5 year old took coat off-what would you have done?

[Swiftschoolpickup]

After school dog walk with my Dd, 5.5. It was cold (v cold) and almost drizzly. She had a long sleeved dress, tights and boots on and her puffa type jacket. All was going well, a nice walk, when Dd says she doesn’t want her coat on and takes it off. I tell her it’s too cold, it’s January and to put it back on, cue almighty meltdown, crying lots and shouting and refusing to put it on. So we walk back to the car to go home, walking past people looking at me like I’m an awful mother.
Dd calmed down later and said sorry, I said she didn’t need to say sorry but explained to her why she needs to wear a coat. She said she didn’t feel free, which I get…
Did I deal with this correctly? Never sure if I’m being too harsh or not firm enough
What would you have done?
Is it normal that she got this upset about it?

I must breed very stubborn, defiant children because no matter how cold they get they do not put the coat back on once they have made the decision to not wear it/take it off!

Regardless of which, she can live with being cold. She was on a dog walk in a British winter. She might feel cold, but she's not going to get hypothermia. If she was sitting down all night outdoors without a coat on or sleeping rough on a pavement, then the cold would be a real risk. But at most, while out on a walk for an hour or two, she's just going to feel cold, and that won't kill her.

I must breed very stubborn, defiant children because no matter how cold they get they do not put the coat back on once they have made the decision to not wear it/take it off!

Or they aren't actually cold.

my DSs run hot. They are very rarely cold (DS1 refused to wear trousers to primary school in winter, insisting on shorts). I, however, am always cold!

Get ready for the early teen years, Op because that's when some teens will wear a fleece in summer and no coat at all in the freezing winter! See them around here, cold day no coat and carrying a blazer. It passes at about 16 and they wear coats again!

Don't head home because she won't wear the coat. That will reinforce not having to wear the coat and she needs to be given the opportunity to feel cold and know when to replace the coat.

I think we've all experienced going out in winter, all wrapped up, then getting too warm once walking.

It's not awfully nice and certainly not necessary.

If she'd been shivering and clearly being stubborn I would have made her put it back on but if she was happy and comfortable then I really don't see the point, especially if that point is how you look to others.

I echo the previous 'pick your battles' comments, I often have a similar situation with my 5yo DS.

One thing that I find does help though is to give him an 'out'. He's very stubborn and might not put his coat back on if he gets cold (especially if he has made a fuss). So after a few minutes I might say something like "have you cooled down now? Your coat is here if you do want to wear it now".

Does she maybe need something like a good fleece instead?

I'd have said you carry it then, usually it's easier to wear it that carry it properly

This is quite funny. Some children are just incredibly stubborn!

My exh was apparently like that, according to ex MIL. I see bits of this in my kids but not to this extent 😂

This is a good suggestion for many children

@BertieBotts how old are your kids?

My youngest hates being wrapped up. He's a stubborn wee thing. If he doesn't want to wear something there is sweet FA I can do about it.

Putting a coat on he'd drop his shoulders so it fell off before I could zip it. He'd be pulling one leg out of trousers before I could get the other one in.

We now settle on very thin jackets and shorts - if he's cold he'll put gloves on

I remember a similar situation with DC1 in a town centre at the same kind of age. It was raining and cold and just a rotten day. A passerby said they need a good spanking and then they wouldn't argue when I told them to keep their coat on 😡

I wouldn't have argued about the coat but I also wouldn't have told her she didn't need to say sorry. Talk about confusing.

sounds like she finds this coat uncomfortable. can you look into getting a different style? possibly the next size up, second hand - not a puffer jacket if she doesn't like that?

Does it crinkle and make an annoying noise?

15, 5 and 2.

I don't interfere in the 15yo's decision to wear a coat any more

I know the 5yo is cold, because (on various occasions, sometimes all four) he's shivering and his teeth are chattering and his hands are bright red and he's making a face and saying "I'm so cold I'm going to die" and if he has made a decision that he's not going to put his coat on, he still won't

Also, if he looked like or was saying that he was too hot then I would let him take it off. (Not that I can really prevent him. But I would prefer him to keep it on if he is obviously cold).

That's why I have the ridiculous list of suggestions on page 1. I have learnt many tricks.

The 2yo does not seem to mind wearing a coat (yet). He is more likely to protest if everyone does not have an appropriate hat. But he is my half German child.

@BertieBotts your 5yo will learn in time
Children are weird creatures.

I picked my 7yo up tonight in a really thin fleece and woolly gloves - refused to put on his soft shell jacket that I bought him.

Be careful. She is a stubborn one like my DD. Be careful you keep her onside now. You don't want her not to be close to you in teen years.

@Flyhigher What do you mean keep her on side?

She’s very stubborn, independent and strong 🙈

I let mine learn actions have consequences.
Yes fine you can take your coat off but you will get wet and cold.
And don’t worry about what other people think!

I genuinely don't think you need to worry about your DD not being close to you as a teen because she was asked to keep her coat on as a child.....only on MN 🤣

I never made mine wear coats if they didn't want to. I told them it was cold/wet then let them get on with it. They soon learn when they are cold.

You unnecessarily made it in to a big deal. Who in the world cares. If she's cold she will put it back on.

I hate wearing coats, they feel suffocating. Even in the cold we had this week I just wore a thin primark Mac and didn’t do it up!

I’m the same!
I feel like I’m being strangled. The girls at work all day they know when it’s really cold….I’ll give in and out a coat on!
They’re all freezing just looking at me waltzing I’m in just a t shirt when it’s 5 degrees. I think the menopause may also play a part. 😂

It's blazer and shirts weather for secondary children.

Admittedly my teenager did look a tad chilly yesterday, but that was due to 90+ minutes of double PE in t-shirt and shorts in 3⁰C. Did he look for his PE sweatshirt when he got home? Did he heck.

Pick your battles. Taking a coat- necessary. Wearing it- that's their perogative.

You told her she didn’t have to say sorry? I have no words.