Would you ever leave a 15 yo home overnight?

[GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing]

I’m going away with my 10yo in the summer for a weekend.

15 yo doesn’t want to come (was offered, and originally booked to come).

She can stay with her dad who lives around the corner or is more than capable of getting to grandparents for the weekend.

Shes suggested she’d like to stay home alone. Will be 16 a couple of months later, when I suspect I’d be unreasonable not to leave her. Extremely sensible and no chance shed trash the place.

Why does she want to stay alone? Sometimes finds Dad annoying, plus he has a baby and toddler, and just staying at home is easier than any other options. She likes alone time. I guess she might invite over a couple of equally sensible friends which would be fine.

Any thoughts?

I stayed home alone at 15.

If you think she's sensible, then it's fine. Her father and others are available if there are problems.

By allowing her to choose and supporting her choice you are showing her how much you trust her. By not allowing it, you're showing that you don't see her as capable.

She'll probably want to show you how mature and sensible she is.

Of course if she's sensible .. and she's more nearer 16.
I left mine age 15 often. She did choose a friend to stay over ( the mother knew). They ordered pizza.. bought snacks and watched Friends all weekend.

I pulled that trick whem i was a "sensible" 15 yr old. Had the best party and lost my virginity in one night.

I would never leave my 15 yr old home alone

I left our son for 1 night just before he turned 16. I think it depends totally on the young person. My son didn't want to come with us, he ordered a pizza & the next door neighbours were on standby. We had no problems at all and are planning another night away soon. I moved out of home at 16!

You can apply for the military at 16, for some perspective.
I think it should be considered on a case-by-case basis. Do you trust her? You are her parent and know if she is mature enough. If it is her first time being left alone overnight, then it would be good to let some responsible adults know and leave contact details so she knows who to call if there are any problems. It's not unreasonable to leave a 15-year-old overnight. Many parents leave young children with 15/16 year olds to babysit.

For one night yes, a week I’d be wary

I’m astounded by the number of people who wouldn’t trust their kids with this.

I was left at 14/15 for my mum to go on holiday for a week or two at a time, before the days of mobile phones being common or useable abroad. These days you can literally keep in contact 24/7.

I’m working a night shift tonight, I don’t do many (one every couple of months), my son normally goes to my sister or if she isn’t free then my mum, he hates it, he's begged me to let him stay at home where he is more comfortable so I have agreed tonight to see how it goes, he’s not 15 for a couple of weeks yet but pretty mature and sensible for his age. He’s a bit of a hermit so I’m not really concerned about people coming over, at worst I suspect he’ll be on his computer until silly o’clock (and eat all the snacks!) but its Friday so not a big deal. He’ll have eaten before I leave so no cooking required. He won’t open the door unless he knows we’re expecting someone / something which we’re not. In case of emergency he has a phone! He knows how to dial 999. We have smoke alarms. We have a dog that’ll alert him if anyone is at either door. Phone also means I can check in on him at anytime. My mum is a 10 minute drive away if needed.

Yes I’m a tad nervous, yes I’ll fret a bit but thats normal because I care. Kids have to learn these things sometime. You can legally live alone at 16.

Only you can judge your daughters capabilities and trustworthiness but at almost 16 I’d be shocked if she couldn’t be trusted for one night.

NO

I have, it was for one night, he was with his 18 year old sister and it was two weeks off hid 16th. We waited for him to be ready, in reality he would have been fine much sooner as he is ridiculously sensible (confirmed by everyone he meets, not just my thoughts).

I have a 15 year old ds and no I wouldn't. He wouldn't do anything outrageous I don't think.... probably eat his body weight in cereal and play Xbox...but I'd worry about them being absent minded about things like turning off electricals, locking the front door etc. also any potential emergencies.

Another thing to add, they may think they're grown up but many would actually freak out at the idea of being alone in the house in the middle of the night and every sound in the house sets their mind panicking.

I would be quite worried if I couldn't trust my 15-16yo to manage for one night.

Well I would and did.

Yes I would

I was regularly left in charge of my younger sis overnight when I was 13 (no choice... mum was widowed and had to work nights for a while). No harm accrued.

Depends on the 15 year old but unlikely. 15 Yr old + empty house = party. Even if she didn't plan one but tells her friends she'll be alone, there'll be about an 80% chance she'll have lots and lots of friends popping by to 'hang out'.

People think the reason to not leave a teen home alone is they'll get frightened, they're too young, what if there's a fire etc etc. Hahaha. Nope. It's the party. Sorry, the 'couple of close friends popping by for a latte totally unexpectedly'

Or maybe kids nowadays genuinely aren't like my generation. We'd chuck a party any time our parent went for a long shit.

Don't you think that's OTT?

I think you're wrong actually....this may have been the case when we were all young but this generation is quite different.

When I was 15 (and a few months, so not even 15.5) my mum went abroad for the whole summer holidays to my dad ( who lived abroad). I wasn’t even asked! I had 2 older siblings who were in different towns far away who dropped in for a few days, but I was alone in the fall house for the vast majority of it. I loved it ( and didn’t have any friends to stay or parties or anything.)

Dd1 at 15 definitely yes absolutely fine. Dd2 probably ok yes if a school night but can be scatty with keys etc so would need back ups in place.

Agree having a load of mates over to trash the house is more of a 1990s thing

If her father is just around the corner and agrees to be available to help out if necessary, I think it's fine. If she doesn't like being alone midway through she can always go round to him.

It wasn’t even a question to me…surprised by some of the responses. Appreciate there will be exceptions but unless you have child with additional needs or they are particularly rebellious I can’t see that it’s reasonable not to let her stay home.

I stayed home alone for a week at 15. We lived pretty remotely so less chance of trouble but still. There were emergency numbers and I knew all the basics at home.

Would you not expect your children to start going on trips or things from 16 onward? As soon as friends started driving we started doing weekends in different bits of the country and I went abroad alone with friends for a week at 17.

An unexpected accident at home could happen in half an hour alone or a month. You can control for that, you can only prepare your child. If they break your trust by being irresponsible then they lose the chance to stay home in future?

No I wouldn't.

I think the house trashing is more of an age thing.

Most 15 year olds haven't fully discovered alcohol and majority of DPs still have curfews and rules for that age.
It's leaving them alone when they are 16-18 possibly older,when the house parties are likely to start.