inviting mates round and it getting out of hand. I was a good kid and loved my parents, but when I was 15 I wasn't past raiding the drinks cabinet at friends houses if it was available and topping it up with water... or being alone with boys. So I would be wary that some less than perfect behaviour might happen, even if your daughter is generally very trustworthy. Maybe get her dad to pop over a couple of times in the evening to check on her.... or say she has to be at least 16 and delay the problem..

I had a full on house at 17. I certainly needed to know how to repressive my boiler and where the stop cock was and how to cook food without burning down the house 😂

I would, especially given there are close relatives living nearby. All the water leak, fire disasters could just as easily happen when you leave them for a couple of hours.

Really?

I recently had to go away overnight for work. It was a Saturday evening, DH came with and we left the 16 and 15 year old to be looked after by the dog.

Guess what happened? Absolutely nothing. They cooked pizza, gamed and even washed up after themselves!

It 100% depends on the child

It's one night though, I wouldn't leave a 15 yo with no family near by at all, it's literally no different than you going out for the evening as a water leak could happen then. My 15 yo brother burnt some chicken nuggets when my mum was at work once as she talked him through putting the fire in the oven out. As long as someone you/they trust is nearby then its surely fine.

I am the worlds biggest worrier but for some reason I am happy with my kids being at home alone, DS 17 out driving with his mates not so much!