More of a WWYD? Wedding abroad…

[Jessforless]

A friend of ours is getting married abroad and the cost of going, accommodation, a hen and stag day day trip cost which was A LOT in July.

We said we couldn’t go. We are trying so hard at the moment to save money for various reasons and this wasn’t in our plans. I’m talking package 7k plus for this.

The response to our decline wasn’t great, and they actually cancelled a few planned things with us last summer after we declined.

We felt awful and our children are such good friends, my DH found separately amazing flight deals, hotel, etc, so we decided, let’s just do it. The friendship means a lot.

We are basically 5k in to this trip, because of going for cheaper tickets etc for everything - all non refundable. Of course because we’re idiots.

you can probably see what’s coming?

They’ve cancelled the wedding today. They’re going to get married in the UK because one set of parents can’t go. We’re not the only people affected but a lot of people booked the package which you can get back as a voucher / move to a different holiday. We stupidly tried to save money and have booked flights through Skyscanner, accommodation through booking.com and a ticket to something local via get your guide. None of it is refundable.

Im so upset. Probably this thread is for nothing - because what can we do?! We’re going to have to just go to this place we would never have chosen to go to for a holiday and suck it up. Just feels so frustrating and unfair in a year where we really could have done without it.

So, probably tumbleweed… but what would you do? Please be gentle as I’m gutted about the money. Honestly, this was such a financial stretch for us this year but following their reaction we didn’t see what else we could no but try and get there as cheaply as possible.

Their uk wedding will be a quiet affair presumably after screwing over so many of their friends.

Sounds like a weird power imbalance thing - are they incredibly popular/ charismatic or something? Seems the friends of the couple (op included) are in thrall to the bridal couple.

Sue them for breach of contract.

Not bad.

What contract? The op was not forced to go

Your friends should reimburse you if you can't sort out out a refund.

Could you try and sell the holiday and pay for the name changes. ?

Bali is beuatiful, you'll have a fanatistic time. it's cheap once youre there too.

I would ditch the friends 100%. Disgusting behaviour

Who are the flights with? I know you booked through skyscanner, but which airline? Sometimes if you call them directly they will let you cancel (for a fee) and put the money into their ‘travel bank’ for use against another flight in the future (usually within the year). I would try calling their customer service and throw yourselves on their mercy. Same for the hotel group, call them direct.
Separately from that, do any of you going on the trip have any medical conditions that could flare up and make travel against doctors advice. The online gp services will do fit to fly or not fly letter for a charge and often are not too picky about what they sign for.

I've managed to get travel insurance through a bank pay out when the even we were travelling to cancelled. The declined at first saying we could go and it was our choice not too. I asked them to reconsider as the event was the only reason we were going and they did accept the claim.

If you do decide to go - Bali can be great (we have been 3 times). It's cheap when you are there, food is great. It's busy but it's beautiful. My kids really enjoyed it.

This is good advice.
Make new friends.
Enjoy your holiday . It might be the experience of a lifetime! It might confirm you don't like long distance holidays but it's an experience either way.
Do NOT go to their wedding.

Oh it isn't a terrible destination at all. Bali is stunning, you just need to do your homework to create a thoughtful itinerary rather than arrive and hope for the best. The latter will see you stuck in sleazy tourist traps, the former could mean an exquisite holiday.

Go, have a blast, and waste no more energy on these ex-friends.

ha. Absolutely agree with many others have said.

could also consider go to their planned Bali wedding venue and showed her what she missed out. 😆telling her what a shame she cudnt make it at Venue ABC. Snapped as much unreal beautiful scene as possible and contrast with the gloomy UK weather.

Ideally should also crash their wedding in an unharmful way - late for their wedding, break some glasses, cell phone rang in their first dance. If they asked you to leave at least half of their day is ruined.

Just some thoughts to share!

Non-refundable just means you won't get your money back, but doesn't necessarily mean you can't cancel and get a credit.

How did they tell you the Bali wedding was being cancelled? Did they ring up full of apologies? Or was it a mass message and they haven't acknowledged the dreadful situation they've put you in?

I love a destination wedding but the unwritten rule is that not everybody is going to be willing or able to travel. Never have, I met a couple that is so unreasonable, they would behave in the way this one have.

I think you should still go and have an amazing time in Bali with your family but as others say back away from the friendship. Their initial reaction tells you all you need to know.

So what the fuck did THEY say? If someone paid this much money for my wedding for me just to CANCEL it, I'd be mortified!

What an awful situation.

have you tried contacting the airline and booking.com directly - they may let you change your destination as it doesn't involve them loosing money.

I've had personal experience of cancelling with booking.com on two occasions previously and they've always been great.

They are going to have alienated a lot of people through this. How did they tell you all?

I went to Bali years ago only because I had to stop there on my way to another country but I loved it. The culture is amazing and it is very beautiful - as long as you stay away from Kuta. Which part are you booked into?

I agree with this. The islands around Bali are beautiful and are a very short boat ride away (hour or so). Maybe you could have an island-hopping holiday. I've been to Nusa Lembongan and it's gorgeous - great diving, great food in the warungs and fabulous beaches.

Go on your holiday, you'll have an amazing time 🙂

It depends on the airline but for example British Airways charges 100 pounds. Air Asia don't allow name changes at all . So you'll have to look at the carriers website

It's awful and I really feel for you OP. However, I would NEVER have committed to attending a wedding of "friends" who treated me the way yours did when you initially declined. Anyone who chooses to get married overseas has to factor in that some people are not going to want to attend, and no-one should expect family/friends to fork out a small fortune to travel to a wedding. These people really aren't your friends or they would have graciously accepted your decision when you declined rather than being so upset they cancelled planned events with you. That would have been it for me I'm afraid. In your shoes I would be backing off, they have behaved appallingly.

In the meantime I would be accepting that the family are going to Bali for a holiday and making sure I enjoyed every moment of it.

Could you maybe sell it?

When it's sold then cancel the cards you paid for it with. So the people won't have your asking won't have the details.

I also think you should go! I love Bali! I’m in Australia so it’s our go to for holidays (been 5 times 😂) short flight etc. but we always have a great time! Honestly there is nothing better than sitting by the pool with a drink in hand and there’s quite a lot to do! Are any of the other families still going ahead with the trip?

We had this, although they broke up 2 months before their destination wedding. We went and made it a holiday. It was not somewhere we would have chosen but we made the most of it. I would go and have a great time. I have vowed never to go to a wedding abroad again.

Have you contacted the hotel? If they are a chain maybe they will let you transfer to another in their chain.
we went up Bali for our honey moon - do your research and you will have a wonderful time.

I'd just go and have a great holiday, you've paid for it anyway so use it