Would you ever leave a 15 yo home overnight?

[GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing]

I’m going away with my 10yo in the summer for a weekend.

15 yo doesn’t want to come (was offered, and originally booked to come).

She can stay with her dad who lives around the corner or is more than capable of getting to grandparents for the weekend.

Shes suggested she’d like to stay home alone. Will be 16 a couple of months later, when I suspect I’d be unreasonable not to leave her. Extremely sensible and no chance shed trash the place.

Why does she want to stay alone? Sometimes finds Dad annoying, plus he has a baby and toddler, and just staying at home is easier than any other options. She likes alone time. I guess she might invite over a couple of equally sensible friends which would be fine.

Any thoughts?

Yes. But then I was living alone at 16 and my mum regularly travelled abroad when I was 14/15 as she didn’t want to pay for me to come

At 16.5 I went to university the opposite end of the country (accelerated two years in high school).

At 17.5 my parents put me on a plane to the US for a years exchange - days before mobile phones and the internet - they didn't hear from me for a few days until I sorted out a phone card and after that it was one phone call every Saturday morning.

The idea that a 15 year old cannot left over night is beyond me.... and as for a 17 year old only being left for one night..........

What are parents doing to the next generation

Yup. My DS was 15 the first time I left him overnight to go to a different city for a concert.
Then I left him for 3 nights to go to a different country when he was 16 for the first time.

Oh and we had no family or close friends locally either. I asked my neighbour to keep an eye on him, but that was more to let me know if there were any gatherings/parties in my house while I was away!🤣

Yes, I did. No problems, just take away debris! My daughter had a couple of friends over, they were absolutely fine. She's 24 now, great job, lovely partner, well travelled, mortgage on their first home .... she turned out well

I would. At 16 my DD could be leaving home to go to a high school in a different town so would be sensible to build up to complete independence by allowing overnights at 15.
I'd warn about the risks of inviting a couple of friends and it getting out of control though.

@whenlifegivesyoulemonssuckonthem says! I worked 'the season' in Cornwall when I was just 16 for 5mths and had a ball. Went to India for 8ths when I was 17/18 - brilliant experience. A year in Australia at 18 - no mobile phones then but I survived and had a bloody great time.
My kids have the same freedom.

What are parents doing to the next generation

@whenlifegivesyoulemonssuckonthem It all depend on the child. My parents went on holiday for a week when I was 15, everything was fine. My DS is abit daft though, he’s less mature than his sister (18) was at the same age. So we think he needs another year. Some kids are more mature than others. 🤷

Normally I'd say no, but I think as she would almost be 16 and Dad is round the corner it's ok. I think Dad should check on her in evening just to make sure she is ok.

This is Mumsnet where people will tell you you’re crazy for leaving anyone under 16 alone, but then when they turn 16 they should immediately be moving out and getting a job and they are no longer the parents responsibility

Same

A 16 year^ old^ couldn't cope on their own and would forget to lock up?

Assuming no SEN, why on earth aren't you teaching them?

Each to their own but i wouldn’t like it (even at 16) & wouldn’t do it

Can you leave her on condition that her dad drops in to check on her at least once? She might be scared, she might have a party, she might sneak a boyfriend in, it depends on what sort of 15 year old she is.

My parents left me for a fortnight when I was 15 or 16, on the condition that I had a sensible friend to stay. I had my friend Neil for the first week and my friend Natalie for the second week. I had a job so I was going to that. Nothing bad happened and I didn't do anything stupid. It depends on the kid, doesn't? My aunt left home at 16. The idea that a 15, nearly 16 year old is by definition incapable of looking after themselves for a couple of nights seems silly to me - obviously there are some kids you definitely couldn't trust at that age (and likely my 10 yo son will be one of them, but then he's autistic and has ADHD and is quite immature) but if you trust your kid I think it's fine.

The issue would arrive if there was any sort of accident , that could then leave you at risk of prosecution

Nope. When I was 15 a friend's mum went way on holiday, leaving her and her 13 year old sister home alone. The friend had a party which was so bad it resulted in the police being called, structural damage to the house (bannisters destroyed) etc. Over 100 people turned up.

That may be an extreme example and most kids won't do this but it's inoculated me for life. I wouldn't do it if my life depended on it.

If God forbid anything went wrong, I think you could be in trouble

It is quite funny how loads of us where living totally away from parents by 16/17 years old yet a 15 year old is too young for one night.

How Does one magically mature enough to say live alone in one 24 hour period from age 15 to turning 16, or 16 to 17 for those who say they wouldn’t even leave a 16 or 17 year old.

children teenagers are expected to know how to do washing and load a dishwasher and cook a family dinner, pick up bits of shopping but are yet too little to be left alone for one night. Mind boggling.

15..not 5, right? The way some people are going on, honestly. If your 15 year old isn't capable of spending 1 night alone at home, then you've failed them as a parent quite frankly (with the exception of teens with additional needs of course).

Yep, absolutely I would. Any additional needs aside, I would be concerned about a 15yr old that couldn't look after themselves for a few nights.

Absolutely.

Special needs aside, I find it concerning that there are so many 15 year olds who can't be left alone for a night in their own home.

My main objection to leaving a 15 year old alone would be the likelihood that they would have loads of friends round or have a party. I mentioned in an earlier post that I would be concerned about my daughter bothering to lock up properly or set the alarm at that age, but that isn't a reflection of her ability to live independently at 16. I'm sure she wouldn't have come to harm being left alone for a couple of nights at that age, but I would be concerned about my house and belongings. I was working and living independently by not much older than that, but I doubt very much that I had the same concerns about security that I have now, probably because at 16 I had very little of value, lived in a grotty rented flat, and didn't have my own home with belongings that I'd accumulated over a period of 50 years.

I would. Dd1 is 15 (16 next month) and would be fine and sensible. Not sure her younger sisters will be as reliable at 15. Make a judgment on your own dc - mine is lovely, kind, reliable and a total introvert so no parties are likely.

If dad's just around the corner would he pop round and check on her?

I have although the 15 year old in question has an older sister (18) so has never been left completely alone. In case of emergencies we have friendly neighbours and my mum and their dad live not far away. If it was just the 15 year old she would probably stay at her dad’s instead but I would still be happy to leave her for one night.