5 year old took coat off-what would you have done?

[Swiftschoolpickup]

After school dog walk with my Dd, 5.5. It was cold (v cold) and almost drizzly. She had a long sleeved dress, tights and boots on and her puffa type jacket. All was going well, a nice walk, when Dd says she doesn’t want her coat on and takes it off. I tell her it’s too cold, it’s January and to put it back on, cue almighty meltdown, crying lots and shouting and refusing to put it on. So we walk back to the car to go home, walking past people looking at me like I’m an awful mother.
Dd calmed down later and said sorry, I said she didn’t need to say sorry but explained to her why she needs to wear a coat. She said she didn’t feel free, which I get…
Did I deal with this correctly? Never sure if I’m being too harsh or not firm enough
What would you have done?
Is it normal that she got this upset about it?

Let it go.

dont feel bad, we've all been there with the unecessary arguments with a 5 year old. My 12 year old is the same, in fact, we went for a walk the other day and he had just a t shirt and hoodie on and I had coat scarf and gloves.

I get incredibly hot when I walk, and often take my coat off. Took it off on new years eve during a 3 mile rainy walk! I'd be very annoyed if someone insisted I had to keep it on.

Who are we to determine if someone else is cold or not?

My GC drives me mad with this, she won't put her coat on even if it is freezing or raining, sometimes just puts the hood over her head. Even if she puts it on she won't do it up. I only want her to wear it so that she doesn't have to spend the school day sitting in wet, cold clothes.

Kids learn better from their own mistakes (don’t we all 🫢) As long as it is not life threatening, let them figure it for themselves, and be there with the coat (or whatever) when she needs it! And that demonstrates trust and love 🥰🥰🥰

Ours always take their coats off, but the rules are it's your coat, you have to carry it (or tie it round you own waist)

I've always had a wear what you like but don't whinge policy. Seems to work.

From being small I've taught DD that you make your choice and suffer the consequences, for anything minor. I asked her to put her coat on on one ocassion because it was cold, she said 'no I choose to be cold' we got outside and she said 'I choose to put my coat on now'😅 pick your battles is my advice

My daughter is the same with coats OP, she hates them, she copes much better with gilets, she's much more comfy with her arms free and it goes some way to keeping her warm. Will she wear a hat? We have a uniform on ( vest, polo, cardigan, trousers and boots) gilet and a hat and she is happy with this.

Also, don't worry about the streaming noses, wearing a coat won't stop those, she wont catch a cold from being cold, its a virus that the kids happily spread between them 🤧 and we are now in the aptly named 'germ term'

Don’t feel bad op, I am guilty of doing the same with my kids. ‘No it’s cold you really need to put your coat on!’ But imagine as an adult… out on a walk, & you’re hot and take your coat off. And your partner says put your coat on it’s cold! & you’re like… I don’t feel cold and I feel restricted in my coat. I want to take it off. But being forced to wear it again. So frustrating! I now allow my kids to decide completely about what is on there body. Quite often they’ll want to take their coat off & 2 minutes later ask for it back. That’s fine, they’re learning… or genuinely feel hot then feel cold again. Follow her queues. But don’t feel bad! You’re just trying to protect her..

My youngest now 9 has always been anti jumpers and coats. Always a battle since nursery age. He never feels the cold whereas I do and dress accordingly. He is the only one who goes to school in a showerproof jacket (no padding or lining) and no school jumper. It’s been freezing this last few weeks and he came home today without the jacket on. Football was outside on Monday night. Frosty and bitter. He was there in just shorts and a top not even shivering and I was holding his jacket. I’ve always insisted he puts on a coat and he chose a padded Adidas jacket which he barely wears. He will take it off minutes after we start walking. He does wear hoodies on and off.
He's a huge sports fan and plays a lot of sport and when he isn’t on a pitch he’s running loops around us all. Always doing something which we guess keeps him warm enough and we live in the Lakes so he’s always running around lakes and in fells in next to nothing.
You’ll find as your kiddo gets older she won’t be the only one who refuses to wear a jacket. I know a number of parents who have the same issue and broadcast on social media regularly of their kids not wanting to wear a jacket and don’t judge their parenting! You mean well as I did and want to keep them warm and snug but sometimes you just have to go with it.

I would have just given up and carried the coat after I'd asked her to put It back on and she was refusing. She would have soon got cold and asked for the coat back.

Not worth fighting over. She can decide if she’s uncomfortable, and should be able to act on it. If she gets cold - she can decide whether being uncomfortable in a coat is better than being uncomfortably cold.

Ach, don't feel bad about it OP, it's a lesson learned for you. Pick your battles!
We collected the kids (4 & 7) yesterday from school and as usual, immediately acquired 2 coats, a jumper and 2 school bags as they were shed. Some of the layers were put back on voluntarily due to the arctic blasts!

I would have made her ware it. Their body temperature can drop quickly.
Once home, I would then look at the reasons she may not have wanted to ware it. Size etc
You are the boss. Just because she throws a tantrum doesn’t mean she gets her own way. This is about avoiding a chill and being responsible.

Would have let her get on with it. Don't really think it was worth an argument to be honest if she was cold she would've put it back on.

I think you handled it perfectly. The fact she apologized reflects this. She might have a bit of a sensory thing going on and have felt uncomfortable which is worth keeping in mind when choosing the next coat.

“People looking at me like I’m an awful mother”
Why do you care about other people and what they might think? Especially as you are doing nothing wrong.

My 4 year old does this and I just let him. He soon puts it on 😂 I think pick your battles, who care what others think, most likely people don’t even notice.

Don’t feel bad, we’ve all had those times with our dcs. It’s tough navigating what we think is best for them versus what they want. I’m not sure that ever changes! The fact yours apologised suggests you’re a pretty brilliant mum doing a great job.

My youngest dc was always like this and eventually went as far as refusing to put a coat on at all to go out. I started buying microlight jackets for him and problem solved. Even now, he will only wear the microlight variety and he’s in his teens.

Children warm up, she didn't want it on.
I started off today with layers and after a brisk walk l too was taking my bulky coat off.

This!

Pick your battles. Your child will tell you when they're cold.

Pick your battles. It was a coat, not a seat belt. She was defiant and got cold.

I would have let her take it off. I would say "look it's raining and cold and I think you should wear your coat" but ultimately the choice is theirs at age 5. For my 2 year old I will be keener to make them wear it, especially if they won't be able to get warm again easily e.g. sitting still in the pram, but still wouldn't enforce if they really didn't want to. They may get cold and can then put it back on, it's not going to actually harm them. Colds and coughs are caused by viruses not by exposure to cold air