5 year old took coat off-what would you have done?

[Swiftschoolpickup]

After school dog walk with my Dd, 5.5. It was cold (v cold) and almost drizzly. She had a long sleeved dress, tights and boots on and her puffa type jacket. All was going well, a nice walk, when Dd says she doesn’t want her coat on and takes it off. I tell her it’s too cold, it’s January and to put it back on, cue almighty meltdown, crying lots and shouting and refusing to put it on. So we walk back to the car to go home, walking past people looking at me like I’m an awful mother.
Dd calmed down later and said sorry, I said she didn’t need to say sorry but explained to her why she needs to wear a coat. She said she didn’t feel free, which I get…
Did I deal with this correctly? Never sure if I’m being too harsh or not firm enough
What would you have done?
Is it normal that she got this upset about it?

My dd is the same, I don't fight it anymore. Mine often refuses to wear it when leaving the house because she hates the feeling of a
Jumper and then the coat on top- she used to get upset if i'd try and encourage her to wear both. She will usually swap the jumper for the cost after a few mins. It sounds like you were having a nice walk, I wouldn't have spoilt it over something that is essentially her choice.

I used to be like this until another parent made a joke that "kids have to wear coats because their parents are cold". I often chuckle at that. Totally reframed it for me! I see coats as a pick-your-battle issue now.

Still fighting with my 14 year old to wear a coat. It does get a bit boring.

Why bother? Just why?

I’d have suggested she tries without the coat and puts it on again if she feels cold. Could also offer coat on but undone as a compromise.

It’s not the Antarctic- 2 mins without a coat won’t hurt her. I see someone above posting a suggestion that being cold weakens the immune system but even that isn’t suggesting that it’s something that happens in a couple of minutes.

Personally I find padded coats get too hot if I'm walking. For me, they're only suitable for if I'm doing a lot of standing around. I'd say for a usual UK cold day when being active, a thin waterproof coat along with hat, gloves, scarf is usually enough. You can always take a fleece/cardi to add an extra layer if needed.

I dont think there was a right or wrong. I've done both options at different times.

The worse that happened from your choice is that she didn't end up spending half the night rattling and coughing from the cold air getting on her chest. That's not being a bad mum.

ETA: at 5.5 she is not a toddler and old enough to understand that behaviour is not an acceptable reaction to being asked to wear her coat - although I sympathise and dont judge as i know how tired they are after school. But in think you were right to cut the walk short.

Maybe think about bringing the dog to school to incorporate the walk before you get home and bring a snack or something.

Do you have a medical link for "cold air on her chest"?

I was assuming the child wasn't naked under her coat 😂

That's a joke, right?

Cold air on her chest? WTF?

DS never wanted to wear a coat at that age either. I just let him get on with it.
He's now 19 and still doesn't wear a coat. So, unless he's making some sort of protracted point, I guess he did know from quite an early age that he simply preferred not to have one.

Please let your DD have her own feelings. It's up to her to decide whether she prefers the freeness of no coat but getting a bit cold, or to be warmer. Not for an adult to decide for her.

Coats is something I push a little bit, but never argue about. What's the point? If they feel cold enough, they will put it on - provided they feel they won't 'lose face" to do so. So my approach is to say "I think you'll be cold without your coat". If we are indoors about to go out, I'll say "it's warm in here, it's hard to tell if you'll need it isn't it. Do you want to open the door and check the temperature?"

If it's all still a no, then a lighthearted "OK, I'll bring it just in case" and bring it. When they ask for it, don't say "I told you so" or "I said it was cold" etc, just give it to them. I've found sometimes with my boys (now 6 and 8) they will be visibly shivery and I have to say "I have your coat here, let me know if you want it" and they'll then take it, or other times they just ask for it themselves.

It's a pointless thing to argue about and I think often based on that we think other people will judge us if our child has no coat on. Coats can feel uncomfortable and like they're limiting our movement and I think kids find that more uncomfortable than cold sometimes.

I normally end up holding DD7 coat unless it’s super cold and to be honest I run really hot and would quite happily go without one too most of the time if it wasn’t for “aren’t you cold” comments!

We went for a walk this weekend and DH was in thermal under layer, t shirt, jumper and big thick coat and I was hot in a thin ish long sleeved top and normal coat - different people feel temperature differently.

@VisionsOfSplendour @kisstheblarney have a google. Cold triggered asthma.

Where does the OP say her child has asthma?

At her age I would suggest that she knows whether she’s hot or cold. If she takes her coat off on a chilly day because she’s hot in it she can put it back on again when she feels cold.

Cold can trigger asthma symptoms but it wouldn’t be through not wearing a coat - more like breathing in the cold air. I have asthma and wear a scarf loosely wrapped around my mouth and nose so I’m not breathing in so much cold air. I don’t think the OP has mentioned asthma though.

This.
Don't feel bad about it.
The meltdown may have been partly 'pent up after school' tension- she's probably been given dozens of instructions today so one more (from her safe person) resulted in meltdown.
But it's really OK if she has one once in a while- sounds like she felt better afterwards. The fact she apologised later and you reiterated that this is coat weather is really well handled from both of you.

I let them get cold. They soon learn the benefits of a coat.

i used to keep offering them the coat (loudly and more often when there were people about!) but at 5 I wasn't going to wrestle them into it when I wanted to get home.

@VisionsOfSplendour it can come on at any time. Why are you making such a thing about this? Links! Proof it's relevant!

@Cheesehound that's a fair point about the coat and breathing in cold air x

What asthma? It doesn't cause asthma! I'm highly sceptical it triggers it either!

Don't be ridiculous! A cold chest causes asthma? Not the breathing in of cold air, that a cost would not stop?

Because it's stupid to enforce coat wearing on the minute chance that a hypothetical child might develop an unlikely condition

Do you apply that logic to all aspects of life?