AIBU to remove DD from school until they can stop this happening?

[BrokenGlassesandHeartedDD]

DD aged 9, Year 5.

Went back to school last Wednesday (3rd).

Got a call that day to say her glasses had been broken by a classmate and could I bring her spares in as she can’t wear hers – these are an old pair, they’re ok for a few days or a week or so but her prescriptions changed so she couldn’t wear them permenantly – went up to school found the arm completely snapped off her pair. Apparently the child took them off DDs face, ran off with them, dropped them and then either sat on them or deliberately stomped on them (the story varies depending on which child who witnessed it you ask).

Took them straight to Specsavers who said they couldn’t repair them as they don’t make those frames anymore. So I made an appointment for DD to choose some new frames – she’d had these glasses just over 3 months (got them just before going back to school in September) and her pairs usually last her 10-12 months before needing replacing (she’s had glasses since she was 4).

Next day I get the very same call from her teacher, the spare pair have been broken. They couldn’t confirm it was the same child who broke them but DD confirmed to me it was. This time they were wearable but very badly scratched. Child had again taken them off DDs face, ran off with them again and tripped over while carrying them and they’ve skidded along the playground lens down.

Specsavers bless them did an emergency issue of her new pair which she chose on Friday and we picked them up Monday after I called them on Thursday and explained about the spares. They’ve taken the old ones to see if they can repair them.

Yesterday DD goes away on a residential with her class, back tomorrow or so I thought.

Get a call from theschool secretary this morning “DDs glasses have been broken again can you run her spares up to the centre?” no I can’t her spares are still in for repair, so they’re sending DD home from her trip because she cannot see without her glasses and they're not covered by insurance if she's not wearing them. Apparently these ones have fallen from a height and then been accidentally stood on completely snapped in half.

ExH is on his way to get her, but thinks if she says it’s the same child whose broken them for a 3rd time then we should take her out of school until they can guarantee it won’t happen again as her glasses are such an important part of her being able to function. I sort of agree.

Can’t change school easily as DDs on an EHCP and already started transition to high school because of it although I will call an early review. But DD loves her school in general and has plenty of friends.

So WIBU to remove DD until this stops happening?

Why is it confidential to say if the boy got sent home it not? He should have been suspended!

Why was it confidential if the boy was sent home? The other kids know full well! Which of course means he was allowed to stay on the trip I expect., but HT didnt want to say...

I think it is very unfair that YOU have to write to the Governors for the cost of the glasses. It happened on school property, when you had given the school the authority and responsibility to care for your child. So I feel it is up to them to pay! And THEY can get reimbursed by the governors!!

Apart from those 2 gripes, it sounds like a productive meeting and that the HT cares about DD which is good.

She sounds like an excellent HT and how brilliant that DD was involved in the meeting and treated with such respect.
Excellent job mum and dad!

This sounds like a great outcome for all! I hope she enjoys her treats🤗

The head seems to have accepted they dropped ALL the balls there and are finally picking up their responsibilities.

Thanks for your update OP.
It sounds like the school knew they had not stepped in to resolve the issues in time. Make sure you do follow up with the further emails for the cost of the glasses, what their next step will be should it happen again and to be honest I’d ask for the full cost of the trip. Your daughter did not pull out of it. She was unable to go because of something that happened on school grounds.
If your daughter is meeting the kids at the bus, she will be able to tell you if the bully kid is on the bus. If so I would bring this up again with the head.
I’m glad your DD will get the celebration trip to make up for this one.

I'm glad that the Head Teacher is taking the incidents seriously and that you've received some compensation, hopefully you will also be reimbursed for the glasses. I hope that your DD is also okay, it's appalling what she's had to deal with.

That couldn't really have gone much better OP. Good outcome.

“He has also been punished for it and it will not happen again. If it does then the HT has said she will back me in a complaint to whoever I think is needed, including Ofsted and/or the SEN department at the council.”

but was are they putting in place to actually prevent it from happening again? If talking or punishment was going to work, it wouldn’t have happened a 2nd or 3rd time.

