5 year old took coat off-what would you have done?

[Swiftschoolpickup]

After school dog walk with my Dd, 5.5. It was cold (v cold) and almost drizzly. She had a long sleeved dress, tights and boots on and her puffa type jacket. All was going well, a nice walk, when Dd says she doesn’t want her coat on and takes it off. I tell her it’s too cold, it’s January and to put it back on, cue almighty meltdown, crying lots and shouting and refusing to put it on. So we walk back to the car to go home, walking past people looking at me like I’m an awful mother.
Dd calmed down later and said sorry, I said she didn’t need to say sorry but explained to her why she needs to wear a coat. She said she didn’t feel free, which I get…
Did I deal with this correctly? Never sure if I’m being too harsh or not firm enough
What would you have done?
Is it normal that she got this upset about it?

I wouldn’t have been bothered - she’s the one who would be cold and if she was that cold she would put it back on. My 15yr old daughter will not wear a coat, I don’t argue with her about it, she’s the one who will be cold.

At 5.5 she's old enough to manage her own temperature. DH has this argument all the time with DD. I let her do what she wants, just take the coat for her to put on.

I hate it when people insist kids wear coats - I was the child who never wanted to wear one and genuinely wouldn't have been cold without one. I get over heated with a coat on. I was constantly told I was cold when I wasn't and that was so frustrating. Not everyone feels the cold and she can put it back on if she starts to feel cold.

The streaming nose is irrelevant. Not wearing a coat won't make it worse.

Children don't though.
Their temperature control is very poor,like the elderly.
They usually don't want to wear a coat for other reasons .
Parents are there to parent although it seems to be going out of fashion these days

#TeamCoat

This.
Pick your battles.

My kids could always decide themselves, the only rule was I wasn't carrying it.

You don’t get ill from being cold or not wearing an appropriate coat, you get ill from a virus

I take my coat off pretty much every dog walk as walking is exercise, your HR increases, you get hot

At that age of course she knows if she's hot or cold.

I think you’re getting a hard time here OP!

It was so cold here yesterday that I would have done exactly the same. When it’s milder yes she can choose, but she is 5. In some situations Mummy says you have to do things and that is it.

Mine have to carry their own coat if they aren't wearing it, but I let them choose if they want it on, or tied round their waist. It's not for me to tell them what temperature it is. I insist a coat goes in the car wherever we go once it drops into single figures tho.

DS2 is currently asleep under a 1.5 tog duvet. The rest of the house is under 10.5togs. Some people have different temperature preferences.

Why?

I don't understand the obsession with coat wearing, it's not an irreversible situation - take caot off, realize a little later coat is needed, put coat back on

Why do some people make life so difficult?

And another vote for sneezing not being caused by a short time with fewer layers

That is young babies who cannot regulate their body temperature, not 5.5 year olds!

Why?

Does your five year old not know if she is too hot or not?

What she is she allowed to say "I'm too hot"?

If she took it off, got cold she could put it back on.

I hope you're forced in a walk to wear your coat when you are hot.

Sometimes mummy has to accept that her child knows if they want a coat on or not.

Yeah it's a consequence decision. If she feels cold she puts the coat back on. She may feel differently to you, she may not like feeling too warm /restricted in a coat.

I don't like big coats, thick jumpers, hats or scarves as they feel too hot/tight. I prefer to feel cold.

Know I'm not with the majority but coat goes back on or straight home. Generally don't have this issue with my 6&8 year olds but have always taught them about dressing for the weather. They are generally layered up anyway in the winter and are used to it!
Understand about the not feeling free but maybe need to look at a different coat - problem is children often don't know they are cold. Be the adult!

Contrary to opinion here, there is a growing body of evidence that suggests being cold weakens the immune system. You can google this for specific papers, but this is a straightforward explanation:
https://www.gohealthuc.com/library/surprising-things-do-and-dont-affect-your-immune-system

I’m sure as a child I was the same. I hate wearing coats. They are so uncomfortable. I don’t have one as an adult unless it’s a fleece, which most people don’t seem to count as a proper coat. I love a fleece, they aren’t restrictive at all. But a normal coat - no thanks, I’d much rather be cold. Maybe get her a fleece? They aren’t waterproof, but again I’d rather be wet than in a normal waterproof coat.

Children and coats... age old mystery as to why so many won't wear them when it's cold.

Generally the way to deal with it is not to nag them and say things like "put your coat on darling..." when people pass you so it's clear you're not neglecting them. See also child who won't wear gloves, hat, socks, shoes in sub zero temperatures.

She'll put it back on when she's cold!

I would have cut the walk short though, it's obviously not good for her to be out in these temps for a long time.

So you live somewhere with extreme of temperature or is the importance of teaching about dressing for the weather another on the long list of things that mumsnet has told me I was a crap parent about when my children were younger

Thankfully they have survived and seem to be able to work it out despite my failings

Maybe I should blame my own parents, it was something I was taught as a child either

If DC doesn't want to wear their coat while we're out, they don't have to (excluding uncommon circumstances like being out in heavy snow). We live in mainland UK, the weather isn't usually so bad that there'd be any health risks associated with feeling cold for a bit. They're with a parent, dressed appropriately for the weather and have access to their coat when it's needed, the worst that'll happen is they'll learn about feeling cold when not wearing a coat.

Tbh the biggest thing you did wrong was tell her she didn’t need to say sorry when she apologised. Of course she needed to apologise she had a tantrum and needs to know she can’t act like that over being asked to wear a coat. It is a good thing she said sorry cos at least she knows she was wrong to act like that. I always used to tell mine on cold days if the coat is coming off they have to carry it, they soon put it back on

I think you've misunderstood what that's saying.

it was really bloody cold though and all the kids are coughing and with streaming noses.

You can't catch a cough or cold from being cold. You can have the cough reflex from cold air but that's a different thing.

Whoops only the first page loaded for me at first and I didn't see the other comments about this.

Like some other posters in this situation I have just said okay your choice and let him get cold, it's usually another two mins before he asks for it back on. Pick your battles