Would you ever leave a 15 yo home overnight?

[GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing]

I’m going away with my 10yo in the summer for a weekend.

15 yo doesn’t want to come (was offered, and originally booked to come).

She can stay with her dad who lives around the corner or is more than capable of getting to grandparents for the weekend.

Shes suggested she’d like to stay home alone. Will be 16 a couple of months later, when I suspect I’d be unreasonable not to leave her. Extremely sensible and no chance shed trash the place.

Why does she want to stay alone? Sometimes finds Dad annoying, plus he has a baby and toddler, and just staying at home is easier than any other options. She likes alone time. I guess she might invite over a couple of equally sensible friends which would be fine.

Any thoughts?

Probably call her mum and ask her what to do?

Presumably they're not travelling to the moon. Or maybe mum can leave a list of important numbers and where to find the stopcock etc. 15 YO are not completely incompetent.

I would, but I would also ask her dad to drop round (and let her know) to just check she's ok, if you're on ok terms with him.

My boys were both fine at that age to do an overnight alone, they were both sensible and never invited people over other than those they had asked about before (kids that were always here anyway).

We have ring doorbell/security cameras so know they didn't take the piss.

I can understand people maybe not wanting to leave DC under 16 but I would be extremely disappointing in my parenting if a 16/17 yo could not be left at home overnight TBH. As long as there are neighbours/family close by it should be fine.

I think it is important for that age to have a bit of independence. I would probably allow 1 friend to stay (ensure parents know) and that Dad checks in a few times.
If she is mature and sensible, I don't see the issue.

It's called mumsnet mollycoddling syndrome. Unless special circumstances (immature teen, unsafe area, previous mistrust issues) there is no reason why a 15 (nearly 16) year old cannot be left overnight.

Wow! I bet your parents weren't over the moon on their return!

It's like so much in life - you can often trust the ones you love and know they are sensible - it's just all the other potential wild cards out there who can become the issue.

Her dad is around the corner for emergencies so, yes.

The pros and cons just made me think of last night, after dark, when a guy who wanted to deliver an Amazon parcel to our neighbours, knocked on the door.

He was friendly, it was totally fine, and I just accepted the parcel, had a bit of a chat to him while he photographed it, and went back in. However, if I'd been home alone for the first time, as a 15-year-old, I think I would've found it potentially quite unsettling.

15 is fine to be home alone if its far to young why are there 16 year olds moving out.

15yo is fine. My DD and her friends play Dungeons and Dragons till midnight then all go to bed. The worst they get up to is watching a scary movie.

I moved out at 16yo so I'm not sure why parents are so freaked about their kids staying home. Unless you've not taught them what to do in an emergency in which case you need to up your parenting game.

I wouldn't because I couldn't relax

But that's me

Agree with this mollycoddling.
Kids need to grow up at some point.

Totally depends on the child and the situation.

We left our 17, 15 and 13 year old overnight not long ago. I appreciate there is safety in numbers eg if one fell down the stairs or cut themselves then there is someone else to help/call for help etc.
17 year old has ASD so will not break any rules and would snitch on the others in a heartbeat so we could trust that no party would happen!
15 year old is really practical - she cooks family meals regularly, is an explorer scout and first aid trained, could solve a problem quite easily if something broke etc
13 year old is happy as long has access to his computer and snacks!

I know that as parents we have equipped our children with the skills to look after themselves and know what to do in an emergency. We also have quite level headed children who arent anxious or particularly fighty siblings.
Other children are different so its up to the parent to consider if their child is ready. My friend is a social worker and she says if you are happy to leave a child in the day then night time isnt really any different.

This

I can't believe some peoples reactions here. People live alone fully at age 16.. what harm is a 15 year old to come to for one night? Let your kids breathe ffs

I agree

We left DS (15) overnight a couple of months ago as he didn’t want to come with us. We let our neighbors (whom we’re close to) know and they agreed to help DS out if necessary. Everything was fine until my neighbor texted at 11p.m. to say that he thought that DS may have fallen asleep after letting the dog out in the back garden. I asked my neighbor to please use his key to let the dog in and check on DS…who was predictably fast asleep!

So that’s decided us that DS isn’t ready to be left yet. We might try again when he’s 16.

No. I have a 16yo ds and I absolutely wouldn't leave him.

He'd forget to lock up, or leave the oven on or use his laptop in bed so it overheated. Definitely not.

Anyway, after the bravado had faded, he would be lonely and stressed.

Which could happen if she was 17.
Honestly it depends,on the15 year old I would have happily left my just turned 17 gear old at that age but he's very sensible and would probably just stay in his room gaming on line .

I used to stay home when my parents went on holiday from 14 as there were some I didn’t fancy doing. I didn’t burn the place down or get myself in trouble. I did get quite good at a few cake recipes though. Mostly I went to see friends during the day so hardly there anyway.

Is it one night or more? I might consider for one night depending on her experience staying on her own and how close relatives/ neighbours are.
At this age I stayed a few times at home for one night but I stayed A LOT on my own during the day and evenings since early age due to family circumstances and was generally very sensible (I could even say boring ) and we had very good neighbours next to us. I was allowed to invite one friend , no more.
On the one of the nights things actually went wrong as a drunk relative of our other new neighbour arrived late at night and started knocking to us. His relative was at night shift so no one at home but this person didn’t know and knocked to us trying to find out where his son was. It was quite a scary as obviously with him being drunk I and my friend couldn’t understand what he wanted over the door, and we didn’t know much about new neighbour. I called the other neighbour, she came and sorted it out . It was literally an unfortunate coincidence of an estrange father coming to sort out relationship exactly on the day of neighbour’s night shift and my parents being away. Tbh I felt a bit uneasy of staying late on my own for a bit after that, my friend was very scared and absolutely refused to come to mine even on the evenings again.

It's fine, I used to house sit for friends and relatives at that age!

You clearly trust her and she sounds sensible

I would not leave someone who was still legally a child home alone overnight. If that makes me a mollycoddler I'm ok with that. Rather be safe than sorry.

I would and have with my 15 year old. I told them (and did) give a spare key to the house to grandparents and told them they would be popping in unannounced during the time. I also called twice a day. Nothing happened, my child was fine, no friends over. You know your child best op

Given that Dad is round the corner and sounds like Grandparents are close I suspect any emergency would be dealt with.

Perhaps an opportunity to teach about the emergencies she needs to be prepared for, like knowing where the stopcock is.