Meeting write up is in DDs bag signed by the HT

@Ponderingwindow They said he's being kept away from DD, her friends and any child that wears glasses, they didn't say how but I assume 1-1 or similar.

Good of you to update us, OP
It sounds like a satisfactory outcome, especially the bit about keeping the boy away from DD rather than the other way about - ask around and it'll be easy enough to find out if/how they're doing this

Of course the test will be what happens next; words are easy but it's how they handle things if it happens again that's the crux

In the meantime though, do approach the governors for your money and don't worry about what "pot" it comes out of - that's their problem to worry about not yours, and the very fact they've had to pay out will benefit you in that they'll want to make sure they don't have to keep doing it

Can you insure her glasses? And put them on a retainer so the friend can't do this plus meet regarding bullying at the school. I would mutter about costs and child parents getting a bill soon.

That sounds fairly positive - and if they cannot control the problem behavior with their current resources, your letter will help them make a case of additional support.

I'm really glad that effort was put into supporting and including your daughter, and giving her some positive rewards for her forbearance.

Wow, that's a great outcome, OP!

The cynic in me can't help but wonder if the school either know they are in dodgy territory or if they want the other child moved on to another school. I do hope they are just acting in DDs best interests, though.

It's great that they have partially reimbursed the trip and it sounds like governor's are likely to reimburse for the glasses.

I really hope the meeting helped DD to feel better about the situation and not to feel anxious about it going forward.

Thank you for the update. It's good that a process has started. However, why only half the fee returned? Your daughter had to withdraw from the trip due to the school's failure to keep the kid under control. This was after repeated incidents so they either did not prepare for it or were lax in how they managed it. They should reimburse you fully. Also I would have asked for their specific plan to stop it happening again.

Glad things seem to be going better though.

Thanks for the update. Hope your daughter is ok and not feeling scared of going to school on Monday

So was the child on the coach or not?

Sounds as though the HT has grabbed it by the balls and taken relevant action.

Who cares why? A good outcome for your DD is what was needed and it sounds as though that has been achieved.

BrokenGlassesandHeartedDD

Its sounds like it all went well, do chase the school if they don't hold up their end of this.

I would also just like to say that you do not and should not justify the cost of the glasses, as some on here seem to think that you should.
Your DD has the right to pick out any pair of glasses that she wants without fear of having some bully break them.

Sounds like a very sensible and empathic Head. Well done you & well done DD

How much of the trip was your child able to enjoy? If she was there 1 day out of 5 half the partial refund is not enough and you should insist on proper reimbursement. Write to the governors explaining that your child's glasses are not free - and even if they were 3 times in such a short space of time would still have required you to pay. Your child needs a spare pair, if the cost you quoted doesnt include that add it into your request for payment. If they refuse then tell them you'll see them in court and will then claim for travel costs too.

I'd also like to know - and your child's friends will be able to tell you - if the bully stayed on the trip. If they did that is not acceptable and should be included in your letter with a request to change school policy.

Glad to hear it went well!

Good news, OP.

Ah thanks for the update, the head sounds lovely

I think your HT is game playing a little as she’s/ he’s hoping to permanently exclude that child but knows the governors might overturn the exclusion. Thats why she’s asking you to write to them re the funding, as that’s more than within the HT to decide on their own. She can’t tell you what type of consequence the child has been given but she can direct you to which stage of the policy they are using. They know if they did not send the child home from the trip that they are unfairly excluding the victim of a targeted bullying campaign and who has SEND, so they are likely nervous about this. If the children are over 10, you could also report to the police as the child is criminally responsible. I’d be writing to request a SUbject access request of her pastoral and bullying records. It won’t include the info about the child but will include the rationale for the decisions made for your child. I’d also write to the governors to express your upset at the damage and targeted nature of this bullying and non satisfactory outcome at the seeming in-equity of the consequences. If you ask other parents, I’m sure let you know if that child went home.