5 year old took coat off-what would you have done?

[Swiftschoolpickup]

After school dog walk with my Dd, 5.5. It was cold (v cold) and almost drizzly. She had a long sleeved dress, tights and boots on and her puffa type jacket. All was going well, a nice walk, when Dd says she doesn’t want her coat on and takes it off. I tell her it’s too cold, it’s January and to put it back on, cue almighty meltdown, crying lots and shouting and refusing to put it on. So we walk back to the car to go home, walking past people looking at me like I’m an awful mother.
Dd calmed down later and said sorry, I said she didn’t need to say sorry but explained to her why she needs to wear a coat. She said she didn’t feel free, which I get…
Did I deal with this correctly? Never sure if I’m being too harsh or not firm enough
What would you have done?
Is it normal that she got this upset about it?

The only thing I regret from my child-rearing years (not my kids) is telling them how they felt. When they said they were or weren't hungry, tired, thirsty, hurt, scared, hot or cold I should've believed them. Fair enough, a child's feeling can change within seconds - that's why we cart around drinks, snacks, coats, etc!

Thinking about it, it's really not great to spend the first decade of someone's life invalidating their experience and telling them they don't know their own feelings.

Why is it a big deal? If they get cold enough they will put it back on. The end.

I would have just said okay and carried the coat until she said she was cold. We all get a bit too warm in our coats somewhere. It's not worth getting into an argument with a 5 year old.

Id have just let her get on with it, she'd soon let you know if she was cold again. I can understand what she means about feeling free though, I hate wearing a coat, I feel all constrained, so in this cold weather (if it's not raining) I chuck a jumper and a huge woolly poncho on when walking the dog.

I hate wearing a coat too. Getting a bit cold isn't going to do her any harm.

What did you think would happen without a coat?

I used to ride out with a bunch of teenagers. My son and I would be wearing wool jerseys and down coats on cold days up with horses on hillsides. One boy was wearing a t-shirt and he just didn't feel the cold. I am sure he would have sweltered in what we were wearing. Incidentally, he was really skinny too so he didn't have natural insulation.

Yep. This.

Sneezing and coughing is not related to coat wearing, or not

The voice of reason!

Coats are not worth the fight. I will insist they be brought with, but not that they be worn.

my child has always voluntarily put on layers before damage was done. If they didn’t I would have to take a different approach.

Wait till teenage years. Omg you will have fun!

A light rain coat instead? Umbrella?
Puffer jackets get very warm fast. I got one last year I am surprised how I can not wear it as much as I thought I would because of the heat.
Particularly if you're walking, small kids do not feel the cold as we do.

Little children are taking two steps to our every one, so they probably do warm up more, and faster, when walking with us - they are working twice as hard as us.

You DO realise that being cold doesn't give you a cold, right?!!

By 5, they can tell you if they're cold and won't suffer too much if they're stubborn and refuse to give in. I'd check she isn't trying to say the coat doesn't fit or she has real issues with the style but if she just prefers not to wear it, I'd let her.

My son is 2 so he can't understand the concept of coats keeping you warm and he's small enough he could really suffer from cold. The second he can grasp the concept, I can't bloody wait to never have this argument with him again.

Too right she should have said sorry! Yes they have meltdowns and yes they should also say sorry. It seems she has more decency than you. I'm of the opinion you should have let her get cold and put it back on again herself. Sometimes they need to learn for themselves.

I’ve got a warm winter coat and after walking fur a while in it I often feel too hot so I take it off for a bit, yes even in December & January. Then after a few minutes I get cold so I put it back on.

Next time just let her take her coat off if she’s getting too hot.

I’d have let her take her coat off. She told you she didn’t want to wear it (and why) and you ignored her comfort because you thought you knew better. Forcing children to wear a coat is one of my parenting pet peeves so I’m sorry if it makes me grumpy.

Children need to learn and experience things for themselves. Mine often insists she doesn't need her coat on, then after five minutes realises I was right and puts the coast on.

I think it would be unhealthy for children to just always defer to their parent's greater knowledge.

My kids have to take a jacket with a hood if it's raining. DS is very slim and if he gets wet he he gets cold and can't warm back up again. Other than that they can do what they like. I'm always too warm and I was definitely the kid who didn't like coats when I was younger.

Clearly not!